Full Circle
by CCBug
Summary: Juliette Cousland and Nathaniel Howe had been friends their whole lives, but when everything seems to pit them against one another can they recover? And what of those "other" feelings growing between them? Story starts from Awakenings, please review!
1. Morning

Morning

Warden Commander Juliette Cousland looked down upon the Keeps courtyard, watching the servants and merchants begin their day.

It was easier for Juliette to forget, in the early morning before the responsibilities of the day began, mindlessly watching the beginning bustle below. A year or so ago, her view would have been of her father's castle, the routine that of the Cousland family and their people.

Now, her view was of the clusters of warriors and mages that seemed to always fill her halls. Not that she minded the warriors or mages, no indeed; they had been woven into her very fiber during these months and months of struggle. But the heartache of the loss of her family, not to mention the loss of the man who had helped her through the worst of it, could sometimes not be dulled with their boast and swagger.

As the sun reached the peak of the mountain behind the keep, the light broke across the granite walls, highlighting the abuse they had endured during the siege.

It had been two months since The Mother had died. The Architect had not been heard from since, and things at Vigil's Keep were beginning to return to normal. Amaranthine was recovering as well, having been saved by the Commander and her Warden's. The last of the darkspawn seemed routed, not just in Amaranthine, but in Ferelden as well.

Juliette scanned the horizon. Fall was arriving with each new day, and the time to prepare for the hostile winters the land was known for, had come. Travel would soon become difficult in the area, and so she and Seneschal Veral had begun planning in earnest for the season. It was a dull business, but a welcome respite after the endless warring of the last year.

She looked down in the courtyard a last time, having resigned herself to start her day, when she noticed Nathaniel Howe watching her from below. Anders was approaching him from behind, and she waved good morning to them before turning to reenter her rooms.

"Morning, Nathaniel," Anders said, startling him. "Looks like the commander had on quite the lovely little outfit this morning, what do you think?" he asked, referring to Juliette's nightgown.

"I hadn't noticed." Nathaniel began walking toward the main hall, Anders staying on his heels.

"Though I do think that she should choose a better color," Anders continued. "Blue doesn't flatter her at all."

"It was cream, not blue," answered Nathaniel, realizing instantly he was caught.

"Thought you hadn't noticed?" Anders replied, laughing with delight.

"Shut up, mage," Nathaniel grumbled, and abruptly changed his direction from the hall toward the armory, leaving Anders to his glee.

Juliette entered the main hall about a half hour later and said her good mornings. She saw Anders talking to the newest kitchen girl and smiled to herself. Truly, the man could give Zevran a run for his money.

"Commander, good morning," said Varel, arriving at her side."You slept well, I trust?"

"Hello Varel, how are you this fine morning?" she replied as she reached the sideboard and began to fill a plate with sausages and breads.

"We have received our correspondence for the week," her seneschal said. "It included a letter from the king, addressed to you."

Her hand stilled over the plate she was loading, "Addressed to the Warden Commander, you mean."

"No ma'am I do not. It is addressed to Lady Juliette Cousland," Varel replied. "It has the kings private seal, not his secretary's," Varel finished.

"Oh? Huh," Juliette said, baffled by this information. Shaking her head, she asked, "Is there anything else?"

"The reports of the scouting parties as well as the newer trade manifests for Mistress Woolsley," he stated. "Nothing more, it was a rather small delivery."

Juliette reached the end of the sideboard and looked around for a place to sit. She saw Nathaniel just sitting down to eat, "Thank you Varel. If you will leave the letter on my desk I will get to it this morning. Please review the reports for anything." she ordered, and nodded as he bowed and departed for her office. Juliette located Nathaniel again and went to sit with him.

"Commander," Nathaniel said, looking up at her as she arrived. "How are you this morning?"

"Confused actually," Juliette answered, swinging her legs over the bench. "But I'll get over that. How are you?" she said, settling next to him and picking up a fork.

She smelled like lavender and other feminine things. Nathaniel tried hard not to notice, "Why are you confused?" he asked.

"Oh, you know," and she waved her hand nonchalantly, "things."

Nathaniel smiled at her. "Not really. What things?"

"Strange letter for me, that's all, it's nothing, really," she answered, clearly not wanting to discuss it. "I've been cooped up with Varel for almost a week, anything interesting going on?"

He filled her in on the various comings and goings, Oghren's latest drunken stupor and other small events.

"He actually SANG?' Juliette asked incredulously. "I don't think I've heard him sing before; though I have heard a few ditties," she laughed at the memory.

Nathaniel smiled at her and then excused himself from the table. "Forgive me Commander, but I'm meeting Delilah this afternoon," and he pulled his long legs from under the table.

"Nathaniel, you've known me my whole life, you could just call me Juliette," she teased.

"You're not just Juliette any longer, though, are you?" he said, though he seemed to consider her comment. "Perhaps when we are speaking in private, I will think about it. Good day, Commander."

"Please send her my regards," she requested. "I'm hoping to visit with her soon, myself."

Nathaniel bowed slightly and departed.

Juliette watched him depart, his tall and muscular form moving with grace. His father had been Arl Rendon Howe. Rendon Howe had been the nobleman who had ruled this land and lived in this keep. Lost to the crown, after Arl Howe was proven a traitor, the arling had been given to the Gray Warden's as their new headquarters in Ferelden. Nathaniel had grown up here, and there were times she wondered how this must make him feel, though she had never been brave enough to ask him.

Howe had been a friend of her father, Bryce Cousland, and he and his children frequent guests at her family home, Highever Castle, the seat of her father's teyrn. She had grown up playing with Nathaniel, Thomas and their sister Delilah, running the ramparts of both homes. Juliette could remember almost every visit; she had anticipated their company so greatly.

Thomas, and Juliette's older brother, Fergus, were of the same age while Nathaniel, as the younger boy, had followed them everywhere, desperate to be included. Delilah and Juliette had always stuck together, but it didn't mean they weren't right behind the boys.

If the boys pretended to be knights, or some other heroes, then the girls were recruited as damsels in distress; most of the time though, the simply played. For the children of two important men, whose education, marriages, and paths had already been chosen, it was wonderful.

But Arl Howe had not been the friend he had seemed.

When King Cailan had sent out the call for aid against The Blight, both Howe and her father had rallied to respond. Once her father's men had marched ahead with her older brother Howe revealed his treachery. Howe used the castles lack of soldiers to his advantage, and succeeded in killing her parents, nephew, and Fergus's wife in one horrific strike. All lay butchered, and with a promise to seek vengeance and justice for her family to her dying father, Juliette had fled with the Gray Warden Commander, Duncan, committing her life to the service of the ancient order.

She had been newly nineteen, naïve, and devastated.

Juliette had kept her promise to her father, and killed Howe with her own blade. She did not regret this, but she greatly missed the ease and friendship that had always been between her and Nathaniel, lost with so many other things since that treacherous night.

Frowning, she remembered their reunion after she had arrived at Vigil's Keep.


	2. Distance

Distance

When she had first reached the cell door that night, she had not known what to expect. Varel had advised her that a thief had been captured shortly before the darkspawn had overrun the keep. The tale of his capture had been impressive, and the items he had been caught with surprising. Despite heavy 'encouragement', he had refused to answer any questions, and Varel had sought her advice on how to proceed. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she had headed into the jail.

The man had been sitting in a dark corner, his face hidden in shadows but when he had spoken she knew the voice.

"Well, if it isn't little Jules Cousland," said the man, as she stepped into the cell.

"Nate? Nate Howe?" she asked, as she crouched in front of him.

"People call me Nathaniel now," he answered.

"What are you doing here? They told me they had captured a thief," she noticed the bruises, and the broken lip. "Are you alright?" she reached out and gently touched his cheek.

"It's nothing," he snapped, slapping her hand away. "What am I doing here? This is my home, if you recall!" Nathaniel said with venom. "I came to avenge my father, my family name, I came to kill you," he seethed. He sat forward, and the slip of light from outside the cell illuminated his face, making his hate clear. "Then I learned that the Warden Commander, my father's murderer, was Juliette Cousland, the girl I used to fish with, the girl I taught to use a bow, the girl Thomas had had a crush on since I was 8 years old, and my friend," he finished, his voice dropping to a whisper.

Juliette sat slack jawed before him, and then realized what he was saying. "It was no murder, Nate. I swear it," she had said softly.

"Nathaniel!" he snapped. "I should believe you? I have been told well enough what happened!"

"Oh?" she leapt to her feet, her face contorting in rage."And did whoever told you, whatever it is you THINK you may know, that your father murdered my entire family? Mostly in their sleep?" she had yelled. "Did they tell you that he left my home that night having ordered his men to kill everyone within?"

Nathaniel got to his feet then as well, going toe to toe with her. "Your father was betraying us to the Orlesians! It was WAR!" he shouted in her face.

"War? Not even in war do so called honorable men slice four year old boys in half!" she said, shaking. "Those Howe men," she said, his name spoken with a sneer, "were truly defending their land and king when they ended the threat of Fergus's tiny son! I'm sure he wielded his toy sword with real menace!"

He had stopped short at that, his face changing, his confusion obvious, and she pounced on it.

"Guess your information was a bit off then? Maybe you should consider that the rest may be WRONG as well, hmm?' Juliette had spit out.

"Men do terrible things in the heat of battle, I'm sure my father would never have condoned..." Nathaniel had stammered before she cut him off.

"Oh, I know all about the heat of battle, and I know all about your father," she whispered. "He more than condoned it!"

"You lie better than you used to Jules," he met her stare evenly, still just inches from her face. "Heat of battle teach you that?"

"Never took you for a fool Nate," Juliette snapped.

"It's Nathaniel!" he barked.

They stayed that way for what seemed an eternity, nose to nose, neither one relenting in their anger or conviction. Finally Juliette stepped back, "GUARD!" she yelled.

"Decided my fate already, oh Warden Commander, Hero of Ferelden?" Nathaniel had sneered.

"You bet your ass I have," she turned and addressed the guard. "Go and get Seneschal Varel!" and then she paced his cell, her eyes back on him.

"Plan on killing me too?' he taunted. "It will be easier to get away with this time, won't it?"

Varel arrived almost immediately.

"Varel, do you know who this man is? No?" she turned to Nathaniel. "Seneschal Varel, meet Nathaniel Howe, Nathaniel Howe meet Varel, Seneschal of Vigil's Keep."

"A Howe? Here?' Varel looked ready to draw his weapon. "This man is a most serious threat and should be put to death, commander."

"That's what I said," was Nathaniel's response.

"Varel, didn't you tell me that the man captured required no less than four wardens to corner him?" she asked, ignoring Nathaniel.

"Yes ma'am that is correct," Varel watched Nathaniel intensely as he continued. "All the more reason he should be hung immediately," Varel stated flatly.

"Well, as it only took two wardens to take out an archdemon, and end the Blight, I am impressed, Nate," Juliette crossed her arms and looked him dead in the eye. "I hereby conscript you into the order of the Grey Wardens."

"What? Commander, this is a mistake!" Varel looked appalled.

"No! I refuse!" yelled Nathaniel. "I'd rather die!"

"Not today!" Juliette had answered cheerfully. "Sorry Nathaniel, I don't make it a habit of killing people for no good reason," she stepped out of the cell. "Even if they are behaving like ignorant twits," Juliette said to him before turning to speak with Varel. "Bring him up to the main hall," she ordered and left the jail.

A lot had happened since that night.

Over the next few months, Juliette had worked hard to show Nathaniel that she was still his friend. He had worked equally hard on avoiding her. But during their travels, Nathaniel had found his sister, Delilah again and it was through Delilah that he had learned the truth of his father's twisted deeds. It had been hard for him, accepting it all, but in the end he had quietly sought her out and apologized.

"I owe you an apology, it seems you were right about some things," he had begun, and he shared what he had learned. Nathaniel had been in agony, and she had tried to ease his pain. It had been the first genuine and open conversation they had had since before the Blight.

Juliette had been hopeful that it would allow him relax around her, that some of the friendship she had cherished when they were children would return, but it had not. Though Nathaniel acted more like the kind and thoughtful person she had always known, he still remained at arm's length, never letting his guard down around her; or anyone as far as she could tell. She missed him. Suddenly, Juliette realized she had been sitting alone at the table for a very long time.

Remembering that she had a letter she was anxious to read, she quickly rose and departed for her office.


	3. Called onto the Carpet

Called onto the Carpet

Juliette shut her office door, and made a bee line for her desk. As she came to the side of her chair, she spotted the letter that Varel had mentioned.

She picked it up and ran her hand over the back, seeing that he had been right, it was indeed Alistair's private seal. Turning over the letter, she recognized the handwriting as his. Her heart began to thump in her chest, as Juliette sat down and opened her letter.

_Juliette,_ it began, _I realize that when we last spoke it was not easy for either of us. As such, let me start by saying that I think of you often, and regret any discord between us._

Juliette paused, "Discord?" she muttered, "You broke my heart!" she shook her head and continued reading.

_I hope that this finds you safe and well. I understand that your recruits have proven to be skilled fighters. As I am no longer the one covering your back, this brings me much relief._

"Interesting," she whispered, and read on.

_I am pleased with the reports your seneschal has been sending. It seems that you have truly brought a sense of stability to the area and for that I am most grateful. I knew when departing that night, after the darkspawn had left the keep in shambles that you were facing a monumental challenge but, as usual, you succeeded where most would have failed._

Juliette sat back against her chair. She was getting a headache, wondering where Alistair was really headed with all this flattery.

_I must admit though, that as more information regarding the darkspawn known as "The Mother", and "The Architect", and your choices thereafter, have left me gravely concerned._

"Here it comes," Juliette said.

_I will ultimately be the one defending your decisions, and many questions are being raised. I want you to come to Denerim and meet with me as soon as possible. You need to fully explain your actions as well as your next steps._

"Damn it!"Juliette yelled at the letter. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

_I hope that you can depart immediately, and look forward to your safe arrival. May the Maker watch over you._

_Alistair_

"Andraste's ass!" Juliette yelled. She stood up and paced, then returned to her desk and read the letter again. "Fully explain? Explain myself? Of all the pompous…" she trailed off, and threw the letter down on her desktop, and resumed pacing her office. Juliette snarled as she heard a knock at her door, "WHAT?" she bellowed. The door opened and Anders put his head though the opening.

"Wow. Who pooped in your porridge?" Anders asked, as he watched her marched back and forth.

"Mighty King Alistair had summoned me to explain myself about The Architect!" she snapped out.

"Oh. Yikes. Well, you had to see that one coming, though right?" Anders said. "I mean, you did negotiate something of a treaty with the darkspawn, didn't you? Can't imagine why that might raise a few eyebrows," and he wiggled his own.

Juliette narrowed her eyes, not masking her annoyance at his flippancy. "Did you want something Anders, or shall I just kick you back down the stairs?"

Anders smiled. "Why are you so worried, anyway? We all know the King has a soft spot for you."

Juliette turned on him and charged. Anders tried to back pedal out the door. "Ouch!" he yelled as she grabbed the back of his mages robe. "Watch the velvet!"

"OUT!" and she slammed the door shut.

Anders stood outside the door, gathering his dignity, and straightening his robes. "Fine, be huffy about it!" he yelled at the door.

He smile was bright with the news of this development, and he ran to find Oghren, anxious to share his tale.


	4. Reflections

Reflection

Nathaniel returned to the Vigil at dusk, having visited his sister and husband, feeling somewhat satisfied with his current state of affairs.

Since coming back to Vigil's Keep that night so many months ago, his life had been flipped upside down, shaken, and rearranged, in almost every way imaginable.

He had returned here intent on the destruction of the Warden Commander. Nathaniel had spent days outside of the keeps walls, hiding in the shadows, observing the intruders in his home, HIS home. When he finally felt sure that the Commander's arrival was imminent, he had snuck through one of the many ancient tunnels that ran throughout the fortress.

Once inside though, he had begun to overhear conversations that had made his resolve weaken. Snippets of things, regarding his father, that he had heard murmurs of in his travels back to Amaranthine. Niggling little things, that when all together had begun to add up to some doubt of his father's innocence.

Ultimately though, it had been overhearing Seneschal Varel speaking with Mistress Woolsley about their new commander that saved her life.

"Her background, Varel; that is my main concern! She is so young and so new to the Warden's" the older lady had been saying. "Hero or no, she may not be up to the task of ruling this keep, and this troubled land."

Nathaniel was perched in the high rafters of the hall, looking down as the man and woman walked across the hall together.

"It is my understanding from the King, that she is the daughter of the late Teyrn of Highever, well educated, and raised on and off at court." Nathaniel had been so shocked he had almost lost his grip on the beam he was balanced on. Steadying himself he listened on, "He has professed absolute faith in her, and as the seneschal of this keep, she will have my full support and guidance."

"We shall see," Mistress Woolsley had said through drawn lips.

He had watched them exit and crept back into the eves. He sat for several minutes in silence, simply overcome with shock.

"Jules is the Warden Commander, the Hero of Ferelden?" he finally whispered aloud.

Juliette Cousland had been a friend to him in every situation imaginable. From the time she could toddle, he had found her at his heels, with a sweet grin and an easy disposition. As she had grown older, her wit became sharpened on many a village bully, and her kindness to those around her obvious. She could dance a jig that had made ever man of Highever proud that she was their teyrn's daughter, and her laughter had been infectious.

But to Nathaniel, there had been one defining moment between them that forever changed the way he felt about her. While the Cousland family was visiting, he and Juliette had been sprawled onto the gallery floor, looking at picture books together, lost in childhood day dreams. They both heard his father yelling at his grandmother, and Nathaniel grabbed her up and they hid behind the bookcase, while his father stormed through. But in his haste to hide them from his father's wrath, he had left a few books on the floor. Arl Howe kicked them as he went through the room.

"No respect for what I have earned! Just like that bitch!" Rendon Howe said and screamed for Nathaniel. He left their hiding place, but had told Juliette to stay.

Nathaniel faced his raging father, who proceeded to say every horrible thing that could be said to a 13 year old boy. He ended his tirade with a hard backhand to Nathaniel's face, and a shove into a tableside. Arl Howe had then stomped away, leaving his son on his knees.

Nathaniel had never been more humiliated in his entire life. Not because of the smack and shove, but because his father had done it in front of Juliette. Teyrn Cousland had never once lost his temper in all the years he had known him, had never once cuffed Fergus, or scowled at his wife. He just knew that Juliette would be terrified, and tell everyone.

He felt her sit down next to him. They sat side by side in silence for a while, Nathaniel not having the courage to look at her. Eventually, he had felt her hand slide into his, and after a few more minutes of quiet she whispered in his ear, "I won't tell anyone what happened. I thought you were very brave."

Juliette's simple understanding and acceptance had lifted the weight from his shoulders. Nathaniel finally looked up, and met her eyes. "Thanks," was all he could manage right then, but it was enough. From then on they had been the best of friends, nearly inseparable, much to Thomas's annoyance.

And so, as he had sat in the eves in the home that was no longer his home, Nathaniel had realized that all that he had known as a boy had truly gone. Vengeance or not, wronged as he felt at that moment, he would never be able to harm a hair on Juliette's head.

Nathaniel didn't recall how long he had sat there, but at some point he decided that he would search the keep for some mementos before he left for good. It was in doing this that he was caught; cornered by all those Warden's, and he wound up in a dirty cell being bloodied up for information.

But then the darkspawn had come along and those men had all perished and the next thing he knew Juliette Cousland was again sitting down next to him.

His reaction had been less than gentlemanly, and they had had quite a screaming match. Accusations flew and he had hurt her, ripping open the wound inflicted by his father, but he hadn't understood any of that then.

Once he had been reunited with his sister, she had made clear the atrocities committed by their father. Arl Howe had murdered the Cousland's, and in doing so, began a series of events that ended with his own family's demise.

Reeling from this, he realized the horrible pain he had heaped on her, on them both. Nathaniel had sought her out, apologizing profusely. Juliette had been kind and understanding like always, but he was still ashamed of that night.

One thing he knew was that his friend had deserved much better.

Nathaniel had dedicated himself to looking after her since then. He was quick with his covering shots, but he strove to become quicker. He trained and drilled until his responses were instinctive, allowing him to plan for every contingent, allowing him to protect her.

He found he could still be surprised by her abilities. Juliette was tall and slender, but certainly she didn't look as capable as she was. She was lightening quick with her blades, and could fade into the shadows in a blink of an eye. Her skills were amazing, and her commitment to the Warden's whole. Little Jules had grown up and become a smart, formidable, and beautiful woman.

It was the beautiful part that Nathaniel was having a hard time with. If Nathaniel was honest with himself, he could admit that she was exactly the woman he would desire most, if she weren't Juliette.

The more time they had together the more aware of her he became. Juliette smelled GOOD, and her long hair shined in the sunlight. Her lips were full, and when she smiled, her eyes changed. She was long legged, and her hips swayed in her leathers, and her bum…

"Oh, don't think about her bum," Nathaniel whispered to himself, as he rounded the last hill that led to the villages' main entrance.

More than anything Nathaniel wanted to stop noticing all of those things.

Juliette was an important woman who didn't need to be tied to a Howe; it would only tarnish her reputation to be associated with him. He didn't have a hope in the world that he would ever be worthy of her.

Yet she persisted in seeking him out. Clearly she was trying to rekindle their lost friendship, joking with him, or eating with him, and treating him as her equal. Juliette didn't seem to think of him as the son of the man who had murdered her family. Truly, when he thought of it he was confounded by her behavior towards him.

It was making it very hard for him to stay away from her.

Nathaniel looked up, realizing that someone was calling his name.

"Howe where the hell have you been?" came the burly voice again. "Ancestor's tits boy! Things around here are coming apart, and you're nowhere to be found!

"Hello Oghren, what are you going on about?" and Nathaniel came to a stop in front of the dwarf.

"The Commander's been summoned to Denerim," barked out the red haired man. "Apparently the King is a little mad at her about the whole Architect thing. Anders said she's been in a real pisser of a mood, stomping around the Keep all day."

"What has he got to be mad about- she did nothing wrong!" Nathaniel defended. "Surely he must know that, Anders is probably exaggerating again," but he was concerned about her all the same, and his pace reflected it.

"I don't think so this time. She's preparing to leave the day after tomorrow," Oghren said. "Course, Anders said he thought the rush could be she was hoping to knock boots with him again, he he."

Nathaniel stopped dead in his tracks. "What did you say?"

"Knock boots, do the tumbling tango, bump uglies, you catchin' my drift?" the dwarf smiled. "She's a looker, our commander is, and back in the day she and the king did more than their fair share of, uh, 'wardening', if you get my meaning," Oghren chuckled at his own wit.

Nathaniel felt a pit in of jealousy forming in his stomach.

"But then, he went and got crowned, and he washed his hands of her then and there. He ended it with her right in front of all of us too," Oghren said, frowning at the memory. "Haven't liked the blighter much since then."

Nathaniel could only imagine how horrible that must have been for her. She was always so careful with other peoples' feelings. He didn't think he liked the 'blighter', as Oghren had called him, much either.

"Anyway, she's been waiting for you to return," Oghren explained. "She wants to talk to you, me, and Anders, since we were there when she spoke with the Architect," he finished.

They reached the Keep a few minutes later where Anders was seated in the hall, and Varel saw them. "Please go up to the Commander's office. She's waiting for you three," he ordered.

The three men headed down the corridor and up the short flight of steps to their commander's door. Nathaniel lifted his hand and knocked.


	5. Prepare to Leave chapter 5

Preparing to Leave

"Come in!"called a response from within.

They entered the room to find the Warden Commander sitting behind her desk, her auburn hair loose, and her feet propped up next to an opened bottle of brandy.

"Well boys, pack your skivvies! We're going on a road trip," she said and raised her glass.

"Oh goody, buxom barmaids in random inns!" said Anders.

"Better get started on some creams, Anders." Juliette retorted with a chuckle.

"What is this all about, Commander?" Nathaniel asked, concerned with her laissez-faire attitude. It wasn't like her.

"Oh, let's see," Juliette answered. "The King says that some of the choices I've had to make up here, you know alone, with no back up whatsoever from HIM, leave him, uh," and she picked up a piece of paper, scrutinizing it, "oh, here it is, 'gravely concerned'," she looked back up at them, "and I'm to go to Denerim immediately and," she looked down at the letter again, "fully explain my actions. So off we go."

"Eh, Commander, got a spare glass?" asked Oghren.

Juliette pointed to the table behind him, "Help yourself!"

"I want you three to go with me," Juliette explained. "I honestly don't know what to expect when I get there, and its best if those of us directly involved are all present."

"When shall we leave?" Nathaniel asked.

"Varel and I need a day to finalize a few things, so first light day after tomorrow," she sat forward and poured some more brandy into her glass. "It should take at least 4 days to get there, and that's if travel is uneventful, which in my experience, it never is," and she lifted the glass to her lips.

"I've never been to court before! I wonder what I should wear?" pondered Anders.

"The fancier and more adorned the better," replied Juliette. "What about that purple silk one with the be..."

Nathaniel interrupted, "Is this the conversation we are ACTUALLY having? Barmaids and fancy man robes?" Nathaniel pinned Juliette with a serious look. "The king has summoned us to answer for our actions and we speak of frivolous Anders' clothing?" he asked, his manner stiff.

"Hey!" said Anders. "Frivolity can be an endearing quality, when done well!"

Nathaniel scowled at Anders.

Juliette sat forward and sighed. "The king has summoned me, Nathaniel, and it's my actions that are being questioned, no one else's," she stood to come around to the front of her desk, and leaned on it. "I only want you all with me so that there can be no accusation of deception," Juliette continued. "No hint that I'm hiding my men from the King's questions. You know how those at court can be."

"I know that you had our complete agreement in your decision not to kill The Architect. I made a choice to support you," Nathaniel approached her. "I have no intention of letting them attack you."

"The Commander knows we've got her back, boy," said Oghren. "She just saying she's got ours too."

"I know what she's saying, Oghren," Nathaniel reached Juliette's side. "I will do anything I can to help you." he said looking into her eyes.

"Of course we will!" Anders cheerfully said. "How long do you think we will be in Denerim?"

Nathaniel was still looking straight into her eyes, just a few inches from her side. Juliette held his gaze, feeling her confidence rise. He looked so large standing there, she could feel his anger on her behalf, that he was ready to fight for her. It occurred to her that she had needed him to defend her, and she felt a rush of happiness at his instant willingness to do so.

Juliette gently smiled at him, and reached out to touch his arm, "Thank you."

He held her eyes until she turned to answer Anders.

"To be safe, I would estimate a month. I hope that it's much shorter than that though, there are so many things that need to be attended to," she walked back around the desk. "Varel and I will finish the most urgent things tomorrow. I would appreciate it if you three could do whatever you need to do to be ready," she stated. "Oghren, I have made arrangements for Felsi to stay here while you are away if you would like."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow, Commander, and let her know. Thanks for thinkin of them," Oghren said gruffly.

"Of course," Juliette replied. "Anders, you should focus on preparing whatever potions you may need as back up," she continued with the orders. "While the scouting reports look like things are quiet out there, I don't want to relax our guard."

"Yes, Commander," said Anders. "I will need to go to Amaranthine first thing."

"Would you mind taking a note to my sister?" asked Nathaniel "I want her to know I will be away."

"Sure, Albert had ordered a few trinkets for me anyway," Anders said, nodding his agreement. "I can check and see if they are in."

"Well then I guess that's it then," said Juliette. "It's getting late and I have a mountain of reports to review, not to mention brandy to drink, so unless you three have anything else to add?"

They each declined further comment, and she nodded good night as the three turned toward her door.

"Commander, you, uh, going to finish the bottle?" asked Oghren.

Juliette smiled at him shaking her head, "No sir, take it with you. What's left in my glass will put me under my desk as it is," she laughed, glancing underneath. "I hope it's comfortable under there," she joked. "Good night," and they were dismissed.

They filed through her door, exiting her office and it was quickly closed behind them.

Oghren looked at Nathaniel and Anders, "I think she's worried boys, how about you?"

"She's a tough nut, she'll be alright," replied Anders. "I wonder if that new girl, Anna, is still downstairs?" and he left them in the corridor.

Silence fell between Oghren and Nathaniel as they watched him go.

"I agree with you dwarf. We will have to be aware," Nathaniel answered.

"I don't want any sissy ass politician pickin' our girl to pieces," Oghren grumbled.

"I will not allow that to happen," Nathaniel answered fiercely, to which Oghren grunted.

"That's in Alistair's hands. I sure hope he does a better job of looking out for her than last time." and Oghren turned and left.

"He damned well better, or he will deal with me," Nathaniel vowed under his breath.

Nathaniel looked at her door, wanting to knock, wanting to check on her. Suppressing his urge to comfort her, he turned and left for the main hall.


	6. A Glass of Brandy

**Chapter 6: A Glass of Brandy**

A Glass of Brandy

Juliette sat down heavily in her chair and stared at the mounds of papers on top of her desk. Truly, it was a mess.

Reports, requests, bills for approval, order requisites, letters from locals asking for help with all manner of things. Her father had made this all look so easy, she thought. She pushed that thought aside and picked up her glass of brandy.

She didn't drink normally. Juliette and Delilah had snuck some wine from the cellars of Highever when they were about 14 and learned the hard way what over indulgence had meant. They had had such great fun until she had become sick and Delilah fell off a bench, knocking herself senseless. She could still recall the hangover, her mother's loud lecture and her father's choice of punishment. Juliette had been assigned to kitchen duty for a month, under her Nan's intense supervision.

Tonight however, she intended to let the brandy do its best to help her relax. Though as tightly wound as she was it seemed a bit unfair to the brandy.

The more she thought of the letter the angrier she became.

Alistair really had no right to make her do anything, she was a warden after all, and truly only had to answer to Weisshaupt. Juliette would go as a courtesy to the king of the land that was her "jurisdiction". She knew that Alistair understood this which made the tone even more annoying. Alistair didn't need to tell her, she would have come if he had asked.

He was acting very 'royal' and she was unsure why. But two could play pomp and circumstance so she had sent a messenger ahead to Denerim. Wade's Fine Armor had finished her ceremonial set and she would be picking it up in person. They would go there upon their arrival in the city.

Juliette walked over to her window and saw the day was drawing to an end.

Alistair was a brave fighter, hardened in battle, but he had been so easily manipulated immediately following the Landsmeet. It had caused the end of their relationship, her heart to break and her trust in him to evaporate. She was very unsure of what he would do once the full story was revealed.

The man she had loved would have understood her choice to spare The Architect.

It was The Architect's belief that the darkspawn could be liberated from their enslavement to the song of the old gods. Juliette's purpose was to end their existence and if The Architect could end their desire to taint then her need was met.

Now though, she and Alistair did not share the same purpose. His perception of things would be changed and that made her nervous.

She took a long drink from her glass, feeling the brandy snake through her throat and down into her belly.

Juliette remembered she had skipped dinner, so perhaps not so unfair to the brandy after all.

Smiling she began to feel a bit better and decided that she should finish the glass off. She tipped the glass up and made quick work of it.

"A little leg stretching can't hurt either." and she headed out of the office. She wanted to walk up to the ramparts and loose herself in the views.

Juliette took the small flight of stairs down a bit more quickly than normal. The end of the steps let out into the main hall and when she reached it she had to steady her hand on the opposite wall to slow her momentum.

She let out a little yelp and then giggled.

Juliette strode through the hall and opened the door that led to the long flight of steps to the top of the keep. She hurried through and soon arrived at the vantage point she had desired.

The sun was just nestling into the horizon to her west. Colors seemed to be everywhere. Shoots of vibrant pinks and oranges cast a glow on everything, making even the battle beaten walls of the Vigil look, well, less ugly. Juliette smiled to herself.

When she had been a girl, coming to the top walls of her father's castle had been one of her favorite things to do. Often her mother joined her and they would sit quietly together, listening as their world was tucked into its' bed.

Juliette had been so small then, naïve too. She remembered that she had felt no worry or fears, just the contentedness of a loved little girl. She missed them all so much some times.

She sat down on to the edge of the wall and swung her legs over either side. Straddling the wall she watched a torchbearer walking to each torch, lighting them one by one. She heard mothers calling their children in for the night, the last songs of the birds and watched as a few bats zipped above everyone else's heads.

Juliette rested her back against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Do you think it wise to pass out whilst you dangle above the Keep?"

Her eyes snapped open. Nathaniel was standing in the doorway.

"Hi Nathaniel," she replied, her smile relaxed."No, I expect it would be unwise to do so. I appreciate you pointing that out to me. What are you doing up here?"

"I saw your rather graceless entrance to the hall and thought it best if I check on my drunken commander, lest she pitch herself from the rooftop." he answered.

Juliette patted the stone next to her and then swung her right leg over the wall to put her knees together, making room for him to sit. She was now facing out and he settled next to her.

He seemed to fill the whole space of the cut out they were sitting in. When had his shoulders gotten so big? He was a hunk of muscle and she felt slight next to him.

"You have been climbing castle tops since you were tiny," Nathaniel said quietly. "Honestly, it's always made me nervous."

"I love the peace. No one seems to ever look up," she answered. "It's nice to blend in a bit."

"So why are you up here seeking peace?" he asked gently. "Surely you aren't concerned about Denerim."

She smiled at him and looked down. "I'm nervous, Nathaniel," she admitted."Really nervous," she repeated and fell silent.

"Juliette," Nathaniel said. "I asked. I can listen."

"You called me Juliette," she said in surprise. "You know," she said changing the subject, "that I used to come and sit in the battlements with my mother. I remember the last time you all came to Highever as a family, I sat up there waiting for any glimpse of your arrival."

"I don't think about that very often," Nathaniel replied quickly, and she could sense him withdrawing.

"Nathaniel, please understand me," she said earnestly, "I loved those visits."

"So what are you so nervous about?" he dodged the topic.

She sighed. "The King is a different man than when he was simply a Gray Warden. In many ways, he's changed completely," she explained, and rubbed her temples. "His letter was disconcerting. It started out personal and then he became very, well, kingly. I don't understand why."

"But he knows he can trust your judgment," he argued. "Did he not defer to you during the Blight, even though he was the more senior Warden?"

"Yes, but he didn't have advisors with their own agendas tugging on his ear then," she replied. "It was just us versus the end of everything. It tends to make people pull together," she quipped.

Nathaniel wondered if her choice in words didn't mean more than she intended. "So you think he may be upset with your agreement with The Architect," he prompted.

"Oh, who knows?" she leaned her head so that it rested on his shoulder. "I don't know him anymore. I just wish I had an idea of what I'm walking into."

She raised her head, sighed and dropped it against his shoulder again. "Nate, what will I do if he disagrees?" she asked, sounding younger than her years. "March into the Deep Roads and hunt the creature down? How can I justify risking wardens on a goose chase?" she finished.

Nathaniel heard her questions, but was fighting to control his urge to pull her closer. She was clearly scared and wanted his advice and all he wanted was to pull her in and feel her, smell her, protect her. He worked to regain his focus.

"I suppose that he could try to make us do that," he managed. "But it seems a foolish solution to me."

"Well then, we may be in trouble," she laughed humorlessly. "For Alistair can certainly be a fool."

He had known that the past she shared with the King was making this situation more uncomfortable for her, but the jab revealed the hurt she still clearly felt. "A fool for not making you his wife?" he asked softly.

Juliette raised her head and looked at him. The last of the sunlight formed shadows across his face, making his strong cheekbones and chin look more chiseled. She found herself wondering if his lips were as ridged as his features or if they would be soft. Her eyes widened at the thought.

"Where did that come from?" she said to herself and then turned red realizing she had said it out loud and seeing his confusion. "Sorry, I got uhm," she stammered as she recovered her train of thought. She took a deep breath and answered him, "Sounds as if you heard some things," she replied. "Mind if I ask what?"

"Oghren said that you and the King had been lovers," he said bluntly."And that he had ended it to take the crown."

"Oh," she said softly.

"Is that correct?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes and no," she answered and looked uneasy. "Yes, I loved him and for a time he loved me. I think it kept us both sane," she closed her eyes at the memories. "No, he didn't end it to get the crown; he already had it. Arl Eamon had Alistair worried about an heir and since it's hard for a warden, let alone two wardens to have a child, he asked me to leave; in front of our entire group."

Her answers matched what Oghren had already told him, but hearing it from her made it seem worse. "I'm sorry, Juliette," he said with sincerity.

"Well, what's a little humiliation between friends, right?" she quipped. "Anyway, after we defeated the Archdemon, I did just that. I marched in the big parade he had planned, waved at the crowds, and kept marching right onto Highever. I haven't spoken to him since, not really anyway."

"Didn't you see him when he came to the Vigil?" Nathaniel asked.

"Yes, but thankfully there were darkspawn strewn about and wounded to take care of," she answered. "I let him go on his way as soon as I could. It's one of the few times I can call the darkspawn helpful."

Nathaniel chuckled, but his face fell as a thought occurred to him. "Are you worried to see him; aside from the actual reason for our going?" _Please say no_, he thought.

"I suppose," she said. "I can't imagine it will be comfortable. But I've long since given up pining for him if that's what you meant."

_That's exactly what I meant,_ he thought with relief.

"He made a responsible decision; I just got caught in the crossfire, that's all," she defended as she began kicking her feet. "I wish he hadn't handled it so publicly but he wasn't wrong," she smiled, before adding, "Just an ass."

They fell into silence and stayed that way, her head on his shoulder and watched the last of the sunset and soon it was becoming quite dark.

"The sun is gone, Jules," he said gently against the top of her head. "Let's go inside and get you to bed," he told her. Slowly, Nathaniel slid backwards and dropped down before turning to reach for her.

She was amazed he used his nickname for her and distractedly placed her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her down with no obvious effort. When her toes gently reached the stone walk, neither one of them immediately released the other, her arms were still around his shoulders and his hands stayed on her hips. Looking up at him, she closed the gap, resting her cheek against his chest. "I have missed your friendship, Nathaniel," she said softly.

His arms cradled her for the briefest moment, before she felt him stiffen. He was silent for just another moment and then cleared his throat.

"You shall always have it, Commander." he answered awkwardly. He stepped away from her, and avoided her eyes.

Juliette was horrified. "Nathaniel, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to..." she felt so embarrassed at his reaction to her. She tried to smile but it faltered. "Yes, well, I appreciate your advice on the matter," she said politely.

"Shall I see you downstairs?" he asked courteously.

"No, no thank you. I'm fine," she waved a hand carelessly. Maker! He couldn't even look at her.

"Good night then, Commander," he stated and practically bolted through the doorway.

Juliette watched him disappear and leaned back against the wall, utterly humiliated. "Ugh!" she moaned and tapped her head against the stone wall a few times. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she said.

For the first time since he had returned to Vigil's Keep Nathaniel had been himself with her and what does she do? She _snuggles_ him! "Just after you admit to having slept with the King too!" she groaned. "Maker, what he must think of me?"

Juliette rested her cheek against the stone, feeling its moist coolness against her skin.

"Damn brandy!" she huffed and she left the battlement for the safety of her bed.


	7. The Night Before

The Night Before

The next day went very quickly for Juliette, as she and Varel finalized everything that they could, and she signed several post dated items for him. The cart of private goods, needed for the expected length of stay, had been packed and departed as well. Juliette and the men would carry what they needed to camp, and travel, in their collective packs. The day ended after what seemed an eternity, with the last of her personal correspondence, including a letter to Fergus, sent off with merchant carts.

Nathaniel, she noticed, was nowhere to be seen. Juliette sat at her desk, finishing things, and considered their talk last night. That he stayed away today, only made her more concerned about his reaction to their conversation. "Oh be honest, it was the HUG, not the chat," she muttered to herself.

"Pardon me, Commander, I did not hear what you said." said Varel.

Juliette's head snapped up. "Thank the Maker for that," she replied.

"Ma'am?" Varel was clearly confused.

"It's nothing, sorry, Varel. Just a stray thought," Juliette said dismissing it. "Have we finally reached the bottom of the pile?" she asked. "Nothing quite like a month of work in one day," Juliette threw down her quill, and rubbed her ink stained hand on her pant leg.

"Yes, Commander," answered the seneschal. "I believe that most everything is complete. I will handle the rest until you return."

"Varel," Juliette began, looking up at him, but still wiping her hand. "I hope you know that I value all that you do. The Vigil is a well run keep that we may all have pride in, and in no small part, because of you."

"Thank you, Commander," Varel said, gruffly. "You have proven yourself a very capable arlessa. I am most privileged to serve both you, and the Gray Wardens."

"Thank you," she rose from her desk , twisting her long auburn hair into a knot on her head. "Care for some dinner?"

"No my lady, I will finish organizing things in here," he replied. "I shall see you at first light," and Varel bent his head back down to reading a stack of requests.

"Good night, Varel," Juliette called as she left the office.

"Rest well, Commander."

Juliette closed her office door behind her, and headed to the main hall. Not much dinner was left on the sideboards, but that's what you get for eating late in a keep full of wardens.

She assembled a plate, and sat down on a bench in the near vacant hall. Those who passed by nodded or said hello, but for the most part she was able to eat in quiet. Juliette finished her food and pushed the plate aside. She felt antsy, and was unsure of what to do about it. Fidgeting for a few more minutes she decided what she needed was some exercise. She rose, and left the hall for the back of the keep, walking toward the training rooms.

The halls were mostly deserted and she made it to the area without much distraction. Normally, if one of the recruits knew their commander was training, it drew challengers and viewers alike, but blessedly, none spotted her tonight. Juliette really just wanted a chance to blow off some steam in private.

The training room was empty, and Juliette selected a heavy long sword from the racks. She began the routine taught to her so long ago by her father's head men-at-arms, Ser Roderick. She lunged and balanced, turned and parried and then Juliette picked up the pace. Adding one of the dummies to the exercise, she began to relax and have fun.

Juliette returned to the training rack, and replaced the long sword and picked up two daggers, intent on practicing her more intimate fighting. Using two small blades brought you much closer to your opponent, and so required real speed and control. Beginning a different routine and tighter stance, Juliette worked with the dummy, but much to her frustration, she kept catching her left foot in the wrong place.

"It's a basic sweep!" she said to herself. "Come on, this is ABC's!" Juliette again worked through the routine, and again hit the same snag. "Andraste's knickers!" she yelled in anger.

"Have you ever wondered what color they would have been? Pretty racy if they caught the attention of the Maker wouldn't you think?" Juliette spun around, and saw Anders sitting behind her in the gallery.

"Perhaps none at all, or" Juliette paused, grinning. "Maybe Orlesian?" she said adding a bad accent, causing Anders to laugh.

"How long have you been watching?" she smiled.

"Long enough to know that whatever that dummy did, it's very sorry," Anders said returning her grin.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and walked across the ring, replacing the daggers. She then walked over to Anders. "I've been doing too much paperwork, and sitting. That sweep is so basic and it's getting the better of me."

"Well, I suppose that's the point of practice then, isn't it?" he replied. "Besides, we are about to start another adventure so there will be far less sitting."

Juliette shook her head at him. "Anders, you always seem to say just what I want to hear."

"Yes well, it's a talent," Anders replied in earnest. "Helps get the girls, it can't all be my amazing hair and good looks."

She laughed, not because he was right, but because he was completely serious. "How was Amaranthine?" she asked.

"Good," he replied. "I stopped by the various shops, and stocked up on what we will need. I dropped off Nathaniel's note to his sister, though he could have done it himself," Anders said, his tone annoyed. "As he was in the city, anyway."

"He was?" she was surprised. "I thought that's where he was yesterday."

"He was, and I know that because she said they had lunch together," Anders confirmed. "Anyhow, I saw him he was coming from the Chantry."

"Huh," Juliette said and mulled that over. Spotting Anders exaggerated gestures, Juliette saw Anders buff a shiny stone ring against his robe.

"Got a new trinket?" she asked, knowing full well he had hoped she would ask.

"I did, how kind of you to notice! Albert just got it in for me," and he held his hand up so she could see.

"Lovely, really sets of your earring," she complimented as Anders preened.

"Say, have you seen Ser-Pounce-a-lot today? I want to make sure he's looked after while I'm gone."

"I think he was in the second level hall earlier," she smiled thinking of the poor cat Anders adored.

"Well that beautiful new kitchen girl, the one with the wonderful backend, has offered to check on him for me," Anders got to his feet. "I'd better go find him."

"Thank you for the update, Anders," Juliette said, watching him go."See you in the morning."

"Night, Commander," he called over his shoulder, and Anders left the training room.

Juliette looked around the empty room, and thought about trying the sweep once more but decided against it. She would wait until she could ask Nathaniel go through it with her. Putting the dummy back in its proper place, she extinguished the torches around the ring, and left. A few minutes later she was back in the main hall, cutting through to the staircase that led to her apartments at the top of the keep. Juliette took the stairs quickly, and arrived at her door a moment later.

She was pleased to find her bath had been readied for her, and she washed and dried off. Juliette put on her long nightgown, and brushed out her wet hair, dried it, and braided it for bed. Banking the coals in her fireplace, Juliette then went round and blew out the candles. Climbing into bed, she snuggled into the extra pillows, and fell into a deep sleep.

xXx

At that moment, Nathaniel was trying to do the same thing, but with no success.

He had been seated in the corner of the hall eating, when she had hurried through, and was glad she hadn't noticed him. Nathaniel had just finished his preparations for their trip, which had taken much longer due to his last minute trip to Amaranthine.

Nathaniel had gone to the Chantry to make his monthly tithe in his brothers' memory, since he would not be able to do so while away. It was something he had begun to do shortly after he had been conscripted, but hadn't shared it with anyone. The Revered Mother had agreed to keep it private, and he knew the area needed the money, so he had come to enjoy doing it.

Today though, after arriving and explaining his early donation, the Revered Mother had looked him straight in the eye, and ordered him to tell her his troubles.

"They are all over you face. No excuses, young man, come and sit with me," she ordered, and had walked off toward her office, forcing him to follow.

Nathaniel had no intention of sharing his feelings about anything but once she began asking he found himself answering. They talked at length about his family, and all that had transpired. Her lips pursed tightly, she eyed him, and offered her opinions on his current situation.

"Nate Howe, you have always been a good boy, and I will say you seem to be a good man," the old lady had offered. "Your father's crimes were his own, and while people may think poorly of the Howe name now, your generosity, and acts of bravery as a Warden will soon turn that around."

"Yes Revered Mother, thank you" was all Nathaniel had said. In truth, it felt good to hear this normally cranky older woman say so, even if she was wrong.

She quickly turned that satisfaction around when she continued, "As far as this other worry you carry, the one you won't name, or discuss, it seems to me that if she," and she raised a wrinkled hand to silence his protest, "holds the same opinion of you as I, then you are a blessed man." The Revered Mother raised and eyebrow and spoke again. "Which means of course, that if you persist in your current thinking, then you may find yourself missing something the Maker intended you to have," she slowly sat against her high backed chair. "That, quite frankly, would be stupid and ungrateful; neither of which I believe you to be" Waving her hand, she finished, "Now, off you go, there is much for me to do."

Dumbstruck, he had left the Chantry as quickly as he could.

Nathaniel wandered around Amaranthine for a short time, reflecting on the conversation they had shared. As kind as the Revered Mother had been in her opinion of him, Nathaniel believed it naïve to think anything would truly change. For reality was, no matter who he was, or what he did, people would remember his father first. Nathaniel could not outpace his dead father's shadow, and it was selfish and unkind to hope Juliette to join him under it. He would never hurt her, and to ever consider perusing his feelings, well, it was simply not something he would do.

So, as he had watched her stride through the hall that night, Nathaniel had not seen that she was covered in sweat. He did not notice that her skin was flushed, or that her doeskin pants were adhering to her every curve, clinging against the moisture on her skin. He had not wondered what her skin would taste like.

He most certainly was not lying in his bed, wondering if her day had gone well, or if she was feeling better about their upcoming journey. Nathaniel did not think about how good she had felt when she had pulled herself into him the night before, or how his body had responded. He definitely did not think on how much he had enjoyed talking with her, and having her confide in him. He did not think about how good it had felt to hear her say she missed him. No, he lay in his bed, and did no thinking whatsoever.

Nathaniel Howe resolved that he would continue to do more no thinking.

He didn't sleep a wink.


	8. Heading Out

Heading Out

It was a dismal morning. A heavy fog enveloped the keep, making the crisp morning temperature bone chilling.

Juliette met up with Anders and Oghren outside the keeps main gate. All three had packs slung over their shoulders, Oghren's almost sweeping the ground.

"Good morning! Ready to begin?" she asked as cheerily as she could.

"By the stone, I forget how blasted cold it gets on the surface!" Oghren said slapping his arms.

"I suppose growing up playing by the beautiful river of LAVA would spoil one a bit," Anders said. Taking an exaggerated sniff through his nose, he said, "Ahhh, quite nothing like the smell of brimstone, and sulfur, to get the blood pumping!"

"Sorry Anders, but even you have to admit its cold this morning," said Juliette, smiling at them both. "Least it's only fog, and not snow. I expect they shall see the first snows before we return."

"I think you are correct," Juliette turned to see Nathaniel approaching, holding the halters of two chestnut quarter horses. "I took the liberty of preparing your horse, Commander," he said, holding out the reins of the mare.

"Good morning, and thank you," she said, as accepted the reins of the horse she knew as Jasmine. She pulled Jasmine's muzzle down to her, and stroked her large cheek. "Hello sweet lady, ready for some exercise?"

"Commander, do we have to ride to Denerim?" asked Oghren. "I mean, it's a bit of like asking you to ride on the back of a drake, you know?"

"Oghren, I realize it's not easy for you and I am sorry" Juliette replied. "But the King was rather clear that he means to see me sooner, rather than later, and walking would add at least 10 more days to our trip." Juliette absently patted Jasmine's flank, then began tying her pack over the back of the saddle, "However, the stable master is aware of your size concerns," she continued, from over her shoulder, "and has promised me a solution."

"Come on dwarf, let's go saddle up then," Anders said, and he and Oghren headed down the hill.

Nathaniel and Juliette were left standing together in awkward silence, Juliette broke it first. "Anders said he saw you in Amaranthine yesterday, I hope that all is well?"

Nathaniel's eye went large, and his cheeks flushed pink, but he made no response.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I just was.." Juliette fumbled with her words, and she kicked absently at a clod of dirt to cover her embarrassment.

"Everything is fine, thank you," Nathaniel answered crisply.

Juliette shifted uncomfortably. She walked around her horse again, and checked her pack. She checked her saddle and the halter, fidgeted with straps.

Nathaniel knew that she was unsure of herself around him and he was only making this worse for her with his tone. It would be easier for him if he used that to keep his distance, but seeing her so uncomfortable was making it harder than he thought.

"Perhaps we should go down?" he asked, and she nodded her agreement. Nathaniel cupped his hands together at her horses' side, and she deftly placed the toe of her boot in, rising up to swing her leg over. He handed her the reins.

"Thank you, Nathaniel," Juliette said, though she did not meeting his eyes completely.

"Commander," he replied and he walked over to his own mount, gracefully settling himself into the saddle.

Juliette led her horse in a turn, and headed down the hill.

Nathaniel gathered the reins, watching her go, "I'm sorry Jules. Damn it, it's for your own good." he muttered before tapping the flanks of his horse lightly. He arrived at the stables and found an odd scene unfolding before him.

"I'm telling you, I'm not sitting on that damn horse!" Oghren bellowed, clearly worked up.

"Oghren, we have little choice here," answered Juliette. She turned back to face the stable master and laced her fingers together, pleading, "Horace, is there NOTHING else available? Oghren is uh, unsure of your selection."

"I'm not unsure!" Oghren snapped. "I'm sodding positive that I ain't getting onto that monster animal!"

Juliette turned to Oghren. "Oh will you stop it? We will figure this out!"

"Maybe they have a goat you could ride instead?" said Anders snickering.

"Anders, by the Maker, you will both WALK if you don't stop egging him on!" said Juliette, her voice become louder. "The two of you are about as adult as a 3 year old! Shut UP!" she scolded. "Horace, if you please, are there any more options?" Juliette asked the stable master again.

"Actually, Anders goat comment gave me an idea," the stable master said, but did not elaborate.

"Which would be…"Nathaniel prompted.

"Well, I do have a half breed," the older man said sheepishly. "It's a whole lot smaller than a horse, which I think he'd like, but she's stupid as a stone, and not near as fast."

"A donkey? An ass on an ass! Perfect!" Anders roared with laughter. Oghren walked towards Anders with the clear intent to knock him flat.

Nathaniel stepped in his path, "Oghren, not the time."

"Man skirt wearing sissy!" Oghren yelled at Anders from around Nathaniel. "I oughta put your teeth down your throat!

Juliette sighed loudly, "Are you boys through?" she snapped, pinning each man with a scathing glare.

Oghren and Anders both looked sullen, Anders kicked a rock.

"Boys?" she asked again.

"Yes Commander." said Oghren, looking down, properly contrite.

"Fine, I'm done."Anders said. Nathaniel pinned him with a look. "Sorry, Commander."

Juliette turned to the stable master. "Horace, please get the animal so Oghren may see it."

"Yes ma'am," Horace replied, and he hurried away from the group. In a few minutes, he returned leading the donkey through the corral. "This is Honeydew," he said.

Even Juliette was having a hard time with this one. Anders lost all control, and Nathaniel even began to laugh, but Oghren was nodding his head.

"Now that's something I can handle," the dwarf said, nodding his head. "Not as tall, and spindly legs either," Oghren said in admiration. "We weren't plannin' on galloping to Denerim, uh, were we Commander?"

"No, I think that we can avoid that," Juliette replied. "Are you sure? A donkey is a bit more ornery than a horse," Juliette advised.

"I'm a bit ornery too, so I think we'll understand each other."Oghren said, taking the bridle from Horace. "Ah, can I call her Branka? I always liked riding her a"

Juliette quickly interrupted, "Call her whatever you like!" she said. "Are we set then?"

Oghren agreed and they all mounted their steeds. Juliette took point and they all headed down the mountain. A few miles later, they reached the main road, and Oghren and Anders began arguing about some mundane thing. The group fell into a moderate pace, and Juliette began to enjoy her surroundings.

When she had arrived at the Vigil, it had been after nightfall, and then she had been busy fighting darkspawn. Juliette had been escorted from Highever by Mhairi, a warden recruit that ultimately did not survive her joining. Because of this, she hadn't traveled the main road between Amaranthine and Denerim before, and the beautiful landscape captured her attention.

The steep hills would break, revealing smooth farmland. The last harvests had recently been brought in, and the landscape was a mix of tilled soil and tall grasses, stiff from the morning frost. Soaring trees edged the road, and fields, were vibrant in oranges and reds. Juliette was warmed by the sun, just reaching the middle of the sky, as it burned off the last of the foggy mist.

Juliette looked back over her shoulder. Oghren and Anders were riding next to each other, swapping dirty limericks. Left to their own devices, Juliette believed that they liked one another, perhaps enough to call it a friendship. She knew that if this was ever pointed out, though, that they would spend the rest of their time convincing you that the other was an oaf, or a pansy. Smiling, she laughed quietly at the unlikely pair.

Trailing behind them was Nathaniel. He was a skilled horseman and looked at ease. In the sunlight, his hair managed to look even darker, which Juliette found fascinating. Even when he had been very young, he had the blackest hair. Delilah's hair was a rich brown color, Thomas's had been too, but Nathaniel's hair was so black it was almost blue sometimes. When he was upset his eyes could look almost as dark. Nathaniel had become a very handsome man, more so, Juliette thought, because of his nature.

Juliette considered the night on the battlement. She had to admit, it had felt good to be in his arms. She had felt safe, and she had enjoyed the brief embrace, and her response was more than just nostalgia. For a moment she had wanted him to kiss her, perhaps wanted even more. Juliette was beginning to realize that her feelings for Nathaniel were more complicated than she had understood.

She missed having his confidence. It troubled her deeply that after so much time, the events of little over a year ago still seemed to fully occupy his mind. Nathaniel seemed to have the weight of shame around him, unfounded, she would have said, but she didn't know how to tell him that. Right now, as far as she knew, Nathaniel wanted as little to do with her as possible.

The thing that she feared most, was that the man, who had been an important part of her life as long as she could recall, the one friend who had survived the civil war, and Blight, still blamed her for his situation. They had never actually spoken of what she had done, of her part in what had happened to the Howe family. They had talked about what Rendon Howe had done to her family, and he had apologized for being so harsh with her, but nothing more. It ate at her, the idea that her Nate, whom she had loved as a friend since she could walk, would not understand what had happened.

Stopping Rendon Howe had been a promise made to her father, as his blood poured onto their larder floor. It had pooled at Juliette's feet, seeping into her leather boots when she had sobbed and begged him to come with her, as she had pleaded with her mother to go. And then Duncan had dragged Juliette out the hidden passage, leaving her parents to their deaths, her father's blood still smeared across her. In those six days of blindly following Duncan to Ostagar, her father's blood had dried and caked into the soles of her boots.

Juliette did not regret killing Arl Howe. In the end it had been self defense, a terrible battle in his depraved private dungeon. Defeated, he had lain on the floor, and railed at her, cursing her family, spewing hate, and screaming he wanted to cut her down with his last ragged breath.

There was no force on Thedas that could make her tell Nathaniel about those moments.

All things considered, perhaps she was being silly to hope that things would be remotely normal between them. What had happened to their families was horrible by anyone's measure, but the fact that it had happened, that they had each lost so very much, made her cling even more to the idea that she and Nathaniel could fix it.

Fergus had been beyond furious with her, when he had discovered she had conscripted Nathaniel. He had yelled, and then bossed, and finally pleaded with her to be rid of Nathaniel, but she had refused. He had called her a fool, told her that Nathaniel Howe was his fathers' son; he just hadn't proven it to anyone yet. Juliette had argued just as passionately that Fergus was wrong about Nathaniel, that she knew he was nothing like the Arl.

Fergus had stared at her until he finally said, "I hope you're right, baby sister, for you may wake to find him cutting your throat."

They had never spoken of it since. The one time that Fergus had been to Vigil's Keep, he had very blatantly ignored Nathaniel. Nathaniel had taken the hint, and had spent the rest of the visit away from the keep, and Juliette had been very angry with Fergus. The fight that followed, ended with Fergus's early return to Highever.

"Commander! My ass hurts!" yelled Oghren.

"Loosen the reins!" she yelled over her shoulder. Anders laughed.

"Real cute!" replied Oghren."Hardy har har!" he sneered. "I meant my derrière! My buns, my back door, my poop shoot, you know my ASS!"

This time it was Juliette that fell into laughter and she stopped her horse while the others grouped together. They all agreed that a rest was necessary, having been on their horses (and asses) for over five hours. Nathaniel said he knew of a clearing a bit further ahead that was vacant land.

Shortly, they found the area that he had mentioned.

"It's got a fire pit now, that's a new addition," he noted as they rode in. "There's a stream over at the tree line," Nathaniel pointed to a cluster of saplings about one hundred feet away.

The group stopped and began to dismount. Nathaniel made it to the side of Juliette's mount before she could swing her leg over, and he lifted her down but moved quickly away. Juliette offered her thanks and he merely inclined his head.

"Here," Juliette said, needing a distraction. "Let me lead them to the creek," and she took the reins from Nathaniel and Anders. She returned after a few minutes, and took the donkey, noting the men had been successful in starting a fire. When she came back, she staked the animals in the greener grass, and approached the circle around the pit. Nathaniel had begun unloading the food pack and withdrew his dagger, parceling out chunks of cheese and dried jerky. Each having a small amount to eat, they all settled onto the ground, Nathaniel sitting away from Juliette.

"How much further until we stop for the night?" asked Oghren, breaking the silence.

"There should be another four hours or so, of daylight," answered Nathaniel. "We should stop shortly before then to set up camp. Oghren we will need to increase our pace a bit due to the shorter days, I think that your beast can handle it."

Everyone looked up at the jolting whiney of Nathaniel's horse, who was stamping his feet and jerking on his stake, clearly wanting to be closer to his mate, Jasmine.

"Oh! I'm sorry boy!" Juliette jumped up and began to go over to him.

"No, stop!"Nathaniel ordered, coming to his feet and taking her arm, as his eyes searched their surroundings. "He's afraid, see?" the horse's nostrils flared, and he tossed his head. "He smells something." He pulled against him, drawing his dirk, as he warned, "Prepare yourselves!"

Instantly, several large wolves broke through the tree line, charging them in a group. Juliette drew her long sword from her pack that lay at her feet, and moved forward, Nathaniel on her left, and Oghren on her right.

The leader of the pack was monstrous.

Oghren advanced, arcing his battleaxe, clipping a wolf, and stopped its advance. From the corner of her eye, she saw the gathering of colored light as Anders channeled his magic. Two of the wolves were blasted, and thrown back by his spell, allowing Juliette and Nathaniel to separate, and attack each animal with ease. Oghren bellowed a war cry, and swung his axe again, severing the head of another one.

Juliette heard a wolf from behind her and spun in time, the animal impaling itself upon her sword. She sliced its throat with her dagger, before yanking her sword from its body. More colored light and chants, and Anders' efforts left her feeling renewed, and she lunged at another creature.

Nathaniel threw off the feral attack of a wolf he had cornered, plunging both of his daggers in its back as it went past. The sounds of fighting seemed to be slowing and Nathaniel rapidly assessed the scene. Cold spread through his belly as he saw the pack leader had circled around the group, and was charging.

Juliette pulled her sword from the shoulder of a wolf, as the enormous beast leapt for her, but she couldn't turn in time to prepare for his lunge. She was knocked back, and slammed into the ground, hitting her head with such force that Juliette couldn't focus, but she knew he would tear her to pieces. Juliette screwed her eyes, desperate to see, waiting to feel the animals teeth tear into her. Suddenly, it was over, the snarling ceased with a horrible whine, and her men were yelling.

As her vision cleared, what she saw had her terrified. The horrendous weight on her had not been the wolf at all, but Nathaniel. He had leapt on top of her, covering her with his large body, taking the bites and shredding tears to his own shoulders, back, and arms.

Blood was streaming down the collar of his leathers, dripping steadily all over her face. He was still braced above her, his elbows on either side of her head, but clearly in intense pain. She strained to get her arms pulled from under his weight, and he shifted slightly to allow her movement, his breath shuddering as he did. Juliette pushed his hair away from his face, and caressed his face, stroking his cheek.

"Nate, hold on," his eyes opened slowly and focused on hers. "ANDERS!" she screamed, her eyes never leaving his.

"Are you hurt?" he managed.

"The blood is yours, Nate," she whispered. "ANDERS!" Juliette yelled again. Frantically, she searched Nate's neck with her fingers as his eyes fluttered shut. "Nate?" he didn't answer. "No, no, no! Maker, please be alright" she begged, petting his face.

"ANDERS PLEASE HELP HIM!" she screamed, her voice cracking in utter despair.

She heard Anders and Oghren reach them, "I'm here Juliette!" 'Anders answered, as he slid across the grass and dirt.

"Let me lift him off of her!" she heard Oghren say.

"NO!" she and Anders cried in unison. "I need to see his wounds on his back first; the beast may have hurt his spine," Anders continued.

Juliette's chin began to quiver at that thought, tears stinging her eyes. She felt his throat again, and then heard him whisper, "Don't cry, Jules." He was still awake. Light began glowing bright above them, Anders already at his work.

"Nate, I'm so sorry," Juliette whispered desperately. "I should have seen the wolf. I should have been ready," she said as the tears spilled over. "It's my fault!"

He lowered his head down, grimacing, and he rested his forehead against hers. "I would never let you be hurt," he said so softly she almost couldn't hear him.

"Nate, you think I would have you hurt instead of me?" she answered, as her hand stroked his hair. "Nate?" she said, as his full weight sank against her. "Nate!"

"I cast sleep on him Commander," Anders informed her, sensing her panic. "He's alright, really. I believe it is safe to move him off of you now, but it would have been too painful without the spell," he explained.

"Don't move him," Juliette ordered. "Oghren, just grab an arm, or a leg, or something, and drag me out from under him, okay?" Oghren did just that.

Juliette sat up as soon as she was free. The huge wolf that had tried to kill her lay a few feet away, sliced almost in half by Oghren's battleaxe. She looked at Nate's back; his leathers punctured and shredded, the skin under it nearly as bad, and shivered. Nathaniel had saved her, but his wounds looked nearly fatal.

Anders finished his work on Nathaniel's back, and was ready to work on his shoulder wounds, so she held his head in her lap, stroking his face while Anders staff glowed, and Nathaniel's skin pulled together. Soon, he was no longer bleeding.

"The danger is over now," Anders told her. "I think we can carry him over to the fire." Oghren and Anders lifted him with extreme care and Juliette ran ahead to unroll his bed roll. They laid Nathaniel down gently, "We will need to camp here tonight, Commander. He lost a lot of blood and will need to rest."

Juliette nodded, still worried. "Whatever you think best, Anders."

"Come on mage. Let's see if we can't find some more wood, and make ready for dusk," Oghren said, before turning to Juliette. "Don't worry Commander, the boy will be just fine, he's made of stern stuff."

The two men left the clearing in search of supplies, Anders complaining about the state of his robes. Juliette prepared the camp area for nightfall, and hovered over Nathaniel while they were gone. Anders sleep spell had been a strong one.

"I don't think he will wake for hours yet, perhaps not until morning." Anders said, when he returned.

She made sure that he was comfortable and then they prepared to settle for the night.

Anders and Oghren both put up their tents, Oghren offering to help Juliette with her own.

"No, thank you," she politely declined. "I'm going to sit with Nathaniel tonight. I will put my bedroll on the other side of the fire."

"I'll sit up with the boy, Commander, you don't need to," the dwarf had offered.

"He's injured because of my mistake," she shook her head. "No, I will look after him," Juliette said, closing the matter.

A few hours later, after dark had fallen, and a meager supper, Nathaniel was still sleeping heavily. Anders and Oghren went to their tents, bidding her good night. Juliette checked the horses, and donkey, moved their stakes to fresher grass, and then raked the coals of the fire for morning.

Juliette paced the camp a bit, and finally stripped off her armor and boots, and took down her hair. She washed her face, and laid her sword where her roll was, before she checked Nathaniel again, and finally settled down to sleep.


	9. A Moment

A Moment

Juliette awoke only a few hours later. Looking at the night sky, she estimated it was still several hours to dawn.

She quietly got to her feet, and pulled on her boots. Shivering she pulled a blanket from her roll, and wrapped herself into it. Juliette went to Nathaniel's side and checked his pulse and breathing. He seemed to be sleeping well, and his color was better. Now that she was no longer afraid for him, she realized how filthy he had become.

Returning to her side of the fire, Juliette pulled a thick linen rag out of her pack. She poured some water from the bucket and into a shallow cooking pan, and placed it on the coals. A few minutes later, she tested it with a finger. She used the rag to lift the pan from the coals, and settled next to Nathaniel.

Blood matted his hair. His shirt was little more than shreds of material held together with mud and blood, his face just as covered. Juliette pulled at the seams of the shirt, and it gave way easily. She tugged hard to pull it out from under him, Nathaniel's sleep undisturbed.

Even in the filth, his muscular chest and belly were impressive, to say the least. "Oh my," she whispered, biting her lip in hesitation.

Juliette quickly resolved that she would not to notice. This man was her friend. This man had saved her life. The least she could do was clean him up without ogling his body. She dipped the rag into the pan and wrung it out.

She began with his face, gently wiping his brow and cheeks, and again, she noticed how handsome he had become. Wiping slowly, Juliette worked her way to his neck, pausing to rinse the rag. By the time she finished, the water in the pan was turning red.

Juliette dumped the water, and warmed fresh, returning to his side a few minutes later.

She pulled the blankets back from his chest, and settled them by his waist. Taking a heavy breath, she soaked the rag, and twisted it, wringing out the excess water. Carefully, lest she tear any of Anders delicate work, she washed his broad chest. The worst of the dirt and mud were on the left side of his chest and she leaned over him, carefully lifting his arm away from his side, and washed his flank.

He had dark hair, not everywhere, but a dusting on his chest and a trail that ran down his trim and contoured belly, disappearing under the blankets.

Juliette sat back on her haunches and rinsed the cloth again. She passed it over his right side, and could not help but notice that his nipple became erect. She held her breath, and ran her fingers gently over him again, watching as it become more taunt.

Nathaniel inhaled sharply, and her eyes flew to his, and saw he was watching her through lowered lashes. He lifted his head slightly.

"Nate?" she leaned over him, her chest against his, and whispered close to his ear, "You're safe. Anders healed you, everything is alright."

He didn't answer her but gave a miniscule nod. His eyes closed and he seemed to sleep again.

Juliette pulled the blankets up and over him, tucking him in. She made sure his roll was soft under his head. Smiling tenderly, she ran her fingers through his black hair and leaned across his sleeping form.

"Thank you, Nate," she whispered, touching his cheek one last time before she stood. She quietly emptied the pan, and laid the rag on a log to dry. A moment later, she was tucked into her bedroll.

Nathaniel let her think he was asleep. Her touch on his skin had been almost more than he could bear, the temptation to touch her extraordinary. It had been like a dream; waking to find the woman he wanted more than anything, washing his naked belly.

He had seen the way she bit her lip, how her hand slowed a little, touching his chest. Had she been thinking of him as well? Nathaniel wasn't sure, but the idea left him hard and throbbing. He closed his eyes tightly, and tried to redirect his mind. It took him several minutes, but he turned his head to look at her, softly sleeping, with the glow of the coals casting a hue on her. She was beautiful.

Maker, he could not allow himself to love her on top of everything else.

"You're welcome, Jules," he whispered, and tried to fall asleep.


	10. On the Road Again

On the Road Again chapter 10

Juliette was up before the men, disappearing behind the tree line to attend to her morning routine, if you could call peeing on a bush, and splashing your puffy face with ice cold creek water, a routine. She refilled the camps water bucket while she was there, as she had used it all the night before washing Nathaniel.

When she returned to the camp, it was to see that Oghren was stoking the fire, and Anders was sitting by Nathaniel, checking his work.

"I really am good. Honestly, I am an absolute genius," Anders praised himself, as he scanned Nathaniel's side and back. "I don't even think there will be bad scars."

"Too bad boy, a good scar gets the bad girls all worked up," offered Oghren. "Guess you'll have to impress them with your fancy girl fighting moves. He he he."

Nathaniel watched Juliette return and she wondered if he recalled any of last night. Considering the dreams it had inspired for her, she rather hoped not. She placed the water bucket by the rock ring and asked him how he was feeling.

"I'm well, Commander. Thank you," was all he offered.

"When you are well enough, Nathaniel," she began, "we will speak about your decision to place yourself in such danger," Juliette finished, her tone harsher than she intended.

"I'm well enough now," Nathaniel answered, fixing her with a look that said nothing short of _I dare you_.

"In private, then," and she pointed to the tree line.

Nathaniel got slowly to his feet, and pulled a fresh tunic out of his bag. He tugged it over his head, and followed her path out of the clearing towards the creek.

Juliette had sat on a fallen tree, her feet dangling. She looked up when he was a few feet away, "What in Andraste's name were you thinking?" she said quietly.

Nathaniel was caught off guard by her tone. He had expected to be scolded and lectured, instead saw genuine upset in her eyes. The bluster went out of him, "I was not about to let that thing maul you," he came to sit next to her. "It was instinct."

"Unacceptable," she shook her head. "Nate, you are not to do anything like that again," Juliette said, using her Commander's voice. "I won't have you taking such risks."

"Not to do anything like that again? You do realize that I saved your life?" his voice becoming hard. "That monster was as big as I, and I tower over you," Nathaniel rose, proving his point. "I could not allow him to get to you. He would have had your throat out before anyone could have stopped him!"

"You are no more expendable and I am!" Juliette rose, looking up at him. "You can't kill yourself looking after me!"

"You've got that all wrong! I am completely expendable!" Nathaniel argued. "The people of Ferelden don't need me- they need YOU!" he looked away from her. "My father brought misery to this land; I will not have your loss bring more."

She raised her chin, her eyes narrowing. "No Nate! You are NOT expendable!" she jabbed him with her finger in the chest, his eyes snapping back to hers. "I have lost all that I am going to lose! I cannot face the idea of you dying out of some distorted sense of guilt, or dying at all for that matter!" Juliette said, emotion betraying her. "Don't you get it? You and Fergus are all I have!" she whispered to him.

Nathaniel felt a jolt go through him, he couldn't believe what she was saying. He just stared at her.

"I'm done discussing this, Nathaniel Howe, DONE," she said, asserting herself again. "You will not pull a stunt like that again, EVER." and he watched as she stomped away from the creek, heading to their camp.

What had just happened? He sank onto the log and played the conversation again in his mind.

Juliette was clearly very angry with him, which in Nathaniel's opinion, was completely insane. He had saved her life for Maker's sake! The beast would have had her dead and gone before any of them could have reacted.

"Yet she's MAD at me? Are all women this mad?" He got to his feet and thought it through again. He was having a very difficult time not becoming incensed with her, "She never even said thank you!" he huffed. Nathaniel left the creek just as angry as she had.

Back at the camp, she was stomping around, gathering their things, flinging them into packs. Oghren and Anders smartly stayed quiet.

Nathaniel returned a few minutes later simmering with anger. He too began packing. Oghren and Anders looked at each other and again came to the same silent agreement, staying quiet seemed best.

Anger being a sure motivator, very soon, the camp was broken down and the animals readied. Juliette approached her mount, and Nathaniel helped her saddle. She snarled out a 'thank you', he bit out a 'you're welcome'. Nathaniel mounted his own horse and without saying anything else said took point, heading down the road.

Anders and Oghren watched Juliette's eyes narrow at his power play, and started her horse after him.

Anders pulled himself into his saddle, and turned to Oghren who was bumbling with his own. "You think they know how bad they've got it for each other?" he asked.

"Wish they'd just get it over with. Never saw two people who needed to bang each other to get their own sense back, more than those two." Oghren replied.

"Well said, dwarf" Anders said, nodding."Although, they are kind of cute like this."

"You really are a pansy, mage."

"Eat nug dung, dwarf."


	11. Denerim

Denerim chapter 11

Five days later, they arrived at the gates of Ferelden's capital without further incident, and without Juliette and Nathaniel speaking more than four words a day to one another.

Gazing at the city from the last hilltop Oghren offered his opinion, "Looks a lot better without the fire, and dead bodies all over."

"It seems the rebuilding efforts are going well," Juliette agreed. "Alistair should be pleased." Juliette noticed the mason work along the eastern wall. Her own Master Mason would not be impressed, she knew, but it would do for humans.

They accessed the city at the market and she met with Wade. He was, of course, very satisfied with his work. "Of course it's just light armor but, look at the dragon bone rivets and the heartstring used to overlay the pieces," Wade said proudly. "Truly, it befits the Hero of Ferelden!"

Juliette had to agree that the armor was more than well made; it was a work of art. Wade had had it enchanted, and even Anders was satisfied. "Normally I wouldn't trust you to another mages wards, but these are masterfully done."

The leather gleamed from its oil, and the fit was perfect. There were extensive engravings all over the leather, and she realized that Wade had embossed a crest on the leather pieces that would lie between her breasts. "Wade, is this the Highever crest?" she asked, tracing her fingers over it. "And you've woven a griffon into it?"

"We asked permission of your brother, the Teyrn, first. It's a bit of a thank you for, well you know, everything." said Herren cautiously. "Do you like it?"

"Of course she does! I'm an artist!" cried Wade.

Juliette smiled sincerely at both men, stroking the crest. "It's absolutely perfect. Perfect. Thank you very much, both of you." Even Wade was moved by her happiness.

They settled her account and headed to Brother Genitivi's home. He was happy to see Juliette and had received her message well in advance.

"I had expected you a day or so ago," he had said. He had prepared a midday meal, and after visiting for a bit, the Wardens excused themselves to dress for their formal arrival at the palace. Their private baggage should long since have been delivered, making it clear to the Court they were coming. Still, Juliette had wanted to arrive as the Warden Commander, Hero of Ferelden, dressed in her ceremonial armor. Brother Genitivi had always been kind about his open door policy, and she had used it to her advantage today.

Juliette exited the back room of the home and the men of her party looked up.

"Lookin good, Commander!" said Anders.

"That dolt won't know what hit him!" offered Oghren.

The leather armor hugged every part of Juliette's body that should be hugged. Her breasts were lifted, and the reinforced bodice of it flared, showing off her slender waist. The shorter skirt made her legs look longer than they already were, and the fitted boots laced up to the tops of her knees, shaping her calves. Juliette looked beautiful, powerful, and very much the Commander of the Gray.

"You look perfect," said Nathaniel, swallowing hard and forgetting, for just a moment, that they weren't speaking to each other.

Juliette smiled at them all, "Thank you," she said, blushing. "I want to remind all those politicians who they are dealing with."

"The message seems clear to me!" said Anders.

They arrived at the palace gates a half hour later. The high ceilings were filled with afternoon light, and crowds of courtiers were milling about the elaborate main hall. The silence left in their wake as the Wardens walked to the King's offices was deafening.

"I'm guessin' they've noticed you're here ma'am," Oghren laughed loudly.

"Good," Juliette answered smirking.

They continued down the open corridors, people clearing their path, until they reached the outer salon of the Kings chambers. Here, both they and Arl Eamon arrived almost simultaneously, he from an opposite hall.

"Warden Commander Cousland! What a great privilege and honor!" said Eamon smiling, he approached her and took her hands his. "We had hoped to see you soon. I trust your journey was a quiet one."

"Thank you for your welcome, Arl. We have arrived safely," Juliette smiled genuinely." How is your family?" she asked.

"Connor is adjusting to the Circle as well as can be expected, all things considered," Eamon said, a bit of sadness in his eyes."We miss him. His letters are becoming more content though, and the First Enchanter is pleased with him."

"You must be very proud, you and Isolde," Juliette said kindly. "Connor is a wonderful child, and so brave." Eamon beamed at Juliette's praise, and she then asked, "Is Isolde at court?"

Eamon began his answer, but the tall man who had been standing to his right loudly cleared his throat.

Juliette and Eamon both turned to look at him, and she saw that he was not only very tall, but equally skinny. He was older, and had greasy hair that could be called blonde, but it was so heavily oiled it was hard to tell. His clothes were of very high quality, but heavily trimmed with ribbons and piping, causing chaos, she didn't know what to look at first. He had rings adorning most of his fingers. His eyes were small and recessed, making his long and bent nose more pronounced. He looked like an underfed peacock.

Arl Eamon shook his head. "Warden Commander, allow me to introduce to you Bann Orlan Reign. He was a councilor to our last king and queen and has been assisting the new government."

"A pleasure, my lady Commander. You've had the court waiting with baited breath since it became clear you would be arriving soon," he bowed slightly in greeting.

"Thank you, Bann Orlan, I have looked forward to our arrival as well," she replied. She turned to face Eamon again but noticed that Nathaniel had a dark look on his face. He was watching the Bann.

"I hope that the king has been made aware of our arrival?"Juliette asked, as her eyes left Nathaniel's face and returned to Eamon's.

Bann Orlan spoke before Eamon, "The king is a very busy man, Commander," he said airily."He will see you as soon as he can, but it may not be today."

"Or it could be right now, Orlan." Juliette turned to the very familiar voice behind her.

Alistair strode across the salon and smiled at her, "Wow. Hello. You look amazing." he said as he pulled her into a quick hug.

Juliette smiled in return, amazed he had said that out loud, and that he was hugging her, in front of everyone. Over his shoulder she saw Nathaniel look away, and Oghren frown. Oddly Bann Orlan seemed pleased.

As quickly as Alistair had pulled her in though, he just as quickly registered his behavior was causing a stir, and he instantly broke contact, and stepped back a few steps.

"Welcome, Warden Commander," Alistair said, clearing his throat. "I hope your travels were safe?" Alistair asked more formally.

"They were thank you, your majesty." The contact being broken she dropped into a perfect curtsy, "I received your summons and departed as soon as I could secure the arling." Juliette said stiffly.

Alistair was taken aback. "You mean my letter, it wasn't a summons," he said quietly, so only she could hear.

"If you like, your majesty. Your letter." she conceded still holding his gaze.

"We have heard some troubling things about this talking darkspawn and require more information," interrupted Bann Orlan .

Juliette raised an eyebrow and turned to answer him, "I am happy to answer any questions the king may have, of course, though my reports have left out no detail," she answered.

"I find that surprising, Warden Commander," Orlan said the contempt clear in his voice.

Nathaniel and Oghren both took a step forward, offended on her behalf, but Juliette made a small motion with her hand.

"Bann Reign!" Alistair barked before things escalated. Juliette was incensed and stared at the man, he met her look with a glare. "Bann Reign, you have matters to attend to, I'm sure," Alistair said in dismissal. The Bann gave a deep bow to the King, and exited with a flounce.

"I think I will speak with the Commander alone," Alistair said to Eamon. "Would you please see that her men are shown to their rooms, they should be allowed to settle in to rest. And I'm sure they are hungry."

"Yes, of course, your majesty," Eamon promised. "Come, this way Wardens, won't you please?" and Eamon turned to leave.

Juliette glanced back at Nathaniel and nodded curtly. His eyes held hers for a moment, making her sure that he understood that she was placing him in charge.

Alistair raised his forearm inviting her to walk with him, "Let's have a chat, shall we Juliette?"

She placed her hand on his arm and he led her out of the salon.


	12. Politics

Politics

"I am sorry for that, Juliette," Alistair began, as they stepped onto a gravel path, he had led her outside to a small garden enclosure.

"Who is he?" she asked, walking at his side.

"Bann Orlan Reign is a throw back from Maric's days. He's got a finger in every pie in Ferelden," he answered. "Which is why he seems to be able transition from government to government," Alistair explained.

They walked to a fountain and stopped. It was a beautiful spot.

"When I first was crowned, he readily committed himself to me, but so did all the others, so that doesn't say much," Alistair said watching the fountain. "Once Eamon and I understood how intertwined he seemed to be with everything, we thought it prudent to limit his activities. Many people owe him their positions, making him quite powerful."

"Ah. Was he involved with Loghain?" Juliette asked.

"Front and center. Though of course, Howe was already clearly the forerunner in the lackey contest," Alistair turned to her and continued. "He seems determined to cause trouble now, though I don't yet see his benefit in doing so." He took a deep breath, "Which, brings me to why I asked you here."

Juliette waited for Alistair to continue.

"I need you to go along with me on something, Juliette. There is a nasty game of politics afoot, and while I am certain that Reign is at the center of it, I do not know why, or what his purpose is," Alistair said and turned, sitting on the bench by the fountain. "He is deliberately and loudly raising questions about the activities of the Wardens in Amaranthine," he continued, and Juliette came to sit next to him, listening. "I can see no gain in his doing so, but there is an undercurrent to it, and it's a bad one."

Juliette considered all this quickly. "Has some change I made in Amaranthine caused him harm? There have been many changes to our trade regulations, including a large smuggling ring that was disbanded."

"Eamon and I feel that it is much larger than that," Alistair watched her for a moment, then stood and paced a few steps. "Most of the whispers have to do with you, specifically. It seems that the hue he wishes to cast on you is one of incompetence."

"Why? I have had no dealings with him, nor am I aware of arrangements at the Vigil," Juliette said, genuinely confused. "How have I an enemy that I have not made?"

"Make no mistake, Juliette, I am the enemy he seeks to destroy. I believe he thinks to use either my being a Warden, or my past relationship with you, but I have yet to discern how," Alistair had circled the fountain and returned to sit next to her on the bench. "And I cannot know why, or to what end, unless I play his game."

Juliette rose and started walking, leaving Alistair to follow.

When she reached the next junction of the pathway, she stopped next to a large sculpture of Andraste. Juliette reached out and traced her finger along the robe of the woman. "Alistair, I am not interested in intrigue and the maligning of others. I have people to care for, and a land that requires defending," she said quietly.

"I know, and I am sorry," Alistair walked around the sculptures base. "I can think of no other way to sabotage whatever it is he plots."

"You are the king," said Juliette, her tone challenging him. "If you suspect him, then arrest him. Why play along at all?"

"Because I will not succeed by imprisoning him!" he said determinedly. "It will allow him to cover up whatever he is really doing. It leaves his power intact," Alistair answered. He ran his hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his neck, and exhaled loudly. "I cannot have him tried on what will amount to a pile of suspicions and I will not hang him without a trial."

"Alistair, if he is a threat to your rule then you may need to do just that," Juliette said flatly.

"No!" Alistair said vehemently. "I cannot be a just king to my people if they think I may simply have them executed. I want this to be done right, I want to"

"Have your cake and eat it too?" Juliette said interrupting. "Alistair, this is a grave risk!"

Alistair nodded, and came to stand next to her, taking her hand. He toyed with her fingers for just a moment, and slowly brought them to his lips. He kissed her hand and held it, "Juliette, I need your help," he said, his thumb tracing her palm. "I must discover the depth of this man's intent, and I must know who supports him. Please."

"Your time at court has taught you many things, I see," Juliette pulled her hand away slowly, assessing Alistair with a critical eye. "I will help you, Alistair, you know that," she said. "Your need is sincere, and this man a threat. Please do not try to manipulate me," she said.

Alistair looked at her and smiled quietly, "You have always seen right through any game I have tried to play. I miss that."

"Remember that and just be direct, will you? I am no politician," Juliette said, and looked away from him.

"No. You most certainly are not," he said. "I am sorry, Juliette," Alistair said, sounding sincere.

"What is your plan then?" Juliette asked. Alistair smiled, and began to explain.


	13. Deception

A Ruse

Juliette found her rooms in the palace several hours later. She had spent the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening meeting with Alistair and Arl Eamon, working out the details of their plan. Now she needed to find her men and explain it all.

When she had left Alistair that evening he had asked her a few general questions about her life at Vigil's Keep, her life as the Warden Commander.

"It seems that things are going as well as I had hoped there then." Alistair said. They walked to the large double doors of his private office and he laid a hand on the ornate knob to open it for her, but paused.

"Juliette, I know Oghren of course and I remember the mage with you, but who was the very large man in your group?"

"That's Nathaniel Howe." Juliette answered. "He has proven an impressive addition to our ranks."

"I thought as much." Alistair seemed pensive. "You're sure of him? I mean he is a Howe."

"The Howe family name was one of the most honorable in this land before his father." Juliette defended.

"Yes, but the man who is covering your back was raised by Rendon Howe. HE certainly seemed admirable enough at one time, as well." he said. "Not to mention you are the person who killed his father. Does it really strike you as odd that I would ask?"

"I've known Nathaniel my entire life. He's nothing like his father was and never will be." Juliette was becoming annoyed.

"Don't get testy, it's not a crazy notion that he may turn on you. Surely Fergus has had something to say."

"Why don't you ask Fergus how this same conversation went between he and I, hmm?" she huffed. "Look, I am not a fool. I trust him, completely and totally."

"Alright, don't get angry with me." Alistair stepped toward her. "I wasn't accusing him of any treachery, I'm just asking because I care for you, greatly, and don't want to see you hurt." Alistair leaned slowly beyond her open the door. Standing a hairs breath from her he finished "Ever."

"Good night your majesty" and she turned on her heel and sailed through the door, not waiting for his response.

The servants in the wing had advised her of which rooms were whose. She went to Anders door and knocked, asking him to gather Nathaniel and Oghren and meet in her outer rooms in a few minutes.

Juliette's rooms were actually a small set of suites and she was very happy with them. There was a large outer chamber that had several large chairs and a fireplace. It was perfect for meeting together without raising eyebrows. There were two doors off either side of the chamber, one leading to a study well stocked for the work she would be doing and the other to a large bedroom.

The palace staff had already unpacked the items for her from the cart that Varel had sent ahead over a week ago. She found her gowns and silk wraps, her slippers and other accessories stowed in the wardrobe. Her nightclothes were carefully laid out for her across the bed and a favorite book of verses that had been her mother's waited at the bedside.

Juliette was suddenly aware of how very tired she was. Today had been quite long and the plotting and planning of politics were exhausting. She had never been so glad that Alistair had ended it, realizing that it would have become a part of her daily life.

"How horrible." she said to herself as she sank into a chair to unlace her boots.

Standing, she then reached behind her back to tug on the strings that laced her into the bodice of the armor. When it loosened she could not resist the urge to draw a large breath, feeling her back relax. She pulled the bodice off and then removed her bracers, tossing it all into the chair. She began pulling off the high leather boot on her right foot, trying to keep her balance she began to hop.

"Is this what you called me here for?"

Juliette turned mid hop to see Nathaniel standing in the doorway and lost her balance. She pitched forward and tumbled against the chair which returned the favor by not budging at all. She bounced back and finally fell to the floor, landing on her backside with a un-lady like curse.

Nathaniel was laughing as he arrived to offer her his hand. She scowled at him but took his hand and stood up.

"You startled me!"

"I could say the same thing, finding you in your under things hopping about." he said, tucking her hair back over her ear. "I was told to see you but I didn't realize how literal those instructions were."

He was teasing her.

Juliette smiled and laughed. She reached out and held his arm to balance herself as she pulled off her boots.

"Thank you." she said as she threw the boots into the chair."I'll be out in a moment." and followed him out, shutting the door.

A few minutes later she was dressed in a loose tunic and doeskin breeches and entered the outer area of the rooms. Nathaniel was standing by the fire and Oghren and Anders were lounging on the chairs.

"Well, Commander?" Anders asked.

Juliette walked over to the fireplace to be near its warmth. She stood with her back to the flames and began to explain what she had learned.

"So that man, the one that called you a liar is the one Alistair is dealing with?" asked Oghren.

"Yes. Apparently he is involved in most every business, both legitimate and not, in Denerim. He has ties to many lower noble families and Eamon believes that many owe him either favors or money."

"Which is what makes him such a threat?" Anders asked.

"If you had half of the nobles of Ferelden in your debt you could easily achieve almost anything." Nathaniel answered. "But what does he mean to accomplish? Obviously not being king."

"No, no matter what Reign accused he would never beat a Landsmeet. Eamon says he has no real hold over the voting nobles." Juliette said.

"And no claim through blood or privilege of victory." Nathaniel stated.

Juliette nodded. "That's the thing that Eamon is stuck on. What does he gain by stirring up worries about the Warden's?"

"So the King means to put on a front of investigating us?"Anders asked. "Why?"

Juliette shrugged her shoulders. "Simply put, it's easiest to call the bluff." she walked over and leaned on the back of one of the chairs, her elbows propped, facing them. "If Bann Reign's intent is to make people question Alistair's motivation for appointing me Warden Commander then Alistair gains credibility by calling me here for questioning." Juliette walked around the chair and sat. "It may be his intent is to make people suspect that Alistair is weak because he is also a warden."

"Thereby implying that he is subject to another's power." Nathaniel finished.

"What Alistair and Eamon do feel is that publically pursuing this is best. It lets them control some of what is being said and perceived rather than just reacting to a rumor or accusation."Juliette continued "It also opens the door for the people they trust to snoop about with greater cause."

"Great. So we came all the way here to put on a damn play?" Oghren complained. "We're going to let these fancy sissy eunuchs with ribbons on their shirts accuse us of Ancestor's know what AND we have to play nice while they do it?"

"Basically, yes. I hate it too Oghren." Juliette said.

"And what happens if this all backfires? We all end up with our reputations damaged or ruined for what?" Anders asked. "Why do this at all?"

Juliette began to answer, but Nathaniel stopped her with his.

"If any of what the king suspects is correct then doing this may avoid a civil war. If the king appears weak and beholden than others may attempt to take the crown." Nathaniel stepped towards them. "Or it could invite outsiders to think that Ferelden is ripe for the picking."

The four wardens sat together for a few minutes, thinking through everything they had discussed.

"What happens if Alistair doesn't discover why Bann Reign is doing this?" asked Oghren.

"I don't know." Juliette said simply.

Anders got to his feet. "Well, if we all know our parts then I will say good night. I want to sleep in that giant feather bed and maybe find a fair maid to share it."

Oghren stood up as well. "I just want to sleep without listening to that donkey wheeze all night."

"One more thought." Juliette stopped them "We need to all assume that whoever we meet, whether it's a servant or a member of the court, they could be sharing information about what we say to one another. Or what we do. Unless we four are here, behind closed doors, we need to continue playing at this charade."

Anders and Oghren nodded their understanding and left the room.

Juliette sat back heavily, sighing. She rubbed her eyes.

"Nathaniel how did we get into this mess?" she asked, opening her eyes.

"It seems the mess got us not the other way around." he replied wisely. "One thing I want you to know. I knew it was important when I recognized Reign, but now even more so." He stepped in front of her and squatted.

"I thought I saw your face change when he was introduced."

"Huh, you did, did you?" Nathaniel asked. "Well, you never did miss much."

"No, I just know you." Juliette said softly. Nathaniel looked at her for a long moment and smiled slightly.

"Fair enough." He stood back up. "What I want you to know is that my father feared Bann Reign. I can't recall the exact events but I do remember that man in our home as a boy and very clearly understanding that my father was scared."

Nathaniel let the significance of that settle into her mind. He wasn't disappointed.

"So we shall assume the worse of everything he does or says and make ready for whatever is coming."

He nodded.

"May I share that with the king and Eamon? Your memory?" she asked.

"Yes." Nathaniel approached the outer chambers door to the hall and paused. "So at least now, you understand the strangeness of the king's letter to you."

"What? Oh, I suppose your right." she said. She stood and stretched.

"Does that help?"he asked. Nathaniel waited with dread for the look of hope to spark in her eyes.

"With what?" and it occurred to her what he was asking. "Nathaniel, it is over between Alistair and me. There is no relationship" she paused. " He's not the man I want."

Juliette opened the hall door and he stepped out. They exchanged their good nights and she shut the door.

Nathaniel soon stood in front of his own fireplace thinking of the way she had answered his last question. He was thrilled to hear her say that it was over between she and the king with such resolve, he did not doubt her any longer.

But she had not said the king wasn't the KIND of man she wanted; just that HE wasn't the man she wanted. Did that mean she knew which one she did?

He thought about all that had been happening between them for the past several months, especially the last few weeks and the events their trip.

That night, when Nathaniel climbed into his bed, he did away with his "No Thinking" policy and did a lot of thinking.

He slept like a baby.


	14. Places Everyone

Places Everyone!

Juliette woke the next morning slowly. She yawned and rubbed her eyes as her toes wiggled, enjoying the feel of the soft sheets. Eventually her mind became more focused and she began thinking of the drama the king was about to unfold.

Anders had made a decent point last night when he had asked what was the point. She had initially resisted Alistair's request to play along but had come to the same conclusion that Nathaniel had reached almost immediately. The kingdom could well be in danger.

She did not want to play these games. She had never felt the thrill that some felt upon their arrival at court. Her family had been exceedingly powerful politically as well as popular, but her parents had accomplished this by acting with respect and decency. Her parents had brought her and Fergus to court many times during her childhood for the sole purpose, her mother had explained, "to understand what others are capable of." They had encouraged them to observe people and to begin to learn how to see through the smiles as well as the bluster. Cynical yes, but her parents had known what could happen if they were not prepared.

Her father had taken her aside when she was about sixteen after they had come to the palace. Juliette was approaching womanhood and was caught up in romantic idea of king and court. He had gently counseled her to be always aware that the court was a place that people came to get something.

"Whether they pursue money, title, lands or stature, darling remember this, the court is where all those things begin." he had held her hand as he explained. "You are a beautiful girl and many will admire you but do not forget you are a Cousland and some may see the name alone. If love comes your way, your mother and I will rejoice for you, but many will try to flatter or impress you to gain through you. Remember who you are and you will know what is real and what is false."

Her father had been right and his advice would again serve her well.

Dressing carefully in her armor she moved to the vanity and wound her hair into an attractive knot. She washed her face and freshened herself, ready to begin her part of the kings scheme.

Juliette departed her rooms and followed the hall to the main gallery of the wing. Here she found Anders and Nathaniel waiting for her.

"What does our day have for us, Commander?" Nathaniel asked.

"The king requires we attend him regarding concerns in Amaranthine. We should go to the royal apartments and wait for his summons." she said clearly so that the two men seated nearby would have no question as to what was said.

"Where is Oghren?" she asked and he suddenly appeared around the corner. "Oh. That answers that."

"Sorry Commander, I was having a little trouble."

"Are you alright?" Juliette asked.

"Yea, let's just say the water closet wasn't made for folks, uh, my size."

"Eeeeew!" said Anders, his nose drawn into a pinch.

"You didn't, uh.." Nathaniel began and then dropped it.

"Like I said, it wasn't made for dwarves, can we cut the chatter?" Oghren stomped ahead of them towards the main flight of stairs.

They arrived at the outer salon of the kings apartments a few minutes later, again leaving a wake of interested courtiers. Along the way, both Juliette and Nathaniel had been greeted by several people but more so Juliette. She was asked about her brother and the reconstruction of Highever, offered condolences for her parent's deaths.

Many ignored Nathaniel outright and Juliette began to confront this by introducing him to those that stopped her. They would look away and mutter a greeting before ignoring him further.

"Commander," he said under his breath. "Stop forcing the situation."

"Nathaniel it's ridiculous! They are being" Nathaniel reached out and stopped her.

"Courtiers. No one wants to risk being seen speaking to a Howe."

"You did nothing wrong. You shouldn't have to tolerate it!" the anger obvious on her face.

"It has nothing to do with ME. I understand that, as should you. You will only make it worse."

Crossing her arms she huffed a little and shifted her weight. She began to open her mouth to say something else but shut it quickly.

"It's wrong." she finally said

"Yes but what has that to do with it?" Nathaniel asked her quietly.

"Alright. I'm sorry I embarrassed you." she said, looking at her boots.

"You could never do so."

The foursome waited in the salon for hours, as was agreed to the night before. The outer salon was always packed with people, waiting or making deals or observing those who did both. Eamon wanted it seen that she did not gain entry to the king readily. Oghren finally laid down on a chaise and went to sleep, snoring loudly and drawing stares from those nearby.

Right on time, four hours after the wardens arrived, Arl Eamon exited from the kings chambers, deliberately closing them behind him.

"Warden Commander Cousland, I apologize for your wait." he began.

"I expected to be seen long ago, Arl Eamon." she started to step past him towards the doors.

"Commander, the king has asked me to have you return tomorrow. His schedule is too full and he has not the time to speak with you today."

"Arl Eamon, I have traveled a great distance at great inconvenience to myself and these men." Juliette said with mock irritation.

"Warden Commander, the king will see you tomorrow and no sooner." Eamon answered.

Juliette stared at Eamon for another moment. "Til tomorrow then Arl Eamon. Good day." and she made a great show of leaving the salon.

The next two days were very much the same. The wardens went down, the wardens waited, the were wardens dismissed.

The third night they were all getting restless.

"We've been inside this palace for too long! I need a drink!" Oghren barked.

"I agree with the dwarf. I could use some time out of this place" Anders said. "Everyone here is so stiff, even the maids won't play with me."

"I suppose we could go to the Market District, we've already done out little show for the day." Juliette agreed. "And there is a tavern there."

Nathaniel nodded his agreement. "Alright, but I want to change out of this armor. No need for full armor."

A half hour later the three wardens had changed into less battle ready clothing and were waiting for their commander to meet them in the gallery.

Juliette rounded the corner and came into view.

"Wow! Take a look at our girl!" said Anders.

"We're gonna end up knocking some skulls tonight because of her." Oghren said cheerfully.

Nathaniel came to his feet, awestruck. He'd seen her dressed in a gown before, but in truth they had been children. Since he had come to Vigil's Keep Juliette had favored her doeskin breeches and loose tops, which he certainly appreciated, but this was a beauty walking toward him.

She wore a long gown of pale gold with a simple scooped neckline that was not quite as low as fashionable but still displayed her "assets". The bodice was fitted and showed off her waist and the gentle slope at the top of her hips and the skirt ended just dusting the tops of the matching slippers. Her hair was down but softly pulled back at her temples joining in a small braid down the back. Her large blue eyes seemed more vibrant and the mix of reds, browns and blondes in her hair was enhanced by the gowns color. Juliette smiled at them all as she reached them.

"Ready to go?"she asked.

Anders and Oghren simply started walking out of the gallery and she took a few steps to follow them when she noticed that Nathaniel wasn't moving.

"Nathaniel, are you ready?" she asked, turning back to him.

"What? Oh, yes." though he still didn't budge.

Juliette smiled slowly and walked back to him. She was standing directly in front him when she asked, "Nate, are you alright? You have a, uh, look I've never seen before."

"Juliette you are beautiful." Nathaniel said simply.

She smiled and then bit her lip. "And this leaves you unable to walk?"

"It leaves me unable to breathe."

Juliette's smile widened. "Oh"

"We are being watched." Nathaniel muttered to himself "Shall we go and find Anders and Oghren?" Nathaniel said, offering his arm.

Juliette took it and smiled at him. "Yes."


	15. warden's Night Out

Warden's Night Out

Anders and Oghren were a hundred yards or so ahead of them by the time they reached the palace gates. Juliette and Nathaniel walked quietly together, her hand on his arm.

Juliette was still beaming on the inside from his impromptu compliment. He had truly seemed set off balance by her appearance and she thrilled at it. Juliette had realized these last few nights, with nothing to do but sit in luxury, that her feelings for him had changed from friendship to much more. She couldn't pinpoint when but a part of her knew that perhaps it had always been so.

For his part, Nathaniel was finally settling into the idea that his feelings for her were not something he could limit or control. Despite the mud on his name and the shame that was his to carry she had his heart and he could not deny her anything. He had not yet concluded how he would work all this out if she would even have him, let alone with her brother, but he knew he could not live in any peace without her.

They followed the others through the gates and out across the long walkway. They chatted to each other about the people in the palace and the next step in the kings plan.

"He sent a note that he intends to have a semi public meeting, questioning me about the Architect. He wants to allow Bann Reign to put on a display. Alistair's spies have some leads and he wants to let the man talk." Juliette explained.

"Is this wise?" Nathaniel's eyebrows drawing together"He still has not uncovered the man's true purpose; the King cannot predict the course of the meeting."

"We shall find out soon enough, perhaps as early as tomorrow." she replied.

They reached the end of the walkway and followed the pathway to the Market District soon arriving at its west gate.

Anders was waiting for them to catch up.

"Oghren said he would be found in the Gnawed Noble. I'm going over to The Wonders of Thedas and then wander around a bit see if there isn't some pretty girl to talk to. Meet you two there later?"

Juliette and Nathaniel looked at the wares in the stalls. They stopped at the weapons smith's stall while Nathaniel admired a bow.

"Enchanted to enhance your swiftness, allowing you to provide more covering shots." the hawker said. "Also, has a Master Paralyze Rune in the hand piece which can be quite helpful for larger foes."

He declined and handed it back to the man and they continued on their way.

"Is there something wrong with your bow?"

"No, I just admire beauty. That was a well crafted bow and I can appreciate what it took for it to be made."

She understood completely.

A while later, the sun was setting and they were both famished. Nathaniel led her to the door of the Gnawed Noble and led her in. Oghren was seated at the bar, loudly swapping stories with another dwarf. He raised his mug in greeting and Nathaniel pointed to a table, telling him that they were going to eat.

The fare at the Gnawed Noble was simple but good and they soon were eating some beef and vegetables. There was a hearty brown bread and each had a glass of ale to wash it down. A game of dice was starting at the table next to them and a group of men were singing a ditty and drinking after each chorus.

"I must admit, Oghren was dead on. The palace was getting tedious." Nathaniel offered.

"It seems to me that any time Oghren is correct it usually involves drinking."

Nathaniel laughed "You are right, I think. The man is fierce, mean and unbelievably crass but he knows a good time!"

"Juliette Cousland? Is that you?"

Juliette turned around to see that Thomas Hayden, the son of a minor Bann was standing at the tableside.

"Thomas! Hello, how are you?" she asked.

"Maker girl but you grew into a looker!" Thomas lurched forward a bit when someone passed by. "I haven't seen in you in a long time!" he was clearly very drunk.

Nathaniel scowled at the man but Juliette shook her head minutely.

"Thomas, uh, thank you. It was good to see you again, fare well." She said hoping to dismiss him.

Thomas wobbled a bit but then stopped and scrutinized Nathaniel, his facing scrunching.

"Who are you, sir?" he asked Nathaniel.

"My name is Nathaniel Howe and you are?"

"Wait a minute…." Thomas turned back to Juliette grabbing her arm. "I had heard you were the king's piece and now you're here with a Howe?" he looked left, then right."So where do I sign up?"

Nathaniel came across the table and had him by this throat in an instant, lifting him off his feet and slamming him into the adjacent wall. Juliette leapt to her feet.

"YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TO THE LADY." Nathaniel seethed through his teeth. "OR I WILL KILL YOU HERE AND NOW."

The entire tavern ground to a halt.

"Thomas? You alright? What's going on here?" a large man who clearly was a companion of Thomas's approached.

"Your friend has insulted this lady and he WILL apologize NOW!" Nathaniel answered the man, never looking away from Thomas.

Oghren came to stand beside Juliette and Anders appeared from nowhere.

"You've got my friend by his throat so why not set him down and let him do just that?"

Nathaniel slowly lowered Thomas to his feet and he doubled over choking and rubbing his throat.

"I will not apologize to her- I got nothing to apologize for! She's my old friend and I can talk to her if"

Nathaniel slammed Thomas back into the wall.

"TRY AGAIN"

"Why don't you ease up? He's drunk and he says he knows her. Let him go or you'll have trouble."

"Why don't you shut your fat mouth and let your girlfriend make her apology?" yelled Oghren at the man.

"What did you say to me shorty?"

The next thing Juliette knew every person in the Gnawed Noble was hitting, biting, kicking or punching someone else. Mayhem ensued and the tables were flipping and the chairs were breaking, either over someone's head or from being fallen on. Anders was tucked into a corner and the light he was creating with his fingers told her that he was healing Oghren and Nathaniel.

Suddenly Nathaniel scooped her up and tucked her into his chest, making a break for the exit. Two men tackled him from behind, throwing Juliette out of his arms and into the floor. She leapt to her feet chasing after the men, grabbing a barmaid's tray on her way. Scampering onto one man's back she pounded his head over and over until he let go of Nathaniel. Juliette jumped down and ducked before an out of control punch landed on her and snatching up a meat fork from the floor stabbing the other man in the thigh. He screamed and swung at her smashing his fist into her cheek but let his grip on Nathaniel go.

Oghren bellowed and head butted the man slamming him into the ground.

"You sure know how to start a good fight Commander!" he smiled before attacking someone else.

Nathaniel recovered his feet and again grabbed her and this time succeeded in getting to the door.

"ANDERS!" Juliette yelled.

Anders looked up and waved at them. "We'll meet you back at the palace! I don't think he's done yet!"

Nathaniel dragged her out the door and hurried through the street until they reached the walkway.

Once they stopped they both sat down hard on a bench panting.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Nothing really landed on me I'm faster than I look. Did I see you stab a man with a fork?" Nathaniel asked.

Juliette giggled. "He let you go didn't he?" she asked with a smile. "Ouch! It hurts to smile" and she giggled again as she rubbed her cheek.

"What? Did that son of a bitch hit you?" Nathaniel reached for her chin and turned her to face the light.

Her cheek was slightly swollen and showing signs of turning purple. Anger flooded Nathaniel again.

"Stop. I've had much worse and Anders can fix it when he returns."

"I'm taking you back to your room." Nathaniel stood and took her hand. She could see he was very upset but knew there was little she could say. She stayed silent while she let him lead her back.

They reached the door to her outer chamber soon enough. He opened the door and she was surprised that he came in with her.

Nathaniel dropped her hand, closed the door and went straight to her bath returning with a basin and a towel.

"Sit down at the fireplace so I can see your cheek." He ordered.

"Nathaniel, it's fine really. Anders will get here soon enough." Juliette argued but she sank down into the thick carpet in front of the fireplace anyway.

Nathaniel sat on his knees in front of her and gently took her chin in his large hand. He carefully turned her cheek to the firelight and softly rubbed his thumb over the rising bruise.

"It's not fine. It's my fault that fool hit you." he raised the moistened cloth to her cheek.

"Nate it's not your fault. Thomas Hayden was always an utter waste of breath." she winced a bit "You cannot control other people. Thank you, by the way."

He didn't answer but washed her cheek again, his eyes never leaving hers.

His nearness was overwhelming her. "I washed you that night, after the wolf attack." Juliette blurted out. "Oh, I. I shouldn't have said that."

"Your cheek is turning red Jules." his hand lowered back to the basin. "I know you did."

"You do?" shock showing on her face, she bit her lip.

"Yes, and I recall you biting your lip like that when you washed me." Nathaniel leaned in so closely the blood began rushing in her ears.

"You were asleep."

"No. Thank the Maker, no I wasn't."

He gently and carefully kissed her hurt cheek and she turned her head just a hair bringing her lips just a breath from his. Juliette raised her hand and touched the base of his jaw running her hand up into his loose black hair.

"Nate?" she whispered. His mouth brushed across hers in the softest way, lightly kissing her then becoming more. She pressed herself into him and his tongue feathered across her lips and she opened her mouth to taste him. Her breath was heavy as he pulled her into his lap, Nathaniel's arms locking around her as the kissing deepened.

Juliette ran her hands across his chest and locked them behind his neck. She never wanted him to stop kissing her she wanted him to do more and moaned at the idea.

Nathaniel turned at his waist and lowered her onto the carpet, covering her. Instinct had her pull her knees along his sides and she could feel him hard against her thigh.

Suddenly, she was lying there alone.

"Maker!" Nathaniel was standing and backing up. "Jules." He was panting, hard. "We must stop….I will not be able to if we carry on much longer."

"Nate?" she sat up and ran her fingers across her mouth. They were swollen and warm from his kisses.

"Jules" Nathaniel paced. "I think we should talk."

"Talk?"Juliette got to her feet only to find her legs were wobbly. She leaned against a chair.

"Yes, talk. I will not take you on the carpet of a common room, no matter how desperately I want you."

"I, uh" she let out a rush of breath, nodding her head. "Right."

The both stood quietly breathing hard.

"Can we agree this is real between us?" Nathaniel asked after a few minutes.

Juliette nodded. "Yes, very much so."

"We will need to return to the Vigil before we can pursue this, yes?"

Juliette knew he was right and again nodded.

Nathaniel walked over to her and ran his hand down her uninjured cheek, reaching down to take her hand.

"Until we return home then." he held her hand for a moment. "You are more than anything I deserve, we will do this the right way, Jules, you and I." He caressed her face and kissed her forehead before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

Juliette turned to stare at the door, lost in what had just happened. After a few minutes her heart slowed and she settled down.

"Oh my." she said smiling."Fergus is going to be livid."


	16. Target

Target

Juliette received an official request to attend a council meeting the next morning. She was to be present in the council antechamber at one o'clock with her party in attendance.

The summons had been delivered by a page with a flourish in the main gallery. He had entered the room heading directly to her bowing before announcing quite loudly, "A summons from his Majesty, Warden Commander."

Juliette had opened the paper, scanned its contents and told the page that they would attend. He turned on his heal and left.

At one o'clock Juliette was standing outside the council chamber with Anders, Oghren and Nathaniel standing with her. They all came in full dress armor, well oiled and shined. Anders purple mages robe was spectacular and Oghren fairly gleamed in his plate. The chamber doors opened.

"Warden Commander Cousland, wardens, please follow me, ma'am." A page in livery requested. The group took a collective step forward and were soon delivered before the gathering council.

She saw that the chamber was very large with windows that reached almost to the high ceiling. There was a very large fireplace behind the ornate chair that sat middle of the center table, clearly being the King's. There were three tables in all, the center table having the other two coming off its front, forming a large U.

Most of the seats were filled, many with those she recognized, including Bann Alfstanna and Arl Wulff. Her father had been invited to sit with the council during the last year of King Maric's rule. Bryce Cousland had declined the offer, though he had been honored.

Juliette noticed that Bann Reign was standing in the far corner, closest to the door that must lead to the King's chamber. His head was bent in conversation with Bann Ceorlic, the only Bann to side with Loghain during the Landsmeet.

"Interesting." she said to herself.

The door to the King's chamber opened and Arl Eamon stepped through. Everyone in the room came to attention and King Alistair came behind the Arl a brief moment later. All present bowed in his direction, Juliette dropping into a deep curtsey. He walked directly to the large chair at the center table and acknowledged the group.

"Good day everyone. Warden Commander, thank you for coming, please rise." Alistair said taking his seat. The council members all sat in their seats, leaving Juliette and the wardens standing in the middle of the U. It was quite clear to all that the wardens were not being invited to sit.

"Warden Commander, I want first to again extend our thanks for your service to our people." Alistair began, "The threat of the remaining darkspawn bands has certainly diminished and is all together gone in many regions."

"It has been an honor, your Majesty"

"The council has been regularly receiving reports from your seneschal and things in Amaranthine seem to be recovering." the King continued. "It seems that the people there have found your rule mostly favorable."

There were several nods of agreement from councilors, the King pausing briefly while looking at a document.

"It seems that not all things are well in Amaranthine, though. It was reported that there were darkspawn who seem to have the ability to speak. Am I understanding this correctly?" Alistair asked.

"Yes your Majesty you are. We encountered at least five darkspawn who not only spoke but appeared sentient."

"Please explain to the council why that would be unusual." Alistair invited.

"Yes. Darkspawn are soulless creatures who feed on the dead. They do not think independently, acting entirely on instinct. It is their instinct to attack anything that does not carry their taint, the goal being either to spread the taint or to end what it cannot be spread to." Juliette paused, waiting for Alistair to ask more.

"So they are unable to think?" Arl Eamon prompted.

"They are unable to reason, driven completely to taint or kill. I have seen nothing that would lead me to believe that any darkspawn has emotion or thought." she allowed her gaze to scan the council and then continued. "Darkspawn cannot control their behavior."

"Yet they seemed organized and even followed tactics during the Blight." Offered a council member she recognized from the Landsmeet.

"Correct sir. The darkspawn sense the old god's untainted presence in the Deep Roads, again on instinct. The old god, once released is sentient and has the ability to direct the darkspawn, but the darkspawn make no decisions, they respond to orders only."

"Please explain your first encounter with a talking darkspawn." Arl Eamon said.

"The night that I arrived at Vigil's Keep, approximately six months ago, the keep had been overrun by a large party of darkspawn."

"How did that happen?" a member asked.

"Unclosed connections in the sublevels of the keep had allowed them access, the people within not knowing until much too late."

"Please continue, Commander." said King Alistair.

Juliette nodded.

"After Warden Anders, Warden Oghren and I had cleared the keep, we reached the battlements. It was here that we discovered Seneschal Varel being held by a darkspawn. Upon our approach I heard the darkspawn order the others with it to kill all but me."

"What happened then?" Eamon asked.

"I attempted to engage the darkspawn in communication, for in truth I was amazed. But as I said before, darkspawn do not reason, they act. The others with it attacked and we had no choice but to kill them."

King Alistair sat forward in this seat, placing his elbows on top, his hands folded together. He seemed to be thinking this all through.

"Your Majesty, with your permission, may I ask a question?" asked Bann Reign who was seated at the end of the U.

"Certainly" Alistair nodding his consent.

"We know that both you and our king were the only Wardens in Ferelden at the time of the Blight and I am most grateful for your heroics. With the king taking his place, the appointment of Warden Commander was offered to you, correct?"

"Yes, Bann Reign." Juliette answered, turning to face him.

"By whom?" he asked.

"King Alistair asked me to take the position. Weisshaupt Fortress had no objections."

"Weisshaupt Fortress being the headquarters, if you will, it's the, uh, source of leadership for all wardens, yes?" he asked.

"Yes." she said.

"And is it Weisshaupt that you are loyal to, Warden Commander?" he questioned, looking her in the eyes.

There was a charge of energy that went through the room. Many council members shifted in their seats or looked with concern at one another.

"I answer to Weisshaupt that is correct. They advise me."

"But your loyalty, Warden Commander, I understand that the warden's say that once you are a warden there is no turning back. Is that correct?"

Alistair met her eyes briefly and then sat back slowly in his seat. Arl Eamon appeared to be nonplused. It seemed that Bann Reign did indeed have a plan.

"My father and mother were Fereldens, sir. I was raised to love this land and to look after those within." she answered.

"Your Majesty I must protest the Bann's tone. To imply that Warden Commander Cousland is not loyal to her own people is insulting to all. She is the Hero of Ferelden and the daughter of Bryce Cousland." said Arl Wulff.

"I simply wish to understand who the Warden Commander works for." Bann Reign said."So, you are not free to make your own decisions, you must justify yourself to Weisshaupt." he began again. "Those at the Fortress make decisions for all wardens, which is why the King was required to wait for their approval of your appointment."

"If you mean to say that I make choices that best suit Weisshaupt's needs over Ferelden's, then no, you are incorrect." Juliette answered with ice in her voice.

"Bann Reign, do you persist in insulting this woman?" Arl Wulff asked, standing.

"Please!" he said, raising both hands innocently, "I meant no insult! I am simply ignorant and wished to understand, nothing more. Pray, forgive me. You have my most sincere apologies, Warden Commander." and with that Bann Reign ended his questions.

The room was silent for a few moments as all of this seemed to settle in. Arl Eamon cleared his throat.

"Warden Commander, thank you. Would you please explain who this "architect" creature is?" he asked.

"The Architect is one of the sentient darkspawn that I know of. He could not explain how he came to be so." Juliette provided.

"And this other thing, the broodmother known as "The Mother"?" Eamon led.

"She was also sentient. This a result of an experiment performed by The Architect." Juliette explained.

"An experiment? Elaborate." ordered King Alistair.

"The Architect began experimenting with various magics to discover why he was different from the other darkspawn. It led him to conclude that the taint within each darkspawn was the reason they remained non sentient." Juliette paused. "He then began to determine if he could bring awareness to the others."

"It was this experiment that brought about "The Mother", then?" he asked.

"Yes your Majesty. While the theory proved sound the result was remarkably wrong. She became sentient but was insane, desperate to return to the nothingness she had known."

"What occurred then?" asked Arl Eamon.

"The Architect continued his efforts and was successful in freeing many darkspawn. Most were able to recover, as it were, and only a few were unable to transition." Juliette shifted on her feet.

Juliette paused then continued. "Those few became united under "The Mother", she having gone into hiding in the deeper parts of the Deep Roads. It was this small group that decided to retaliate by attempting to kill The Architect."

"So a civil war, in a sense, was going on between these two groups." King Alistair concluded.

"Yes, correct. The Architect sought out the warden's at Vigil's Keep, asking our aid in killing The Mother."

"You AIDED a darkspawn?" this from Bann Alfstanna.

"I would not say that I aided them, no. I used the information that I had available to find a broodmother and her army and destroy them." Juliette answered.

"Please explain why you didn't kill all of them." King Alistair said. "It would have seemed the prudent thing to do, Commander."

"Perhaps" she thought her answer through briefly."The Architect had been successful in bringing consciousness to many darkspawn and the majority have no desire to leave the Deep Roads. They acknowledge that their place was underground." Juliette answered.

"As a Warden, it is my purpose to end the threat of the darkspawn. It has always been believed that this could only be achieved through their destruction, costing literally thousands of human, elven and dwarven lives over the last several ages." she paused and met Alistair's eyes. "The potential that those creatures could be freed from their drive, thereby ending their need to taint and kill is **real**. Our goals seemed similar, so I allowed it to live, understanding that it would continue its efforts to end the taint."

"An unusual if not controversial decision, Warden Commander." King Alistair said.

Juliette gave no answer but stood in her place before the tables.

Alistair leaned over and said something to Arl Eamon, who stood.

"Thank you, Warden Commander for speaking with us. The council has much to discuss and we offer our gratitude for your answers."

With that, the Wardens were dismissed.

Hours later Juliette received a note in her rooms inviting her to meet Isolde, Arl Eamon's wife, in the private gardens that she had walked with King Alistair. Juliette donned another gown, this one of pale blue and pinned her hair up. She took a wrap with her and stopped at Nathaniel's door letting him know where she would be.

Juliette arrived at the garden at the designated time but did not see Isolde. She walked through the garden to the fountain and sat to wait.

After a while, with Isolde still not having arrived, she walked the back part of the garden, following a path she had not when she had spoken with Alistair. The rosebushes were beautiful and trained over a series of arches, creating a tranquil spot. Admiring these she turned down another path that had a long stretch of tall bushes and she wondered if the garden included a maze as well. Curiosity won and she poked her head in, discovering she had been correct.

As she rounded a corner, promising herself she would not venture far, else she miss Isolde, she heard a voice. Juliette paused but did not recognize the man's voice. Deciding it best to turn back, she followed the path she had walked but collided with someone at the exit.

"Oh! Excuse me!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean to" and stumbled at being struck.

Juliette recovered her stagger and turned ready to fight but the man had the better of her and her temple met with the hilt of his sword, her world turning black.


	17. Hired Help

Hired Help

Juliette felt the nausea before she could see anything. Rubbing her temple, she felt a large lump.

She tried to listen but heard only the sounds of the street. Opening her eyes revealed nothing, since she was in a room that was almost pitch black but her eyes soon adjusted.

It didn't appear that anyone was with here, which she found surprising to say the least. Good, but surprising.

Slowly she sat up, keeping as silent as she could. Listening carefully she could clearly here the street, it seemed, from down below. Cautiously she stood, reaching out in the dark for any objects she may bump into. Her toe softly struck what seemed to be a wooden crate and she followed it to a wall.

"I'm not even tied up." she muttered. She followed the wall and came to a door, which was locked. Her fingers felt the knob and she tried to imagine it in her mind, wondering if it was a lock she was familiar with. Gaining no knowledge by touch she went to the other end of the door and felt the bolts that held it in place.

Juliette smiled as she realized one of the pins was loose.

Slowly she worked it from underneath until finally freeing it. Turning the pin upside down she used the slimmer end to carefully force the other two pins up and out of their slots. After what seemed an eternity, she felt the door shift ever so slightly and she knew she was successful.

Allowing the door to lean a bit loose in the frame, since it was still locked at its knob, gave her just the slightest bit of light. Juliette pressed her cheek to the crack, trying to understand her situation better.

At the farthest corner that she could see was a pair of man's boots, though she couldn't see if they were occupied by a man's feet or not. They rest of the potential person could be hidden behind a table, or, they could just be boots. She screwed her eye in the opposite direction and was thrilled to see that a very grimy mirror was hung on the opposite wall.

The mirror gave her a wonderful view of the room. A large bed dominated it and she could now see the man's boots appeared empty. She could see what she reasoned was the rooms door and realized that it was open. It appeared that the room was unoccupied and she decided to brave it.

Carefully and slowly she pulled the door back, waiting for the loud popping sound that she knew would come once the knob's tongue left its groove. It did and her heart hammered, waiting for the arrival of whoever had locked her in in the first place.

Nothing happened.

"Where are the bad guys?" she said under her breath. None appeared and she cautiously stepped into the room.

Juliette searched the room for a weapon and wasn't having any luck, though it was becoming a little more apparent where she was. The drawers of the room were full of dirty lingerie and a few "items" she didn't quite recognize but thought she had an idea of what they could be for. The bed had some strips of leather tied to its headboard. Peeking out of the open door she saw another room with another bed set up similarly. All in all it helped her reach one conclusion.

"I'm in a damn whorehouse."

Well that was certainly interesting. But where were the whores? Why weren't these beds occupied?

Juliette crept through the next room and reached its door as well. This one was closed and she tested the knob, pleased that this one was unlocked. Opening it a crack she could see the hallway but she also saw two men.

The men were speaking frantically to one another, and the one on the left looked vaguely familiar. It registered that she had seen him before and now that she had to think about it, she had seen him in a few places.

The man had been in the tap room in an inn outside Denerim, the last place they had eaten before entering the city. Had she also seen him talking to a page? She was positive she had seen him in the Market Place last night.

How had she not noticed him? He'd been following her off and on for a week!

He turned himself slightly while speaking and she saw that he wore a sword at his side. She was familiar with the sword too, she realized rubbing her temple.

Desperately she tried to listen to their conversation but couldn't hear them over the noise she could hear from below. Suddenly the man she did not recognize departed down the hallway and the man she knew was about to open the door.

Juliette leapt back and pressed herself against the wall the door would swing into. He entered the room and immediately proceeded through to the next. Juliette realized that he was heading to the room he thought she was locked into and knew she had to act fast. She saw a poker by the fireplace, grabbed it and followed him into the next bedroom.

She swung the poker into the side of his knees, sweeping them out from under him. He landed with a thud and she pushed her heel into his throat and held the poker an inch above his right eye.

"Say a word and you will be blind!" she threatened in a loud whisper. His eyes were full of fear and she gave his throat a good press to make sure he believed her.

Juliette leaned about a foot away to the bed post and pulled a heavy leather strap from it.

"Raise your hands."

Like a fool he complied, not even trying to force her off balance. She was thrilled to realize that this man was no fighter. She quickly bound his hands and he dropped them onto his chest.

"Why did you attack me?"

"I, "his voice strained from her foot "I didn't mean to but you saw me."

"Doing what?"

"Following you." he answered. "I wasn't supposed to be seen. Just keep an eye on you, report back."

"Report back to whom?" she asked.

"I ain't gonna tell you! He'll cut me to pieces!"

Juliette leaned against his throat and his face contorted with pain. She waited another minute for his skin to get that blue haze she sought and then let up.

"Report back to whom?"

The man gasped and coughed and looked at her with real fear. Good.

"Ser Jasper, Bann Ceorlic's man! He said that you was a threat and that the lady would benefit from keepin a eye on you, so I did."

"What lady?"

He didn't answer so she shoved her heel back down and once the blue returned she moved her foot.

"One more time, what lady?"

"Our queen! It's you who had her locked up when you made the new king king! I heard all about it at the tavern!"

Juliette was astonished. Anora?

"She was a good queen, used to have her maids hand out money to us folk but then that was that. I've been havin to work!"

"So you were hired to watch me, report what I did to Bann Ceorlic's man Ser Jasper which aids Anora?"

"I'm in service to help right a wrong I am!"

"Do you know a Bann Reign?"

"Everybody knows him and I ain't sayin a thing about his jobs I do cause he'll hang my nether parts on my mother's front door!"

Juliette mulled that over in her mind. "You are right to fear him, he wouldn't want me to know that he is helping the queen."

"No he wouldn't!" and his eyes widened as he realized he had confirmed her suspicions. "You tricked me! That wasn't fair!"

"You hit me in the head!" she glared at him. "Speaking of which," Juliette flipped the poker into the air and deftly caught the sharp end. His eyes widened as she brought the blunt handle against his head.

Juliette pulled more leather straps from the bedstead and bound his feet. She drug him into the dark room she had woken up in and pulled his bindings off his wrists. She rolled him onto his stomach and bound his hands behind him. Pulling the binding of his feet up she pressed his boot heels into his bottom and tied the hand and feet straps together. She found a rag and stuffed it into his mouth.

Juliette did her best to place the broken door back into its frame. Eyeing it she knew it wasn't perfect but it wasn't obvious anymore either.

"Time to go home." and she crept through the unlocked door into the hall and when she reached the top of the stairs paused. It sounded as though the rooms downstairs, a tap room as far as she could gather, was full of patrons. Deciding against trying to blend in, since someone might recognize her or worse, think she was part of the entertainment, she tried a few other doors off the hall.

The door at the end gave way to an office and she was thrilled to see a window. It was small and the drop long but she thought that if she lowered herself out of the frame rather than jumping she would be alright.

Her theory proved correct. Though she got a cat call in doing so and a couple of strange looks, she was able to lower herself and drop into the alley below.

Juliette raced away from the back of the building. She hurried a few more streets and was able to gather her bearings. She was in the lower part of the city, in the warehouse district. Juliette found the gate connecting the area to a walkway to the south side of the marketplace and hurried across.

An hour later she was back at the palace gates. She bound up the steps and almost collided with Nathaniel, Oghren and Anders.

"Where in the Ancestor's ass cheeks have you been Commander?" Oghren barked out.

Anders immediately noticed her swollen temple and Nathaniel looked enraged.

"What happened? Who did this?"

"How'd you know I was gone?" she asked.

"You received a second note from the Arlessa apologizing for missing you." Nathaniel answered.

"Oh, well, there you go. Shall we head to my rooms?" she calmly said.

Two hours later, a wonderful healing spell cast on her and a hot dinner the wardens had put together a picture of what may really be happening within the court.

"So how do we share this with Alistair and Eamon?" Oghren asked.

"I'm not sure. Obviously we are all being carefully watched." Juliette replied.

"Though not competently." Anders scoffed.

Juliette smiled at that. "Well yes, but it's hard to find good help these days."

"Perhaps I could go." Nathaniel offered." I am the newest warden, an outcast and powerless, at least to the court. Having me run an errand or two would seem a reasonable use for me."

"That sounds just horrible, boy, when you say it like that."

Nathaniel smiled at Oghren. "Thanks."

Juliette saw the sense in what Nathaniel was saying.

"He's right though, Nathaniel could go deliver something to Arl Eamon without anyone really being surprised that he is carrying messages. It would make it seem uneventful." Juliette thought about it and nodded her head.

"Let me write it up and then you can read it. If you still want to you could take it." and she stood up and headed into the study.

An hour later Nathaniel was placing the note into the Arl's hand, apologizing for the late hour and immediately leaving his presence.


	18. His Own Man

His Own Man

Nathaniel followed the long corridors that meandered through the palace. Having delivered the message to Arl Eamon he was anxious to return to Juliette's outer room, where the others were waiting for him.

"Warden Howe!" came his name, causing Nathaniel to stop and look about. He noticed that Bann Reign was seated in a window box, partially hidden in the evening shadows.

He approached the Bann who stood at his arrival.

"Warden Howe I am so pleased to have spotted you alone. I have so wanted a moment to speak with you." Bann Reign clapped Nathaniel on his shoulder, gesturing for him to sit.

The two sat down together while the Bann continued.

"I wanted to offer you my deepest condolences. I knew your father well and was deeply saddened by his loss."

"Thank you Bann Reign." Nathaniel said quietly.

"I cannot fathom what it must be like." Reign said sympathetically.

"His loss was a surprise."

"Well, yes, of course but what I meant was," and he leaned in a bit, lowering his voice, "was having to work for the woman who murdered him!"

Nathaniel was astonished. It had never occurred to him that the Bann would go after this angle. He hoped that his revulsion didn't show too clearly on his face, and if it did, that he would assume it was a response to his commander.

"My conscription was difficult for me." Nathaniel said, trying to limit his answer. "I was against it."

"So she murdered your father in his home and forced you to become a warden?" Bann Reign said with mock disgust. "And she seems to have gotten away with these injustices."

"Perhaps."

"You are aware why, are you not?" Reign said leaning in conspiratorially. "She is the King's whore." And Reign nodded for affect.

It took everything inside Nathaniel to not take Reign by his greasy hair and smash him to the ground. But he knew that this could lead to something and focused solely on helping Juliette.

"She used her weight at the Landsmeet, playing up the death of her family and got him the crown. Loghain tried to call the Landsmeet to address what she had done to your family but they were weak." Bann Reign sighed. "Her actions pushed the rightful, competent queen right out and up into Fort Drakon."

"You disagree with the Landsmeet?" Nathaniel asked.

"No. I know my betters should be making those decisions. I would not question them." he said. "But I do know that your father's murderer saw no justice, she gained power, title and lands and he got the crown. Quite tidy."

"Nathaniel, if I may call you that?" said Bann Reign though he didn't wait for Nathaniel's response. "Your father was a brilliant arl and business man. We worked together on many things. Queen Anora saw his abilities as well and had helped him many times in the years he built up his power."

"He admired Teyrn Mac Tir" Nathaniel commented.

"Who did not? Your father served Loghain during his time as regent and had impressed the Queen herself. So many good things were in store for your family." Reign sighed heavily. "But now look at where things are."

They fell into silence, Nathaniel not wanting to say anything. He knew the Bann wanted think this was all affecting him, angering him so silence seemed the best option.

"It is most unfortunate that Anora is no longer ruling. Many wrongs would be made right, I assure you of that."

"How so?" he prompted quietly.

"Well, for starters I expect she would handle the grave injustices done to the Howe family and name. Restore what has been taken." he said. "Our King is so inexperienced and these times are so troubled. I fear for Ferelden."

"Perhaps he will learn." answered Nathaniel

Bann Reign scoffed. "Dear young Howe, he is not knowledgeable of court life, he has only the education given to him by the Chantry and is, I fear, being led by the Cousland woman even now. And she serves others!"

"I only stopped you to tell you this." Bann Reign lowered his voice before continuing "I appreciate the things you have endured at that her hands and see the injustices done to your family by her and the King." Reign leaned in again "You have a friend in me, in many others as well. Perhaps better days are ahead."

Bann Reign stood abruptly and bowed preparing to leave.

"Bann Reign, please wait a moment." Nathaniel said "Is there something that I may do for you, to show my appreciation?"

Bann Reign smiled, reminding him of a jackal. "You are so much like your father. I believe there is."


	19. Between Us

Between Us

Nathaniel softly knocked on her door certain that Juliette had gone to bed. He had spent almost an hour speaking with Bann Reign and the hour had been quite late when he had departed to see Arl Eamon. He knew she would be sleeping, he was sure of it, but he wanted to tell her what had happened.

"Come in." he heard her answer.

He opened the door and saw her seated in the large stuffed chair closest to the fire. Her hair was down and he could see it was almost done drying. She had on a long nightgown. Her feet were tucked under her and she had a book opened and in her lap.

"Nathaniel! I was starting to worry!"

He smiled at her, happy that she had been concerned. "Miss me, then?" he asked.

Juliette smiled at him and looked away. "Maybe" she looked back at him, still grinning "or maybe I was thinking you were knocked out and hidden in a whorehouse, who knows?"

He remembered her head injury and frowned. "How are you feeling?" he came and sat in the chair next to hers.

"I'm fine, Anders knows what he's doing, as you can attest." she looked at him and her face changed. "What is it? What has happened, you look, disturbed."

"Bann Reign stopped me on my way back. He had many interesting things to say." he told her.

"Anything that helps us know our theory is a good one?" she asked

"Our theory is spot on. There is a plot to remove the King." Nathaniel took a deep breath. "And I've been recruited to help it along."

"Oh goody!" Juliette smiled at him. "What did he say to hook you?"

"That's all you have to say?" Nathaniel asked.

"To what?"

"I just told you the man has asked me to take part in a plot to depose the king and you say, 'oh goody?" he was amazed. "Aren't you curious if I am tempted?"

"No." she answered with certainty

"No?" his voice rising.

"Why are you getting angry that I know you wouldn't do something like that?" Juliette looked genuinely confused. "No, I don't think you were tempted. That's not who you are."

"And you just, what, know that?" Nathaniel asked.

"Yes, I do."

"The rest of Ferelden would readily put me in with the despots and you don't even blink?"

"Are we back to this again? Truly?" she shook her head. "Do you not understand that I trust you? I trust you with well, everything, actually. I care for you very much, Nate and I know you. End of story." And she shrugged for good measure. "Now tell me what the swine said before I make you!"

Nathaniel laughed softly and looked at her.

"End of story, Nate." Juliette said, seeing he wanted to ask another question.

Nathaniel let it drop.

"Bann Reign feels great sympathy for my family at the murder of my father. He is horrified that I am serving the vile woman who killed him and thinks you are still with the king." he paused watching her smile fade as she listened. "He wants me to find any evidence I can, by means of searching your things or anything else I deem necessary, that you are influencing or outright directing the king in any government matter."

"Maker's Breath." she sat back. "He said that about your father?"

Nathaniel brushed that aside. "He thinks that he can prove you really run things and thereby give enough ammunition to Anora. Bann Ceorlic will then call for a Landsmeet. We were right Jules."

"I can't believe he revealed all that. Why would he trust you with such damning information?"

"I'm my father's son, or so he said. He assumes that I hate you, would do anything to destroy you."

Juliette watched Nathaniel for a minute and then came to her feet.

"Nate, I've never explained what happened that night. What happened between your father and I." she paced the room, vibrating with energy. "I know you can never forgive me for it but I will tell you everything you want to know."

Nathaniel stared at her amazed at where her mind was.

"Not forgive you? You think I blame you? Jules" but she interrupted him first.

"I would understand completely. He was your father." she said "I know what it's like. I know you loved him." Her chin trembled slightly. "I'll tell you anything you want."

Nathaniel couldn't take it anymore. He got to his feet and was at her side instantly. He put his hand out and touched her cheek, lifting her chin so she would have to look at him.

"That, Juliette Eleanor Cousland, is madness." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I do not blame you."

She stood there looking up at him. His hand resting against her cheek as his fingers lingered in her hair.

"I'm sorry, Nate." She whispered.

He shook his head, his ebony hair grazing his shoulder and his thumb ran along her cheekbone.

"No more of this. You have nothing to be sorry for." He needed her to believe him. "You survived, thank the Maker and his insanity is over with."

A tear spilled over and ran into his thumb. "I would never hurt you Nate. I'm so sorry."

"Hush." he pulled her into his arms. "Jules, I have long since worked this out for myself and for us."

She lifted her head to see his face.

"End of story, Jules. Alright?" he continued to caress her cheek. She nodded, a shudder running through her and he knew she was calming. He held her close.

He kept her to him until he felt her settle.

"Did I hear you say, when I arrived, that you, uh, care for me 'very much'? he asked softly.

She looked up at him, her head still against his chest and smiled. "You did."

"That, Jules, makes me very happy." and he smiled at her before lowering his head to kiss her.

The kiss was different than last time. This kiss was deep and slow and he felt them within it. When it ended she reached up and touched his face.

"That, Nate, makes me very happy too."


	20. True Colors

True Colors

Alistair looked at the council members seated around him and wondered how things had changed so quickly. A year ago at the Landsmeet he had won their votes and their confidence.

Now, four of the council members were guilty of treason, perhaps more. The plan that Juliette had agreed to a little over a week ago had been more fruitful that he and Eamon had hoped.

His own spies and investigators had been able to verify Juliette's suspicions. A quick search of Anora's rooms in Fort Drakon had revealed scraps of encoded paper. That, when coupled with a cipher that a spy had located several weeks earlier while searching Bann Reigns home in the Bannors, revealed most of what they needed to know.

Her jailor had been questioned and admitted to transporting the messages. A money lender known to be one of Reign's had been paying the man a tidy sum with each note delivered and returned. Eamon had concrete evidence that Anora had been actively involved with the conspirators. She too then would join these others at the gallows.

So now, the final pieces were in place.

He looked at Juliette, this time seated in the center of the U. She was looked beautiful sitting here in front of him. Juliette had always managed to be more than anyone expected. He had somehow forgotten that.

After she had departed Denerim he had spent many long nights rethinking what had happened between them. He tried to convince himself that his feelings for her had not been as intense as he had believed. He reasoned that the circumstances that had brought them together had heightened his lust and love for her. But that first sight of her when she arrived and was speaking with Eamon had brought the truth back front and center. Despite the distance and time he loved her still. Not asking her to be his wife and setting aside the worries about an heir was his greatest mistake.

Juliette was laughing at something that Oghren was saying and she glanced in his direction, the smile full on her lips. He found himself smiling back at her.

He prayed she would be willing to let him rectify it.

He stood, the room became quiet and the councilors returned to their chairs.

"Thank you. I want to return to the business at hand so that we may end today." Alistair said.

"Warden Commander, you have explained the circumstances of the talking darkspawn in Amaranthine. I would like to invite those with questions to speak now so that this matter may be closed." he said, giving the floor to the council.

"Warden Commander, I understand that the rebuilding of the city is going more quickly than expected." said Arlessa Helena from the West Hills. "You have many skilled workers at your disposal?"

"Yes Arlessa. I have been very fortunate to employ a remarkable master stone mason, who in fact hails from Orzammar."

"Would you be willing to lend them to the West Hills when you have completed your repairs?"

Juliette smiled and nodded. "I shall be happy to extend your invitation."

"You had mentioned that your recruitment was improved." said Arl Wulff. "Are most of these recruits conscripted or are they volunteers?"

"Wardens do have the Right of Conscription, yes Arl Wulff. But no, it is not something done regularly."

"Then why did you conscripted Warden Howe?" asked Bann Reign.

Juliette turned her head to face him.

"Warden Howe was charged with a crime. His conscription overrode his punishment." Juliette answered with precision.

"Yes, you do dispense justice as the Warden Commander. That would make sense." Reign nodded his head before launching further "You wield quite a lot of power in Amaranthine and many other places as well. It is a testament to our King's faith in you."

"I have worked hard to serve the crown and Ferelden, Bann Reign."

"You do indeed seem to have, uh, earned the King's favor. You are a source of advice for him I am sure." Reign gave a slight bow toward Alistair. "May I ask, is Weisshaupt aware of your, closeness with the King?"

"What are you about Reign?" asked Arl Eamon.

"I mean no insult to our king, forgive me majesty, but I have great concerns that the Warden Commander has become unchecked. Her influence can be found anywhere in Ferelden, even the smallest of towns bards sing her name." Bann Reign said. "I am concerned that this council is allowing the matter of her negotiating with, what could be considered a representative of the darkspawn, to go unaddressed!"

"You find her answers unsatisfactory?" prodded the King. "What would you have her do to satisfy you?"

Bann Reign stood. "She tells us her version of events. No one outside her party can provide verification." he glared at her. "Similar to the events with Ser Cautherien and others, such as Bann Esmerelle. Were those people guilty of the crimes she said? How are we to know? The Warden Commander has many things around her that cannot be confirmed by others and yet her power grows."

"Bann Reign, take your seat." said Arl Eamon. Alistair sat forward in his chair.

"No, Eamon." Alistair rose. "You have the floor Reign, you may speak your mind. You believe that the Commander is what?"

Reign hesitated. He turned his head, gauging the faces of the rooms, unable to discern the mood.

"I only meant to say that the Warden Commander has overstepped her place by allowing that creature to go free, within Ferelden." He said. "She has a record of making important decisions and taking significant action without involving this government. Releasing the 'Architect' is a decision the crown should have made!"

Bann Reign shifted where he stood. "I find it distressing that the council allows this to go on. I wonder at the strength of this assembly that she remains unchecked and unchallenged. Who is leading who?"

Alistair waited for Reign to sit and spoke. "Bann Reign I have been aware of your concerns regarding the Warden Commander for some time. I expect that is why you have paid to have her every move watched in the last few weeks and why she was taken from MY palace by one of your men and held."

Reign sputtered. "No! You're Majesty, you are"

"Misinformed?" Alistair smirked. "I think not. I fear you will find me remarkably well informed, Bann Reign." Alistair stood and began walking slowly toward Reign. "For example, I know that you funded Bann Esmerelle's little plot to kill the Warden Commander with a large smuggling operation in Amaranthine. I know that peasants at a revolt at Vigil's Keep were remarkably well armed. I also know that you have engaged the Lady Anora in conspiring against me and have actively slandered my royal name to support your plot".

"Your Majesty, I must protest, it is clear to me that someone with evil intent has persuaded you of these things, but I am innocent of these accusations!"

Alistair stood at the side of Reign's chair.

"I expect that now would be as good a time as any to inform you all that as of this morning the arrests of various traitors began," Bann Reign came to his feet and backed up bumping into a guard. "starting with the Lady Anora but also including Ser Jasper and you will also notice that Bann Ceorlic is not with us today either. Bann Reign, you have been working very hard to put Anora on my throne and for that you will be joining them." Alistair nodded and the guard took Reign's arm.

"NO! NO! You're Majesty! These are lies! I would never betray you!" Reign kicked and struggled against his guards. "She is at fault! The King is influenced by the whore! She has tricked you all!"

Nathaniel strode across the chamber in an effort to reach Reign.

Reign misunderstood what Nathaniel was intending. "Howe! Help me! The filthy bitch killed your father! Tell them she is the King's own whore! Tell" and he fell silent for Nathaniel had finally reached him. Reign's nose was pouring blood down the gaudy vest he was wearing but his struggling ceased. The guards had little trouble removing him from there.

"Thank you." Juliette said to him as she came to his side.

The council chamber was teeming with tension. King Alistair raised his hands for quiet.

"Please. The charges against the Bann as well as Lady Anora and the others are being made public. Should any of you wish to review them, Arl Eamon will be more than willing to discuss this." the council listened, "However, I think that events being what they are, we shall adjourn for the day."

The council began working their way towards the doors, voices swelling in frantic conversation at the events.

"Warden Commander Cousland, please stay a moment." The king called.

Juliette looked at the others and nodded. "I'll meet you back at our rooms." Nathaniel hesitated a moment and then turned to follow the other men out.

In a few moments the room had emptied, with the exception Arl Eamon, herself and Alistair.

Juliette waited.

"Well, that was interesting to say the least." Alistair quipped. "Nothing more fun that a good council meeting."

Juliette laughed "I think that I will stick to darkspawn, if you don't mind, your Majesty."

Alistair looked at her for a moment and then turned to Eamon.

"It's in your capable hands now, Eamon. The Commander practically put a bow on this one."

"She did indeed. Warden Commander you have again proven yourself extremely valuable to Ferelden. Thank you." Eamon turned and bowed to Alistair. "I shall speak with my secretary and see what reports have come from Drakon." Eamon left the room.

"Juliette." Alistair walked to her "I am sorry that he said those things. I would not want to see you hurt." he sighed. "I was glad to see Howe got a shot in. Wish it could have been me."

"Nathaniel is, uh, protective." Juliette said. "As far as what Reign said, well, there are plenty who will believe what they want."

Alistair nodded his head and reached out for her hand.

"Juliette can you forgive me?"he asked. "I know that I made a real mess of things after the Landsmeet."

She looked at him. Was he serious?

"Alistair, it's been a little over a year since then. Don't bother about it."

"I have to, since it was the stupidest thing I've ever done, and let's be honest, I have done PLENTY of stupid things." he said sincerely.

"You made a good choice."

"Do you really believe that? I hurt you. I hurt us. I regret it more than I can say."

"If we are being honest, then let's say this. You broke my heart, you didn't hurt us, you ended us and I regret it too."

"Then would you be willing to stay here a bit longer, with me?" Alistair shifted his position so that he was leaning into her. His face, the one she had mourned, so very close to hers. She could smell his skin and her memory assailed her with so many thoughts. Her heart jumped, knowing he wanted her again.

"No." she breathed, stepping to the side and avoided his kiss. She heard him sigh raggedly.

"Juliette, please. I know I was wrong. Seeing you here, it has been almost more than I can bear." He came around to stand in front of her again, hope in his eyes. "I love you. I never should have walked away. Can you not see that?"

"Alistair. I regret the things that happened to us. That it ended the way it did. You and I were better than a public fight and scowls. I loved you so very much and I was angry and so hurt." Juliette said feeling her throat tighten. "But you were right. I knew that then and I know it now. You are king and a good one. This is who you were meant to be." her hand reached for him. "I don't fit this life. More than that, I don't want it."

His face fell and a part of her heart lurched. Even now, she did not want to see him hurting.

"Do you still love me?" he whispered.

"Not the way you need me to or the way you deserve." She answered softly and brushed away a tear. "I am your friend Alistair and I want your happiness. You can always rely on me."

"Rely on you…."he smiled weakly his gaze averted. "I want more than that."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Alistair looked at her and she saw it in his eyes, the sorrow and regret. She knew he was in pain and was sorry for it. "Perhaps the sooner I depart the better."

He stepped away from her and nodded. "Yes, perhaps. I suppose I have much to do." He began walking to the door and stopped. "Juliette, thank you for coming here, for letting yourself be subjected to all of this."

Juliette gave him a brief smile. "Alistair, you will always have my friendship and my support, always."

He left the room.


	21. Departure

Departure

It took the next two days for the staff to prepare the Warden Commander and her staff for their departure. Juliette spent the time finalizing her information for Arl Eamon and sending responses to Seneschal Varel's missives.

She and Nathaniel took the opportunity to walk together through the large outer gardens of the palace. They talked of everything, the barriers between them all but gone. Sitting together that evening after dinner she worked up the courage to tell Nathaniel about her conversation with Alistair.

"I need to tell you something, about the conversation that I had with Alistair after the council meeting."

Nathaniel leaned closer to her, listening. "Go on."

"Eamon stayed for a brief time, but Alistair wanted to speak with me alone."

"Yes." he said, his eyes darkening.

"He asked me to stay here, with him." Juliette said quietly. "He apologized for ending things and that he loves me." she paused watching his face fill with anger, his eyes flare. "Nate, I just thought you should know. I don't mean to make you angry."

"Why would THAT make me angry? And what, may I ask, did you tell HIM?" he was fairly shaking in rage.

Juliette was shocked. He had really misunderstood.

"I said no you boob!" she said loudly. "I can't believe you!" but he was still scowling. "Nate, I told him that it had been hard when he ended it but that I wasn't in love with him. I turned him DOWN. Is that clear enough for you?"

"You said no?" he asked. "You turned him down?"

"Yes, I turned him down!" She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at him. "Honestly, why is it the men I fall for are all ASSES?"

Nathaniel stood there, his mouth in a tight line. She continued to glare at him and finally turned her back and began walking away. He realized that she was right but he had his dander up and spent another minute settling down.

"Alright, I apologize. Of course you would turn him down." Nathaniel said from behind as he tried to catch up with her. They were in the peach orchard and he had to duck limbs as he tried to keep up with her. "Jules, damn it woman wait! Ouch!"

Juliette looked behind her to see him on his backend. He obviously hadn't ducked fast enough. She giggled. "Are you alright?"

"Yes blast it. Why the hell did you come in here anyway?" he said rubbing his forehead.

She laughed again, "I didn't know the trees attacked." Juliette lowered herself next to him. "Let me see." And she took his chin into her hands, examining the bump.

"It really hurts. A lot." he grumbled.

"Aww. Perhaps I should kiss it for you?" and she gently kissed the bump. "Better?"

"Much thank you. I bumped my cheek too."

Juliette smiled and bent to carefully kiss his cheek. She leaned back a bit and raised an eyebrow in question.

"And my lip is a little sore."

"Ah. Well, we can't have that." and she smiled and watched his eyes as she kissed his top lip very slowly.

His arms came around her waist and he pulled her to him, deepening the kiss. He felt a giggle escape her mouth.

"Are you laughing at my kiss ma'am?"

Juliette laughed and wiggled in his lap to get up. "Of course not! I would not laugh at a wounded man."

"I think you do." he said, his arms tightening to keep her there.

"And if I am, what would you do about it?" she smiled at him wiggling between giggles.

"I'll show you." and he pulled her in again, kissing her until he knew he had her full attention. Nathaniel slowed the kisses and tucked her further into his arm, loving the feel of her in them. He heard her sigh.

"Not laughing anymore I see." he smiled down at her.

"No." she said softly. "I am sorry that I didn't explain what happened in a better way, Nate."

"Oh, I expect I could have listened a bit better too." he sighed, "I will admit that sometimes I can be a bit, let's say rash, when it comes to you."

"Rash? I think the owners of the Gnawed Noble would say it can be a bit more than rash." she laughed gently.

He laughed and it rumbled in her ear. "Let's say then, that I am very happy with the answer you gave the King."

"I am ready to go home with you Nate." she said snuggling into his arms further.

"As am I."

They returned to the main gallery where the head maid told Juliette that they had been able to send out the correspondence and luggage cart earlier that afternoon.

"They won't get too far by tonight but least they are underway. Good Evening Ma'am."

"Shall we find Oghren and Anders then? We could leave at first light." Nathaniel said.

So they walked together and located Anders. Nathaniel went in search of Oghren, who Anders said was in the soldier mess. Juliette and Anders sat talking in the main gallery while they waited for their return.

"SO, Commander!" Anders said dramatically. "How are, uh, things?"

"Things are, uh fine." she smiled."What are you getting at Anders?"

"I'm getting at you and our tall archer with the big muscles and long hair. What IS going on between you two?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Anders, really, you are such a snoop!" she laughed.

"Of course I am. What does that have to do with it?" he said. "Anyone with an eye in their head can see you two kids have taken a liking to one another. I'm just asking how the liking is going, that's all.

Juliette smiled at him. "It's going just fine, thanks."

"Good, cause between Oghren's ass and you two not speaking, the ride here was just shy of scarier than the Revered Mother's hairy mole."

Juliette fell into laughter and Anders beamed at her.

"You and he make a good set, Commander."

"I think so too." she said.

Nathaniel and Oghren returned a few minutes later and they all agreed to depart as early as they could the following morning. Anders winked a big wink at her and then said his good nights, Oghren waved as he headed to his room.

"What was Anders about?" Nathaniel asked her.

"He likes us not arguing and avoiding one another." Juliette answered.

"Smart mage."

They arrived at her door and he kissed her on her cheek saying good night. He watched as she shut the door and listened until he heard her lock thrown.

Nathaniel returned to his rooms and finished gathering the items for his pack. He was anxious for the next day to come, ready to return to the Vigil, ready to pursue his feelings for Juliette further.

He was still unsure of how to proceed but knew that if he had his way that he would soon be forced to speak with Fergus. It would be difficult and in truth, probably not go very well, but he would honor her by seeking her brother's blessing first. It was a very real possibility that Fergus would refuse his offer for Juliette, but he would not be deterred.

Completing the tasks at hand he undressed and prepared for sleep. Climbing in to the bed he snuffed the candle. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he replayed their brief argument in the gardens.

"She called me an ass." laughing he fell asleep smiling and dreamed of peaches.


	22. An Understanding

An Understanding

The sun had broken through the overcast clouds high above the city but the chill was still intense.

"What is with this weather? I hate the blasted cold!" complained Oghren.

"Seems like we've had this conversation before, haven't we? I could cast something, warm you up a bit." Anders offered.

"You just keep your warming up bits to yourself mage."

"His ass will warm up soon as we are underway." Nathaniel said and Anders laughed.

Juliette was checking her horse and pack and so they didn't see her smile at their banter. She was very much looking forward to leaving Denerim.

"Commander, uh, looks like the king is headin' this way." Oghren said.

Juliette turned and saw that he was correct. Alistair was bounding down the steps toward the livery.

"I wanted to thank you all again, and wish you safe journey!" he said as he arrived.

"Thank you, your Majesty. We were happy to help." Juliette said politely. Alistair looked at her for a moment and then turned to Nathaniel.

"I also wanted to thank you myself, Warden Howe. I realize that you had a lot to do with helping the Commander in this and am pleased you did so."

"Thank you, your Majesty."

"May I speak with you a moment?" Alistair asked Nathaniel. Alistair did not wait for an answer but walked into the stable. Nathaniel and Juliette exchanged confused glances before he followed.

"Leave us please." the King ordered and the stable staff cleared the building.

"I also wanted to say that I owe you an apology. I questioned Juliette's choice to conscript you and you have proven me very wrong." Alistair said. "I wanted you to know that you will no longer be lumped in with past events."

Nathaniel was torn. The King was being very gracious to him. He did not need to tell Nathaniel any of this let alone do so in person. He was honored by the gesture but at the same time wanted to smash his face in for his presumption with Juliette. Suddenly, Nathaniel knew what he needed to say.

"May I speak freely, sire?"

"You may."

"I appreciate you speaking to me directly. It is an honor to think that my king is willing to consider that I may not be, shall we say, as my father was." Nathaniel put his hands behind his back. "I assure you that I am far from it. It is my desire to serve as I best can and I hope that someday people may not think of him when they hear my name."

"That being said sire, I must also say something that may change your opinion of me altogether."

Alistair raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. "Is that so? Please continue then."

"You used Juliette. You knew that she would come back to Denerim if you asked her and she did." Alistair's face changed, his eyes narrowing. "It is who she is, one of the best parts about her actually and she will always be so. I will tell you that I do not intend to let you manipulate that. She is not a pawn, this is your kingdom sir and you will have to let her go."

Nathaniel stopped speaking and waited for the King to respond.

Alistair looked at Nathaniel for a long time, his eyes angry. He paced a bit back and forth and then stopped in front of Nathaniel.

"You love her?" he asked.

"I do." Nathaniel confessed.

"Does she love you?"

"I do not know. You would have to ask her that question. I hope that she does."

"Let me tell you something then." Alistair said looking fierce. "Don't ever stop. Don't ever let anyone or anything tell you there is something nobler or more decent. Don't let circumstances separate you, don't let politics or promises or opinions of others deter you. Never let her go, man." Alistair drew a ragged breath. "For I can tell you that doing so will be the greatest mistake you will ever make and the greatest pain you will ever endure."

Nathaniel absorbed every word Alistair said and understood the man like never before. He was sorry for him and it made his resolve to love Juliette even stronger.

"I won't. If she will have me, I will marry her." Nathaniel told him.

Alistair nodded. "Fergus will be an obstacle. He is a man who has suffered greatly at your father's hands."

"Yes your Majesty, I understand."

"Safe journey then, Howe." and Alistair strode past him. Nathaniel waited to let the man get ahead.

Nathaniel left the stable in time to watch the King shake Anders's hand and share a few crass comments with Oghren about his steed. He watched as he turned finally to Juliette. Juliette took his hand and gently hugged him good bye. The king stepped back and helped her mount.

Nathaniel approached the group and mounted his horse quickly. He nodded at the King.

"It was an honor your Majesty." Nathaniel said, meaning every word.

"Remember what I said, Howe."

Alistair stepped up a few steps and raised his hand. "Farewell my fellow Warden's. May the Maker watch over you all."

They left Denerim and headed for home.


	23. A Change Of Pace

A Change of Pace

Much to the group's pleasure the next several days were easy going. The roads north were changing for the worse but not such that any real difficulty was met.

They reached the half way point, a village known as Heathcliffe, a day ahead of schedule. Nathaniel was point that day and he led the group to the town's blacksmith, having made arrangements when last passing through for the horses to board for the night.

The blacksmith was a kind and elderly man. He shook Nathaniel's hand with enthusiasm. Smiling at the lot of them he invited them to dismount and called to a young boy to help gather the animals.

"Warden Commander, 'tis an honor to serve you again! I had an opportunity to procure some better quality feed since I knew you would be through again." he boasted. "The horses should enjoy their stay."

"Thank you sir, it was kind of you to do so." Juliette said while opening her pack. She pulled a few silvers out. "For your trouble," she handed it to him.

"Always an honor, Commander, always!" and the man bowed his head. "Its good timing you have, by the way. There's to be a wedding this afternoon and the whole of the village will be celebrating in the village center. I'm sure the bride's family would be honored if you would attend."

Juliette looked at the other wardens and smiled. "A celebration? That would be a refreshing change of pace. Yes, please, let the family know we would like to attend."

The blacksmith smiled and hurried off. Nathaniel and Juliette walked side by side as Oghren and Anders walked ahead toward the inn.

"I hope there are enough rooms, considering there may be more visitors than normal" Nathaniel commented. "If not, I suppose we can make camp outside of the village."

Juliette nodded and smiled. "I must admit I am looking forward to going. It's been a while since there was a reason to celebrate." she sighed and then smiled. "Perhaps you will indulge me with a dance?"

"I would indulge you in most anything, Jules." and he reached out to hold her hand. They arrived at the inn a moment later, to find Anders and Oghren had already informed the keeper of their arrival.

"It appears that we will be bunking together." Anders said. "The keeper says that he only has two rooms left. What do you want to do, Commander?"

"Oh. That's unfortunate." Juliette said. The inn keeper, a man named Tim, if she recalled correctly, stepped into sight. He walked over.

"Warden Commander, you have my most humble apologies. I've been attempting to rearrange some folks, I think I can perhaps obtain one more room for you but I fear more would be impossible."

"No, Tim, no. We can make a camp outside of the village and take our meals here. There is no reason to displace anyone." Juliette sighed, "Though I was looking forward to a bath."

"I could make arrangements for you and the wardens to have a room for you to bath and dress in. It would save you having to leave the village." Tim offered.

"No, but thank you, we will need the time to set up so it makes little sense to take the room. May we still get a noon meal? I know it's a bit early."

The keeper ushered them into the dining room and hurried off to find his cook. After a hearty meal, the group paid their bill and departed the inn. A big round man hustled after them, calling to Juliette, "Warden Commander! Warden Commander a moment please!"

Juliette turned and paused, waiting for the man to reach her. He huffed as he arrived.

"Warden Commander Cousland! Thank you for stopping." he wiped his brow. "I fear I am not in the shape I was in my youth." He panted. "I wanted to introduce myself, my Lady. I am Ser Cedric Younce and I am the father of the bride!"

"Well met sir! I offer our congratulations to your families and thank you for your greeting."

"I must tell you that I had the privilege to have known your dear mother, the Lady Eleanor. I assisted her years ago with a large donation of books to the university in Denerim. A most gracious lady," Ser Cedric said. "I was sorry to hear of her passing."

Juliette could sense Nathaniel's unease and sought to move the conversation forward.

"Thank you for you kind words, Ser Cedric."

"I would consider it a great honor if you and your party would join us to celebrate my daughter's wedding." said Ser Cedric. "We shall gather at the Chantry at three o'clock."

"We would be pleased to do so, thank you. We will be setting our camp in the clearing beyond the hills there. We shall have to hurry as the time approaches, so I beg you to excuse us." Juliette said politely.

The proud father bowed and thanked them before turning to hustle away.

"I hope they serve whatever he's been eatin' cause he seems to have enjoyed his fair share." observed Oghren.

Anders laughed, "I just hope his daughter takes after her mother, or that the groom has sturdy legs."

They continued up the hill and arrived at the clearing a short time later. Oghren began rolling out the tents in their usual circle and Anders departed for the trees to gather wood. Juliette pulled the small spade from her pack and she and Nathaniel began to create a fire pit. Quickly and efficiently the camp was erected.

Juliette tossed the spade to the side and looked around. Anders answered her unspoken question.

"If you walk through that patch of trees, about two hundred feet out there is a small pool that feeds the stream. Saw a little waterfall and everything." he reached into his pack for his expensive scented soaps and held them up to her. "Perfect for a bath."

Juliette whole face brightened. "Thank you Anders, I am filthy." Juliette took the soaps and hurried from the clearing, grabbing her pack along the way.

Nathaniel was dropping a load of firewood at the edge of the camp when he saw her hurrying off.

"Where is she going?" he asked Anders.

"Oh, she's off for a bath. There's a perfect little pond just that way."

"A pond? She doesn't swim very well." Nathaniel frowned.

"She's bathing, not swimming. She's a big girl Nathaniel, she'll be fine." Anders said. "Really, you worry too much."

Juliette arrived at the pool and was thrilled to see that Anders was right. The trees broke around it and warm sunshine was glowing over the water. She saw the little waterfall and thought it would make quick work of washing her hair.

She quickly striped off her clothing, shivering at the chill in the fall air. Knowing that the water would be frigid she made sure she had exactly what she needed laid out before she stepped in. The water was colder than she had thought.

"Maker! Oh wow." her teeth chattering already she held her breath and stepped into the center of the pool. The water was like needles and she surfaced gasping at the sensation. Shivering she quickly soaped her body and hair, her regret at declining the kind innkeepers offer increasing tenfold. Back under she went to rinse, popping back up with a yelp.

"Juliette!" she heard Nathaniel call. What was he doing here?

"Wh-what? G-g-g-o away Nate!" she yelled. She saw him standing at the ponds edge and thought it was a good thing she was in the deeper water.

"I wanted to check on you, you didn't answer me. You don't swim well." Nathaniel said frowning.

"I was washing!" she chattered. "I'm done now and frozen solid. Go to the camp so I can get out!"

Nathaniel was still frowning at her.

"Nate! I'm g-g-g-going numb!" and he seemed to see she meant it. He turned his back and walked several steps away.

"I will not look but I will not leave you either. The water is deep."

Juliette glowered at his back but stood up anyway. She was desperate to be out of the cold water.

Reaching the edge as quickly as possible she grabbed her towel and began to dry. She was shaking so violently she almost lost her balance. Nathaniel still had his back turned.

"I was fine, Nate. You don't have to worry about me all the time." she said through chattering teeth. "But thank you."

"I am unable to help it. Worrying about you is something I'm quite good at." he said.

Juliette had finished dressing and wound the towel around her hair. She smiled at Nate's back and walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I know." she said hugging him. Nathaniel turned around and held her close.

"You are like an ice block, sweetheart." and he began rubbing her arms and back. His hands felt wonderful and her shivering soon stopped.

"Better?" he whispered.

"My lips are chilly." she said smiling up at him.

"I can help you with that."

And he did.

A few minutes later they arrived at camp and she entered her tent to dry her hair and dress. Oghren was sitting on the opposite side of the camp and grunted a hello to Nathaniel. He gestured to Nathaniel to come over.

"So, you two finally figured it out, eh boy?"

"Figured what out, dwarf?" Nathaniel asked sitting down next to him.

"That you do better together than apart." Oghren gave Nathaniel an odd look. "See here, I don't mean to get all mushy on ya but the commander is about the best girl I've ever known. And seein' as you aren't half the blighter everyone thinks you ought to be, I figure you two should enjoy each other while you can." Oghren stood and pointed a finger at him. "But just so we're clear, boy, I'll cut your sac off if you break her heart. Otherwise, have at."

"Thanks Oghren. I think." Nathaniel said smiling. Oghren walked off to his own tent.

Not that much later the group was ready to go. Juliette stepped from her tent in a very simple dress of deep green; it was wrinkled but flattering and would suite the occasion better than breeches and a travel shirt. Her hair was braided loosely and she had a shawl with her. She came to stand next to the fire and looked at them all.

"You boys look very nice. Anders you will have the girls fighting amongst themselves to get at you." Anders patted his hair and smiled.

"Oghren, are your boots, CLEAN? They look very nice indeed!" Juliette said with genuine surprise.

"Yea well, I'll make sure not to vomit on them later on then."

Anders and Oghren began walking out of the clearing as Nathaniel walked around the pit to her side, offering his arm.

"You look rather handsome." she smiled at him.

"Perhaps the girls will have something else to fight about?" he teased.

"Not if they want to survive the night." she said her eyes narrowing. "You have promised me a dance, if you will recall."

He bent and placed a kiss on her hair.

"You smell like Anders." he complained.

"Anders lent me his soaps." she argued. "I think it smells nice."

"I like the way you smell, a lot actually." Nathaniel said. "Now it's all mixed up, you and he."

"Well, don't get too mixed up, I don't know if he will appreciate your kisses the way I do."

They arrived at the village in time to enter the Chantry with the rest of the guests and tried to sit a bit to the back. Ser Cedric had other ideas though and had them sit almost in the very front.

Shortly the wedding vows were exchanged and the Revered Mother was blessing the union. The guests exited the Chantry and followed the new couple up the path to the village center where several large tables were laden with food and drink and surrounded a large platform. People were laughing and the mood was high.

Juliette felt herself falling into the spirit of the evening as the worries of Denerim and Alistair slipped away. Tonight she was celebrating happiness with these people, two dear friends and the man she loved, not that she had told him that yet. Perhaps tonight she would.

She laughed as the celebration began.


	24. To Be of Good Cheer

To Be of Good Cheer

The warden's watched the wedded couple's families raise toasts of fine wine and offer good wishes. Soon the bride's father, Ser Cedric called everyone's attention and two men brought out a large roasted boar on an ornate platter. The ale kegs were tapped and the musicians could be heard tuning their instruments. Servants went round lighting lamps as the earlier evenings of the season darkened the sky. It filled Juliette with happy memories.

The musicians began in earnest and the dance floor was flooded with smiling people. The fiddler of the players began a familiar old reel and the dancers broke into lines and followed the steps with enthusiasm. Juliette passed Anders and then found her hand in that of the new groom.

She looked and was glad to see he had sturdy legs.

Oghren was seated by the ale keg and was soon enjoying a good arm wrestling match. Cheers from the men surrounding him would rise and fall and she could hear his booming voice calling for challengers.

The people were warm and inviting. The food and drink flowed freely. Juliette sought out the bride and groom between dances and offered her congratulations. She gifted them with five sovereigns, much to their happiness.

Nathaniel was watching her closely. He knew that this night would make her nostalgic for a different time.

Highever Castle had always been a place of music and dance. The Teyrn Cousland and his wife had opened their hall whenever the opportunity to celebrate arose. Each year in honor of their wedding anniversary they would open the castle to all and host an elaborate banquet. Musicians and dancers, artists and bards would come from all over and add to the event. Her parents would dance and sing with the lot and their obvious love for one another, coupled with their generosity had endeared them to all of Highever.

He could remember Juliette dancing with her father and brother. She and Delilah would hold hands and spin to the music, falling over with laughter. It was something that he remembered fondly. He realized looking at her now that he would very much like to share days like those with her again.

A gentle lover's song was begun by the singer and Nathaniel led her out for a slow turn. Juliette smiled at him as her body fell into the dance with his.

"I was thinking of the anniversary parties your parents would host." he said gaining her attention. "I would look forward to the next one before the first ended."

Juliette smiled and nodded. "They loved planning those banquets. I remember them sitting alone in a corner pouring over the details, laughing together at a memory from an earlier one." Her eyes took on a faraway look.

"I'm sorry they are gone, Jules. I miss them." Nathaniel said quietly.

Juliette's eyes shined for a moment and she blinked rapidly and smiled at him, taking a deep breath, "They loved you, Nate." she told him.

Nathaniel took her hand and led her to the edge of the party, under a set of glowing lanterns.

"Jules, if you would have me, I would give you all that." he reached for her other hand.

Juliette looked up at him her eyes full of unshed tears. "Nate, honestly I'm alright, you don't have to"

"I love you Jules," he stopped her. "I love you more than I can say." he gently pulled her to him and she lifter her chin, looking at him, as a tear finally broke free. He caught it with his thumb and dried it.

Juliette looked at him searchingly and finally answered what she couldn't deny. "I love you too "she whispered.

"Will you take me then, Jules?" he asked his voice full of emotion. "Will you be my wife? Dance in the Keep with me until we reach the end of our days?"

"Marry you?" she breathed, looking away.

A shadow crossed his face. "I, I would understand Jules, if you said no, if you wouldn't want my name."

Juliette shook her head. "Oh Nate, I don't care about your name. It's just" and she looked up at him, to say he was asking too soon, that it was too fast, but looking into his eyes, she knew that there was only one answer.

Smiling slowly she nodded her head. "Yes. I will."

Nathaniel eyes went wide. "Yes? You will?" She nodded and he lifted her off her feet and held her. He kissed her under the stars.

The rest of the evening was wonderful. Anders had met a pretty girl who seemed capable of out flirting him and Oghren was well into his cups. Nathaniel danced with her until her feet protested and then he sat with her talking, eating and laughing. It was the happiest either had been in a very long time.

Hours later as they walked back to the camp, Juliette sighed with contentment. Nathaniel was walking at her side, her hand in his. He smiled at her and laughed.

"What?" Juliette asked, smiling at him.

"Nothing, it's just you have made be remarkably happy." he answered. "I had not imagined I would ever be happy again, when I arrived back in Ferelden. Yet here we are."

Juliette stopped him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He kissed her and she responded with such passion, he fought with himself to break the kiss. "I love you Nate." she said softly.

He pulled her close. "I love you. Now let us get home so I may speak with your brother, I find it harder and harder to leave you at your door," looking behind her" or tent flap as it were."

"The sooner the better," she said pulling him in for another kiss "for I may not be able to just let you leave me at my door much longer."


	25. Dire Straits

Dire Straits

Juliette, Nathaniel, Anders, and Oghren arrived at the Vigil three days later. Slowed by the region's first snowfall and chilled to the bone, they arrived late in the day.

Seneschal Varel greeted them at the entrance of the main hall, directing staff to take packs, bring warm tea, and make the commander's rooms ready. Juliette was most grateful for Varel's efficiency.

After the four had eaten, they answered Varel's questions and Juliette handed over a few items of business she had carried with her.

"I was aware you would be arriving soon. The palace sent word ahead of you, though your goods haven't arrived yet." Varel said.

"No, we saw those poor buggers waiting at an abandoned crofter's hut about two days ago," Anders offered. "The cart was unable to push through that slushy mess they call a road. Hopefully another few days and they'll arrive."

"Speaking of arrivals, Commander, your brother the Teyrn sent word he would be arriving sometime this week."

"Good." said Nathaniel.

"Yes, that is good news," she said. Juliette looked at Nathaniel before turning to Varel." Well, then let us make sure we are prepared for his arrival."

"It is already underway Commander. The best guest suite has been opened and the maids are preparing it."

"Thank you, Varel." Juliette stood and the men rose respectfully from the table.

"We can begin catching up on events first thing in the morning. I am afraid that I am beyond comprehending anything right now," she stepped back. "Good night then."

"Yes, Commander," Varel answered. "Welcome home my lady."

She left the hall but not before meeting Nathaniel's eyes and offering him a tiny smile. He could see she was uneasy at the news her brother would soon be arriving.

"Varel, did Teyrn Cousland estimate the day he would arrive?" Nathaniel asked after bidding good night to Anders and Oghren.

"No, only that he anticipated his journey taking three days since he was checking in with his people in the farther reaches of his lands. I would expect him day after tomorrow at the latest."

"Thank you Varel, and good night."

Nathaniel left the hall and headed to his rooms. He thought for a moment about going to Juliette but decided against it, knowing he needed time to consider how to best handle Fergus.

He sank onto his bed and pulled off his boots, tossing them into the corner. He dreaded the coming confrontation with Fergus and he had no doubt that it would be anything less. Fergus was a typical big brother and was protective of Juliette, but there was also the minor obstacle that Fergus hated him.

Nathaniel could hardly blame him for that.

Fergus Cousland had awakened from a horrible fever from injuries of battle to discover that his son and wife were murdered in their own home. His beloved parents were dead alongside them, and his home and people held by the bastard who had committed the act. Had it not been for Juliette and Alistair's success at the Landsmeet, it is possible he would not have regained the lands or his father's title.

Nathaniel understood the rage in Fergus. Nathaniel's father was responsible for all the pain and loss in his life. It was that simple. With Rendon Howe dead, Nathaniel had become the face of what Fergus hated most. Nathaniel didn't believe that he truly thought he had anything to do with the events at Highever, but he was the only Howe available to hate.

Not only was that against him but it also was hardly unreasonable to claim that Nathaniel was no longer worthy of a marriage to Juliette, at least in stature.

Nathaniel was the only surviving son of a disgraced Arl who had murdered many and was a traitor. Therefore he was landless and could offer Juliette no more than a name that had a black mark against it. If he hadn't become a warden he would still probably be wandering the land pick pocketing and searching for work.

Compiling it all made for little hope that Fergus and he would reach an understanding. But an understanding must be found, for not marrying Juliette or loving her in an honorable way, was out of the question.

Nathaniel stood and finished undressing. He crossed the room and washed his face in the basin, feeling the grime of the road come off. Exhausted, he climbed into his bed and snuffed his light. He fell into an anxious sleep.

The next morning he was eating breakfast and speaking with Seneschal Varel when word arrived that the Teyrn's party had been spotted by the west tower. Varel hustled away to prepare the way and a servant was ordered to retrieve the commander from her office.

Nathaniel took a now tasteless last bite of food and offered a quick prayer to the Maker. Juliette walked through the archway and arrived into the hall, her eyes scanning the hall. She spotted him and came directly to him.

Juliette arrived at Nathaniel's side looking flustered and he understood the feeling. It was going to be a very interesting day.

"Nate," she said quietly. "I know this will be hard and I'll follow your lead." She turned her head to check the main doors, and quickly looked back at him, "I love you."

"I love you Jules and I will make this work, I swear it." he said adamantly. Juliette smiled nervously at him and nodded before hurrying off towards the hall's entrance.

A short wait later the noise of the party could be heard in the courtyard and Juliette stepped out to greet her brother. Nathaniel stayed back watching the reunion. Fergus beamed as her lifted her into a bear hug. He gently set her down and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he greeted Varel and introduced his staff. Soon, they were walking arm in arm towards the entrance. Fergus spotted Nathaniel who nodded in greeting. Fergus responded by looking away.

"At least I know where I am starting from." Nathaniel said under his breath.

Juliette and Fergus went directly through the hall to the stairs that led to the upper apartments. He knew that she would want him shown to his rooms and made comfortable before Nathaniel spoke with him.

Nathaniel wanted to allow for a brief visit but he was full of tension and felt charged up. He decided to head to the soldier's training area and see what exercises he could take part in.

Three hours later he left the sparring ring, shirtless and bloodied. But the tension was gone having been replaced by stone- hard resolve. Juliette and he belonged together and he would make Fergus see that.

He bound up the outside stairs, cut through the courtyard and into the main hall. He grabbed a hot roll and crammed it into his mouth. He rounded the corner into the long hall that led to his rooms. He stopped short when he saw Juliette at his door, about to knock. A smile flashed across his face as he slipped up behind her and whispered into her ear, "Who's there?"

Juliette jumped and he caught her, smiling down at her.

"Oh! You scared me!" Juliette laughed at him. "Where have you been?" she asked as she turned around to face him. Her back was against this door. She noticed he was half naked and took a quick breath, her eyebrows going up.

Nathaniel leaned toward her and reached around popping his door open. She tumbled backwards but Nathaniel stepped forward quickly and had his arms around her waist, catching her. He held her like that before slowly pulling her up to her feet.

Her hand touched his bare chest and she let it linger there before slowly running it across his belly. His eyes darkened and his breath hitched. Nathaniel kicked the door shut behind them and he grabbed her, slamming his mouth onto hers. She wound her arms around him as he picked her up, her legs going around his middle. Their kisses were urgent and far from gentle. His hand was running up the inside of her shirt. Gasping she grabbed his hair and pulled it hard.

"Nate!" she panted. "Go talk to Fergus! Now, Nate!"

His eyes were unfocused and she knew that with another kiss his conviction to not bed her until they had married would be forgotten. It was agonizing, but she knew he would be very upset with himself later and she couldn't let that happen.

"Nate."

He was breathing hard but his eyes changed and she knew he was back in control.

"Woman, I want you under me so badly," he growled.

"I know," she shivered. "I know."

Nathaniel lowered her and she stepped away turning her back to him.

"Nate, I want you to talk with Fergus but I want you to know," she turned around to look at him "that if he refuses, I won't give you up. I would marry you regardless of what happens today."

Nathaniel understood what she was actually saying. She was asking him if he could put aside Fergus's refusal, should he be unmovable.

"A good man told me not to let anything come between us, no matter the costs. I will heed his advice, even if Fergus Cousland threatens my very soul."

She smiled at him. "Good. I can't think about losing you," she walked toward the door. "Who told you that, about us I mean?"

"King Alistair." Nathaniel told her.

Juliette stopped short and looked at him, her eyes full of question. "What? Alistair?"

"Another time, Jules," he said gently. "I must get cleaned up and find your brother."

Juliette shook her head and left the room.

Nathaniel quickly changed his ruined breeches and washed. He dressed in a dark blue tunic and his better pair of leather pants. Pulling on his new boots, he was soon ready to go find Fergus.

As he neared the base of the steps that led to the upper apartments, he took a deep breath.

"Here we go."


	26. Impasse

Impasse

Nathaniel Howe, the disgraced son of Arl Rendon Howe, knocked on Teyrn Fergus Cousland's door. A well dressed servant answered and allowed him entrance. Nathaniel was led into the large outer chamber of the luxurious guest apartments. The man disappeared to announce him and returned a moment later, his face rigid.

"I apologize, Warden Howe, but the Teyrn will not receive you."

Nathaniel was annoyed, but not surprised. He looked at the servant and shook his head.

"Well, tell Fergus that I will not accept that, and to get his pompous ass out here."

The man's eyes widened with shock.

"Never mind, I will tell him," and Nathaniel walked past him and through the door to the other rooms.

Fergus Cousland came to his feet from behind a desk.

"Howe, get out of here or I will remove you myself." Fergus barked.

"Not just yet, Fergus. We have something to discuss, and I will not go until we do." Nathaniel answered carefully.

"Get out of here!" Fergus seethed as he came around to the front of the desk, standing toe to toe with Nathaniel.

Nathaniel was pleased to see that he had a good three inches on the man.

"Fergus, I will speak with you. You could try to remove me, but we both know how that would go." he said, leaning over Fergus a bit.

Fergus's eyes narrowed and he stood his ground. "Talk, then get out!"

The servant was standing in the doorway.

"Your Grace, shall I call the guard?" he asked.

"No, I can handle this piece of filth. Go." Fergus waved his hand in dismissal.

"Insults will not get us very far, Fergus."

"I really do not care what you think. Say your piece, Howe."

Nathaniel sighed heavily and began.

"Fergus, I want you to know that I had nothing to do with what happened at Highever. Nothing." he began. "My father was a sick and seditious man who destroyed everything he touched."

Fergus stood still listening.

"I am sorry for what happened to them, Fergus. I am sorry that you have been forced to endure so much at his hands."

"Your father was a murderous piece of waste who only desired power and pain!" Fergus spat into his face. "He was a coward, and a liar, and he was without any honor!"

"I agree," Nathaniel said.

"He slaughtered my boy and wife! He butchered them with relish!" Fergus fumed.

"I know," he said.

"My father's guts were laid out across his own floor, my mother hacked to pieces."

"I know."

"Do you know too, that they just piled them all together, and threw a torch onto their rotting bodies?" Fergus seethed. "Do you know that I have no ashes to have blessed? I have no way to honor my child, my own wife!"

"I do," Nathaniel said.

"Then why are you here, Nate?" Fergus said, losing some of his gusto.

"Because I did not harm them." He paused, allowing his words to absorb. "I would have stopped him, Fergus, had I known. I would have killed him myself if I had to." Nathaniel said. "Your family and home were destroyed. I would have done anything to prevent that, to stop what you and Juliette went through. But I didn't, and I can only ask that you accept my regrets."

"Your regrets?" Fergus scoffed.

"Fergus, you and I have known each other since we were boys. I loved your parents as my own." Nathaniel said solemnly. "I would never have stood idle and allowed those things to happen. I am sorry that I was unable to prevent it."

Fergus stared at Nathaniel for what seemed an eternity and then nodded. Fergus stepped back and walked to the window, looking out.

A quiet settled between the two and Nathaniel allowed it to calm them both.

"Fergus, I need to speak with you, about your sister," Nathaniel said.

"What about her?" Fergus asked.

Nathaniel took a deep breath. "I love her, Fergus. I ask your permission to make her my wife."

Fergus's face contorted. "You WHAT?"

Fergus came barreling at Nathaniel and punched him in the mouth, knocking him back a step and drawing blood.

"You have the audacity to ask if you can MARRY MY SISTER?" he raged. "You think for one moment I would hand her over to you, the son of an insane murderous lecher?"

Nathaniel pushed Fergus back, careful not to hurt him.

"Fergus, we love each other!" Nathaniel answered. "She knows that I had nothing to do with what happened!"

"Has she AGREED to this? Does she know you are here?" Fergus asked.

"Yes, Fergus, she knows I am here, speaking with you." Nathaniel said.

Fergus stormed over to the door and yanked it open.

"Get my sister in here, NOW!" he bellowed and the servant went running.

"Fergus, this is between us, she has nothing to do with our disagreement." Nathaniel said.

"The hell she doesn't! You two must both be mad to think I would let this happen!"

"Damn you, man! It will only hurt her to see us tearing into each other. Leave her alone."

"Hurt her? No, Howe, I would never hurt her. I will not allow you NEAR her!" Fergus bellowed.

Juliette arrived almost immediately; Nathaniel realized she had been waiting in her rooms.

The moment she crossed the threshold, Fergus pounced, "Did you agree to MARRY him?" he seethed, pointing at Nathaniel.

Juliette walked into the center of the room, placing herself between them. "I did."

"Have you lost your mind?" Fergus spit out.

"No, Fergus, I know what I want." Juliette answered calmly.

"You would marry a HOWE? You would take your good name, through it into the muck with his?"

"Fergus, my name has nothing to do with this. I love him." she said

"You love him? Love him?" Fergus looked astonished, and then his eyes changed. "Have you let him climb into your bed?" Fergus accused. "Are you carrying his bastard? Is that what this is?"

Nathaniel's fists closed tight and he came at Fergus.

"Nate!" Juliette stepped toward him and grabbed his arm. "Please, he's angry."

"You call your own sister a whore?" Nathaniel shouted at Fergus.

"Answer me, Juliette!" Fergus said.

Juliette whirled around, her face angry. "No! No Fergus! I have not been with him, and I am not pregnant!" Juliette stepped closer to her brother hey eyes searching his face. "Are you so incapable of remembering that he was once your dear friend? Circumstances have changed, yes! Awful things have happened, yes! But, he is still Nate!"

"Awful things, that's what you call the murder of our entire family?"

Juliette gasped.

"Don't you dare! I was there, Fergus!" she came at Fergus, shoving him hard in his chest. "I was there! I saw their blood, I was covered in it! I smelled the fire and smoke, I watched as our home was destroyed!" Juliette's voice dropped to a harsh whisper. "Don't you ever…NO! I will not let you belittle me about that!"

Fergus was overwhelmed by Juliette's emotion and looked away briefly, nodding. He knew he had gone too far.

"Sister, think about this," his voice quiet as he returned to his argument,"You have the love of the King, Juliette, the King!" Fergus argued. "He would gladly put a crown on your head! You could be a queen, and you want this, this worthless fool?"

"I want the man I love Fergus!" Juliette yelled.

"Fergus, I have made the King aware of my intention to marry Juliette. He made no protest." Nathaniel said.

Juliette turned around and stared at Nathaniel with shock. "You have? When did you speak with him?"

"At our departure, he did not argue." Nathaniel answered.

Juliette nodded and turned to Fergus. She wanted to reason with him and reached for his hand. He pulled away from her.

"Well then, I shall have to rethink my opinion of Alistair," Fergus shook his head." You realize that if you have his son, and I have none, then the Howe's will have everything that Rendon murdered for!" he said. "Have you considered that may be his intent?"

"Fergus, you bastard, you may write our children right out of your damned will, if that is your greatest concern!" Nathaniel yelled.

Juliette looked at Fergus and shook her head sadly. "There will be no children, Fergus, wardens together, it all but promises us none."

Fergus looked at Juliette for a long time and took a shuddering breath.

"So you want to marry a penniless, landless, disgraced man, who cannot even make you a mother?" Fergus asked incredulously. "I will not do this, Juliette. Father would never have allowed it."

"That, Fergus, is dead wrong, and you know it!" Juliette said. "They would have been overjoyed to see me so well loved!"

"Really? By a Howe? By a man who can give you NOTHING?" Fergus laughed without humor. "Yes, they would have rejoiced."

Nathaniel put his hands on Juliette shoulders and gently asked her to go.

"You brother and I will reach an agreement, love." Nathaniel told her.

"Not going to happen, Howe." Fergus said.

Juliette rounded on her brother again. "Fergus, I will marry him without your consent. It will break my heart if you refuse, but I will not live like this! I have no intention of spending my life alone solely to mourn what is gone." Juliette said. Her tone changed to pleading. "Please talk with him, Fergus, please."

Nathaniel took her hand and led her from the suite, before returning and shutting the door. He pulled two chairs to the center of the room and pulled a brandy decanter off of the sideboard.

"Sit Fergus, I will not let either of us cause her any more pain."

"Go to the Maker, Howe." Fergus said.

"Sit down, Fergus, now."


	27. Accord

Accord

Juliette stood on her balcony as dusk crept across the keep. She watched the torch-lighter going about his work and envied him his simple task.

Juliette was completely rattled. She had known that her brother, Fergus, would resist the idea of her and Nathaniel marrying, but felt shaken by the hatred in his eyes. He had been beyond reason, and his anger and pain had nearly broken her heart.

She remembered how straight-laced and serious Oriana had been**.** Upon first meeting her, Juliette had thought Oriana beautiful and polite, but not quite right for her boisterous brother, who loved a good racy joke and a pint.

Juliette had chanced upon the two of them before the wedding. She watched as Oriana laughed at something Fergus said, her whole face lighting up. It was clear, watching them, that Fergus adored her, and she him. Juliette then understood her brother's choice. She had never been so happy for Fergus in her life.

It made her ponder, what she would do if someone simply took Nate away while her back was turned. If someone's ambitions and desires overrode all decency, and they ended the life of the one person she needed most. Juliette shuddered at the thought and realized that while her own suffering had been great, she had not considered the shattering loneliness that Fergus carried. He had woken to find everything he had loved destroyed.

There was a gentle knock on her door and she raced to open it, desperate to see Nathaniel.

It was Fergus. "Juliette, may I come in?" he asked.

Juliette opened the door and stepped out of Fergus's way, allowing him to enter and looked into the hall, expecting Nathaniel to enter.

"He said he would speak with you soon. I asked him to let me talk with you first." Fergus offered in explanation.

"Very well,"she replied, as she closed the door,walking past him and back out onto the balcony.

Fergus spoke first, "Juliette, I am sorry for the way I acted. I was not..." he cleared his throat,"...prepared, for the events of today."

Juliette did not answer; instead, she looked out across the night sky.

"I have to say, Nate seems a decent man," he continued, "He is much like the lad I remember. It seems he did well during his tenure in the Free Marches." Fergus leaned against the railing next to her. "Nate has explained his feelings for you. I can see they are sincere."

She did not speak. In truth, she did not know what to say.

"Is this what you want, Juliette?" Fergus asked quietly.

"Yes Fergus, I love him. I don't want to be without him, ever," she answered, her voice full of emotion.

Fergus looked at her reaching, for her hand.

"This is hard for me, Juliette. I struggle every day at Highever," Fergus blinked and looked away. "But I accept that Nate had no part in it, and that it would be cruel of me to deny you contentment. You have my blessing, then."

Juliette was shocked. "What? I do?" and she threw her arms around him, her heart bursting at the news.

Fergus held her close and let out a 'whoosh' of pent-up breath. "I am glad to see you happy."

"Oh! Fergus, thank you!"

"I love you, baby sister." Fergus said into her hair.

"I love you, Fergus. Things will be happy again, you wait and see."

"I see you have told her then." Nathaniel said from the balcony door.

"Nate!" Juliette went to him and wrapped herself into his arms. He kissed the top of her head.

"See Jules, everything is alright." Nathaniel whispered to her.

Fergus watched them for a moment before interrupting. "You will need to plan a wedding, sister dear. Mother had a trunk set aside for you, for your wedding day."

"She did? I didn't know that." Juliette looked at Fergus. "Did it survive? Might I have it?"

"It did," he told her. "You could marry at Highever, Juliette. It would be proper and fitting."

"No, I don't think that..." Juliette began to refuse, fearing Nathaniel and Delilah's discomfort.

"That would be perfect." Nathaniel told Fergus.

"It's settled then. A month?" he asked his sister. "It would allow me a bit of time to finish the last of the castle repairs, and make ready to give you away. You could come ahead a week or so to finish the details."

Nathaniel knew she wanted to marry much sooner than that, but he had promised her they would do this the right way. The other nobles of Ferelden would expect marrying at Highever, and he knew that Fergus needed this. He also knew it would be a very long month.

The three of them spoke together for another hour, agreeing on a date and a guest list. Juliette had moaned at the idea of inviting the king and nobility, but knew that as the sister of the only Teyrn in Ferelden it was required of them.

xXx

With the hour late and Juliette ready to be alone with Nathaniel, Fergus kissed her goodnight. As she shut the door Nathaniel's arms came around her waist, and she leaned back against him.

"I left that room certain that he would never give his consent, and now he plans a banquet in our honor," Juliette reflected.

"The first of many celebrations for us," Nathaniel said to her.

She turned in his arms and looked at him. "How did you do it?" she asked.

Nathaniel sighed. "It was not easy, but he is your brother, and he loves you very much. I just had to stick it out long enough for him to see wehave that in common."

Juliette stretched onto her toes and kissed him.

"A month is a very long time, Nate. How shall we stand it?" Juliette asked.

"You shall find me in the sparring ring from now until I meet you in the Chantry at Highever."

She laughed and he leaned in and kissed her deeply.

xXx

Juliette spent the next three weeks locked away in her office. She had spent nearly that long away from the Vigil during her time in Denerim, and there had been a great deal to do. Soon she would be departing again for her home, Highever, to be married to Nathaniel. Her heart leapt at the thought - it was a constant distraction for her - but she was dedicated to ensuring that her Arling was well maintained, and redoubled her efforts to prepare it for her absence.

This morning, Juliette was harried. She would be spending today with Varel, but it would be her last until she returned from Highever. There was so much to do but she was already anxious for the day to end. She was ready to depart, and that promised to make this day a long one.

Juliette finished lacing up her boots and hustled to her door. She hurried into the hallway and fairly raced down the stairs, breezed past Nathaniel in her haste. She stopped, wrinkled her nose, and turned around, looking back up the steps to see him standing there smiling at her.

"Nate! I'm sorry," she giggled and hurried up the steps to him. "I want to get through today and I'm a bit, uh, scattered."

Nathaniel laughed and came down a few steps to meet her. He leaned down and slowly kissed her, bidding her good morning.

Juliette sighed and sidled up another step so she could put her arms around his neck. They smiled contentedly at one another.

"You had better go before Varel comes looking for you," he said softly.

"Damn it!" and she kissed him quickly on the cheek and ran down the stairs.

The day that followed was hectic indeed. Varel and Juliette poured over the Keep's books, finalizing monthly payments to the various merchants and vendors that supplied the Vigil, she wrote to Weisshaupt informing her of her departure and her impending marriage; and two hours of planning with her guard captain for the expansion of the training grounds yielded great progress, but also created more work.

Finally, long after the lamps and candles were lit in her office, she and Varel agreed that little more could be accomplished.

"Allow me to say my lady, that I am most happy for you and Howe." Varel said gruffly. Juliette was shocked; Varel was rarely anything less than, well, Varel; it was why he was such a competent seneschal. This minor sentiment from him was quite touching.

"Varel, thank you, I appreciate that very much," she said.

"When you conscripted Nathaniel I ordered the men to watch him carefully, as I was certain he would betray you," Varel added. Juliette had suspected as much. It was like Varel to address each possible angle. "It is satisfying to say that I was quite wrong." he finished.

Juliette smiled at Varel and nodded. "I agree."

Varel rose and bowed to her slightly. "I shall see you in the morning, ma'am."

Juliette stacked the documents in the order that seemed most logical, and wiped her quills clean. She replaced the legers in the bookcases and secured the private correspondence. Blowing out the lamps and candles, she closed the office behind her.

She entered the main hall, sat down and picked over the remains of the dinner meal. She watched the slowing traffic of the men and servants. Anders appeared from the doorway and headed over to sit with her.

"Leaving on the 'morrow, are you?" Anders asked as he sat down with her. "You know, I've been thinking, my dear Commander, and I wanted to speak with you."

Juliette raised a single eyebrow and waited for Anders to continue, intrigued by his hesitation.

Anders looked around the hall making sure they were alone. He leaned in and said. "Intimacy is a key part of marriage."

Juliette's eyes bulged as she all but choked on her bite of lamb stew.

"Now, forgive me, I know that there were rumors about," Anders lowered his voice, "ah, you and the King, but I just wanted to let you know that, well, I would be happy to answer any questions you may have."

Juliette simply stared at Anders, completely at a loss for words.

"I myself have had, well, quite a bit of experience. I realized that with your mother gone that you won't get the traditional night before speech," he said. "So I just wanted you to know that I am happy to help and it will never come up again." Anders finished by holding up his hand, palm out. "Mages honor."

Juliette understood that Anders was trying to do something that was very kind. Smiling at him, she realized that two of her wardens had behaved rather sentimentally today. If this continued, she would have to lead an expedition into the Deep Roads for a manhood check.

"Anders, that is, uh, incredibly thoughtful of you. I truly appreciate the sentiment." she said "But I think that Nate has plenty of his own experience, and I am safe working it all out with him."

"Ah, well then, just wanted to make sure you were looked after." Anders said rising. "I really do look forward to seeing the famous Highever; I have always heard it was a warm place with good folk."

"It is," Juliette smiled looking up at him. "The Cousland's have worked to make it a peaceable and good place to live. And the ale and women aren't too bad either."

"Well then, next week can't come fast enough for me!" he laughed. "Goodnight Commander!"

Juliette watched Anders leave the hall and smiled again at the conversation they had just shared.

The next morning she was dressed and packed before the sun was fully up. She arrived in the hall and loaded her plate, saying her good mornings between bites. Finally, not seeing Nathaniel, she finished and hurried out into the courtyard, looking for him.

Nathaniel caught up with her at the stables.

"Leaving without a goodbye, then?" he asked as he reached her.

"Good morning! No, of course not, I was looking for you, actually." Juliette answered. "I am taking four men with me on the ride today. With any luck they shall return by tomorrow midday."

Nathaniel and Juliette walked her horse back out to the lower courtyard as the guard escorting her walked past to ready their own mounts. Varel walked down from the Keep and offered his greetings. "Commander, all is ready for your departure. Your personal pack is with Guardsmen Hill," Varel told her. "I wish you a safe journey, and will see you soon in Highever." Varel bowed and turned to go back up.

"Well, I suppose that's it then!" Juliette said smiling at Nathaniel. "I will see you at Highever in a week."

"Yes, you will." He kissed the top of her head and cupped his hands together, helping her mount. She was settled and he passed her the reins.

"I hope that the castle repairs are completed. I haven't been home in so very long." she told him.

"Fergus was confident things would be ready. I will see you very soon. Be careful. I love you."

"I love you," she replied.

Juliette tapped the flanks of her mare and rode to join the guard escorting her. Waving over her shoulder one last time, she disappeared through the Vigil's main gate.

_Special thanks to Lisa for beta reading this chapter! I truly value your input!_


	28. Highever

Highever

A week later, Nathaniel and a group of Wardens broke through the tree line on top of the slopes adjacent to Highever Castle. The town lay in the valley below, bathed in sunshine. The castle sat on the opposite hill and Nathaniel could clearly see the scars its walls bore from his father's attack. New stone mixed with old, and some of the turrets were new altogether. His mind's eye could envision what a mess her home had been and again he felt a flare of anger towards his dead father.

They entered the town through its east gate and Nathaniel led the party through to the larger of the two Inns. Fergus had made arrangements for most of the Wardens to stay in the town as the castle would have its fair share of noble guests. Nathaniel dismounted and the others followed suit. Oghren mostly tumbled off, much to Anders' amusement. Even Varel cracked a smile.

Nathaniel entered the inn and walked through the taproom. Many people turned to watch him walk through, some saying 'hello'. He had prepared himself for the townsfolk to be less than friendly to him, but he was heartened at the idea he may have been wrong.

He spoke with the innkeeper informing him of the arriving guests. All was as it should be, and he left the inn to give Varel everything he would need to take charge of those staying there. Nathaniel noticed that an older man sat in a chair at the edge of the courtyard, watching him intently. After finalizing things, he mounted to depart for the castle, passing the man as he went.

"Aren't you little Nate Howe?" he said.

"Yes sir, I am."

"You remember me, son? I used to be the blacksmith, taught you how to shape arrowheads one summer, been a long time ago, now."

"Mister Goring?" Nathaniel came off his horse and extended his hand. Mr. Goring shook it.

"So you do remember," he watched Nathaniel for a moment smiling. "Forgive my lack of manners, for not standing, but I'm old."

Nathaniel smiled, "No apology necessary sir, I have no title to rise to."

Mr. Goring looked at him and nodded. "I know. Your father caused a lot of hurt here, son. It's been a hard year for Highever."

"Yes sir, I am most sorry for it."

"Well, you didn't do it, heard none of the Howe children knew about it. Is it true that your brother, Tommy, died?" he asked.

"Yes sir, in the Battle of Denerim."

"Sorry to hear that, he was a good boy." he shook his head sadly. "So were you. Things have changed, but I wanted to stop you, tell you hello. I was happy to hear that our girl, excuse me, our lady" he smiled, "was marrying you. You two were always a pair, never far apart."

Nathaniel spent a few more minutes visiting and then excused himself, shaking the old Blacksmith's hand and bid him goodbye.

A short ride later, Nathaniel entered the outer courtyard of Highever Castle. The guard hurried down the steps and took his horse's reins, calling to a groom. Nathaniel greeted him and bound up the steps where he met Fergus's seneschal, Ser Hugh Tyburn.

Ser Tyburn escorted Nathaniel through the keep and explained that Fergus was in meetings and that Lady Cousland was in her quarters, with his sister, Delilah, who had arrived with her husband, Albert the day before. He sent a page off to retrieve her. Ser Tyburn ensured that Nathaniel was comfortable and then left him alone.

Nathaniel looked carefully at the hall. Had he not been here so many times it would be hard for him to discern the repairs from the original building. It was clear that the destruction had been massive. Fergus had done a remarkable job in restoring his home.

The side entrance swung open, and Juliette hurried through followed by his slightly rounded sister, Delilah. Juliette smiled widely as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her in hello. Delilah then hugged Nathaniel close.

"You have grown, sister." Nathaniel commented, his hand on her pregnant belly.

"Not I, brother, but your nephew," laughing as she patted her stomach, "or niece, we shall see."

Juliette apprised Nathaniel of the final details. He was pleased to hear that most guests had arrived and things were on schedule. Tomorrow could not come soon enough for him.

Fergus entered the hall a bit later and clasped Nathaniel's hand. Nathaniel offered his praise to Fergus's workers as they walked through the castle, discussing the repairs. Nathaniel was introduced to many of the guests, finding that he was more familiar with the visitors than he had expected. Fergus informed Nathaniel that the king would not be attending. Arl Eamon and his wife Isolde had arrived the day before with the king's gifts - two beautifully paired horses and matching inlaid saddles.

The afternoon went quickly, allowing Nathaniel little time to speak with Juliette. Finally, after the dinner served, and many toasts given, the family and friends said their goodnights. Nathaniel walked with Juliette to her room, alone with her for the first time since his arrival.

"I have something for you." Nathaniel told her and she looked to see he had a small package in his hands.

She bit her lip and smiled at him. "What is it?"

"A gift for my wife," he answered, placing it into her hands.

"So I have to wait to open it then?" she pouted slightly.

"No, I won't tell if you don't," he teased and she smiled at him before tearing the ribbon from the package. She quickly unwound the fabric and looked at the leather bound book. She opened it to see it was full of maps and charts.

"This is so detailed, what is it?"

"A book of star charts," Nathaniel explained. "It outlays the positions of the moons, stars, and planets depending on where we are in Thedas."

Her hand ran slowly over the intricate pages, reading the descriptions. "It's beautiful," she said.

"I thought," he said, "that if I will be spending the rest of my evenings on roof tops and battlements, this may prove handy."

Juliette closed the book and looked up at him. Truly, this man was more than she could ever have asked for. She stepped onto her tiptoes and leaned against him, kissing him softly. "I cannot thank you enough. It's perfect," she said. "I love you."

He smiled and kissed her again. They had reached her door.

"This, Jules, is the very last time I will leave you at your door," he said, and kissed her gently.

"Thank the Maker." she smiled against his lips.

Nathaniel laughed as he kissed her and watched as her door closed before he took himself off to bed.

xXx

The next day began early for everyone. The castle was fairly teeming with servants and pages. The kitchens were in full swing, and maids ran about arranging flowers and hanging garlands of Highever blooms on anything that would hold them.

Nathaniel, Fergus, and the other men spent the morning in the training area, watching the guard put on fighting displays and observing sparring matches. The women had the morning to prepare themselves for the afternoon wedding.

As the hour approached, Juliette and Delilah sat in her childhood bedroom, their heads together, as they went through the chest Juliette's mother, Eleanor, had left her. It was a treasure trove of fabrics and notes. Juliette had opened the trunk upon her arrival, realizing with despair the fabric had been chosen by her mother for Juliette's wedding gown, and there was not enough time to fulfill her mother's wish. Her saving grace had been finding her mother's own wedding dress at the bottom of the trunk, carefully wrapped in tissues. It was out of style but it was a whole dress, which was much easier to update and alter than starting something from scratch.

The dress was on the dress-maker's dummy, its beautiful stitching restored, the bodice and sleeves updated, and its modest train freshened and pressed.

A maid, Sarah, entered the room carrying a bucket of hot coals with several wooden-handled iron rods plungedinto its center. Juliette laughed and reminisced with Delilah, while her maid wound her long auburn locks around the rods, creating soft, wavy ringlets. Sarah bound her hair halfway at Juliette's crown, allowing the curls fall long and loose across her shoulders and upper back. Isolde arrived with fresh flowers, the tiny blooms worked into her hair, and finally it was time to put on the dress.

Fergus met Juliette in the main gallery of the family apartments and smiled at her. Offering his arm to her, she took it and he gently kissed her cheek.

"You are breathtaking Juliette, truly," he told her quietly. "The dress turned out very well. Mother would have liked it very much." He began to lead her out of the family wing. "I know we never discussed it, but Father had set aside a considerable dowry for you. Nathaniel will need to sign the paperwork after the vows."

Juliette nodded understanding. "What is considerable?" she asked.

"Ten thousand sovereigns and a small estate just south of the River Dane. It was left over from mother's dowry, the estate, I mean. I have no idea of its condition."

Juliette laughed. "So ends the penniless argument."

Fergus had the decency to blush.

Fifteen minutes later Delilah entered the Chantry and the doors closed behind her. Nathaniel was waiting at the front with the Revered Mother, with Arl Eamon standing at his side to represent the king.

The doors parted and the musicians played an old Highever love song, Bryce's favorite, and Fergus brought Juliette to Nathaniel. Quietly, and with joy, the two followed the Revered Mother's directions and made their vows. Soon, they were married and the Revered Mother blessed the entire gathering.

As the Revered Mother dismissed the gathered guests, Juliette wound her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss.

"You look absolutely stunning, Jules," he whispered to her. They kissed again to resounding applause.

They laughed and followed the crowd to the main hall. As the wedded couple, they sat at the high table. Fergus, Arl Eamon, and Isolde were at Juliette's left, and Delilah and her husband Albert to Nathaniel's right. The tables fanned out from theirs, in order of rank or title. The wedding feast began and the guests served. Juliette saw that the outer courtyard had tables out as well.

Fergus rose and formally introduced his new brother in law and sister, offering a childhood story and a toast. Cheers filled the hall and the guests began to eat and drink. Soon the wedding party had finished, and the Teyrn gave the word to his men to open the castle courtyard gates, allowing all the people of Highever to enter.

Musicians piped up, and several large kegs of ale and wine were rolled up from the cellars. Laughter filled the air and Nathaniel took Juliette by the hand, leading her to the courtyard as the Teyrn of Highever again announced his sister's marriage and introduced Nathaniel as his brother. The musicians began an old song and Nathaniel and Juliette led the first dance. The crowd cheered as he lifted her high, and all were welcomed to join in.

Well wishes abounded as the celebration went on. So many of the town folk remembered Nathaniel, and he was happy to see no apparent distrust of him. The people of Highever were as generous as ever. As evening fell, the castle was aglow with candle and lamplight. Lanterns strung on poles illuminated the courtyard where people still danced, drank, and sang.

Juliette had her arm looped through Fergus's, laughing as she watched Nathaniel dance with Delilah. He was being so careful with her that the dance descended from graceful to downright awkward.

"Highever is alive again, Juliette," Fergus said into her ear.

She nodded and whispered. "They are all here, Fergus."

For a quiet moment, the big brother and the little sister held each other close, happy, and safe in their home at last.

As the night drew to a close, and the dancing slowed, Juliette and Nathaniel were anxious to depart. Some of the local residents had left for their homes. Oghren sat with a group of older men, swapping stories. Anders had disappeared hours ago with a crofter's daughter.

Nathaniel stood up, offering her his arm. "Come, it's time for bed, wife."

The couple began their exit as discreetly as possible, but they were soon caught. A crowd surrounded them as hugs were given, well wishes offered, and Nathaniel was thumped on the back so many times he began to cough. Finally, with Juliette blushing red, they escaped the courtyard to cheers.

Running through the castle hand in hand, they raced to the suite of rooms that they would share until they returned to Vigil's Keep.

They arrived at their door, finally husband and wife.

"I told you I will not be leaving you at your door any longer, wife." Nathaniel said with a husky voice. Juliette grabbed his hand and pulled him in.

Nathaniel put both his hands on her face, drawing her to him. He carefully and slowly kissed her. "I am happier than you could know. My heart has always been yours Jules."

"I've been thinking about it, and I know when I fell in love with you. It was when you shoved Arthur Hamilton, for kicking that old dog in the village." Juliette said between kisses.

Nathaniel stopped kissing her. "Juliette, you were what, seven years old then?" Nathaniel asked.

"So?" she laughed.

He blinked rapidly a few times, and then grinned as he pulled her in for another kiss.

Juliette wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he pulled her against his chest. He kissed her deeply and he felt her hands behind his neck pulling him closer to her.

His hands went around her waist. He picked her up and carried her to the bed, lowering her by the bedside. Her hand ran down his neck and lay across his heart. She could feel it thundering underneath.

Nathaniel pulled off his coat and tunic and she marveled at his chest, running her fingers across his muscled torso. His kisses trailed down her neck, and together they worked the dress's bodice open and off. Nathaniel moaned as he was finally able to touch her, and she came alive under his hands and mouth.

He carefully lifted her and laid her back into the bed, his mouth never leaving her as he worked her skirts and stockings free. Juliette worked frantically at the laces of his breeches and finally they lay together unimpeded.

Juliette was lost in her need for him, kissing, and loving him everywhere she could. She loved the feel of his hands and wanted more and more of him. She paused, looked at him, and smiled, knowing he was hers at last. He was so beautiful and his body so large. He was so large.

Juliette's eyes widened "Nate, I think you're too… I don't know if…" she stammered.

"Trust me, Jules," he whispered. So she did.

Later, as they lay entangled together, Nathaniel stroked her back. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" he whispered in her ear.

She smiled and kissed his neck. "No, you seemed to know what you were about."

Nathaniel chuckled and it vibrated against her. "Well I am happy you think so."

Snuggling closer he held her tight.

"I love you, Jules."

"I love you, Nate."

**_Special thanks again to super editor Lisa!_**

**_In an effort to keep the entire story rated T, this less "descriptive" wedding night was written. A different version of this evening is published separately as a one shot titled, "Wedding Night"._**


	29. Full Circle

Full Circle

Nathaniel looked down upon the Keep's courtyard, watching the servants and merchants begin their day.

The pace of the day seemed leisurely to him, although it would soon be far from it. He saw the carts pulling into the courtyard, and watched his brother in law, Fergus, come out to meet them. It would soon be time to leave.

Nathaniel walked back into his rooms and carefully climbed into the large bed where his beautiful wife slept. He could scarcely believe it had been three years since they had married.

Her auburn hair splayed across the pillows, and her face had turned to the side. The covers were twisted around her. He gently pulled her sleeping form into his arms, and she sleepily threw her leg across his belly, snuggling her nose into his neck. His hand idly rubbed her bottom, and he kissed her forehead.

"Jules, beautiful, time to wake up," he told her.

"No," she muttered and snuggled closer. Nathaniel smiled and spoke again.

"Jules, we must depart for the king's wedding. Your brother and his wife await us."

"No," she said again, but she smiled up at him, kissing his chin. "I don't want to go to Denerim. They are all so desperately boring there. I want to stay here."

"You sound like a four year old, Jules," he smiled at her.

She groaned and stretched, Nathaniel unable to resist the chance to stroke her frame as she did.

"I thought you wanted me out of the bed," she purred.

An hour later, they both began to dress in a true hurry.

"Fergus will be livid!" Juliette laughed with Nathaniel, as she tossed his boot across the bed to him.

Arriving in the main hall they discovered Fergus was in fact, less than pleased.

"Oh darling, leave them be," said Fergus's wife, Eva, winking at them. "I think everyone is allowed a little extra, um, sleep now and then."

Fergus's bluster left him, as it usually did when Eva was about.

They had met two years ago while Fergus had been in Denerim. She, being the pretty daughter of a minor Bann, was not considered high born enough to wed Teyrn Cousland, but it had mattered little to him. She made him laugh and was a happy and smart woman. It was clear that they were a good match and they married a year later. Eva was pregnant with their first child and due in the fall. Juliette thought she was wonderful.

The two Wardens ate and Eva sat chatting, while Fergus spoke with his man about a last minute detail for departure. Seneschal Varel appeared, and Juliette received a quick morning report before he too went to finalize the Commander's business.

Shortly the group was ready to depart the Vigil for Denerim.

Fergus helped Eva into their carriage, making every effort to see to her comfort. Juliette and Nathaniel would ride ahead; the Cousland's would meet them at the appointed camping site. Fergus and Eva rode with a moderately large group of guards and servants and their pace would be slower.

As the groups departed, Juliette looked at Nathaniel and smiled. She waved at Varel and Anders and followed her husband up the road.

Hours later as they rode side by side, Juliette looked at Nathaniel. "Nate, will you tell me what Alistair said to you?" she asked.

"What, before we were married?" he replied and she nodded.

Nathaniel sighed. They had both seen King Alistair several times over the last three years, yet he had not told her the details and she had never asked. He knew she understood it had been had been important and difficult for both men. "He told me to let nothing stand in the way of loving you, to let no man or thing deter me."

"Oh." she said quietly as she blinked and looked off to the distance. After a moment, she smiled at Nathaniel. "I must thank him for the endorsement."

They rode quietly and then she reached across to take his hand. "I hope they will be happy, Nate. All things being what they are, Alistair should have someone who loves him the way I love you."

Nathaniel leaned over to place a kiss on her hand.

"It's been three years, and he has changed a great deal. He seems much more confident than he used to be. Perhaps we ride to see the start of a great love." Nathaniel offered, smiling at her.

"Those do seem to be going around."

**The End**

**_Thank you to everyone for sticking it out with Nate and Jules. Each review was wonderfully helpful and a greatly appreciated. I have learned a great deal. A very special thanks to Lisa for her fantastic, (mercifully kind) and quick editing, you really are the best!_**


End file.
